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Are you lonely? If so, this one is for you.

First, I want you to know you are not alone in feeling lonely (no pun intended). I’m often surprised at how many people tell me they are lonely & I think if only I could get these people together, they would be less lonely.

Second, how often are you putting yourself out there? We think people will come to us, but that’s not really how it works.

How often are you saying, Hi, I’m Christine. Do you want to hang out?
Are you willing to meet for coffee?
Can we hang out on Marco Polo?
Or even– where do you hang out the most? Can I meet you there?

You have to be willing to try.

If they say no, or it doesn’t work out, move on to the next person. Keep trying.

One of my core beliefs is that there is someone for everyone.

If you haven’t found your person (or your people) yet, they are somewhere– keep looking.

What do you want your friendships to be like?
Who do you need to be to create that kind of friendship?
What do you need to believe about yourself, them, and people (in general)? Where do you think these people hang out? Go there. Talk to them; don’t just stand at the wall or bury your head in a book.
Be willing to be vulnerable in both initiating a conversation and then
in sharing vulnerable things about yourself.

The energy you put out is the energy that comes back to you, so be the kind of friend you want to have.

And then, see how it goes.

Are you enjoying your time with them?
Are they reciprocating?
Do you like who you are when you’re with them?
Does this friendship seem to have potential?
Do they challenge you; will they help you grow as a person?

There is someone for everyone.
You have to get out and meet people (even virtually, if not in person).
Your people are out there.
Keep looking; keep going, and you will find them.

If you would like help with more strategies & mindset about how not to feel lonely, I can help you. I offer complimentary, no-obligation consultation calls. Book here.

Reminder: Employees get free coaching sessions as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish. They can book an in-person coaching session here, or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

There is FREEDOM in knowing everyone is responsible for their own thoughts and feelings.

You don’t want to return texts,

You don’t wish to exchange Christmas gifts,

You don’t want to participate in Friendsgiving,

Or family Thanksgiving.

You don’t have to.

At all.

Zero obligation.

You may think, but

They’ll think I’m rude.

I’m ruining the fun.

I’m wrecking their holiday.

They will be upset.

It is not your responsibility to make someone else feel a certain way.

You can’t make someone else feel a certain way.

I’m picturing The Bear Christmas episode.

[Spoiler Alert]

Everyone can be there.

And it can still be a complete disaster.

No one could “make” their mom feel better.

True, there were other factors at play in this episode, but apply this scenario to your own life.

When have you done everything you can to make someone feel a certain way, to no avail?

You get to decide for yourself (& your family) what cultural norms you do & don’t want to ascribe to.

Decide for yourself, and then know and like your reasons.

I don’t want to return this text because I want more quality time with my family.

I don’t wish to exchange Christmas gifts because it’s stressful and costly.

I don’t want to go to Friendsgiving because we’re overwhelmed with our commitments and schedule. 

Please note that these reasons are for clarity, not because you have to explain it to someone else. You can if you want to, but that is also not required.

They can think these things (you’re rude, you’re ruining the fun & you’ve wrecked their holiday), and you will still be OK.

You will be spending more time with your family; you’ll have less stress, more money, and more time. 

And they will be OK, too. 

They can figure it out, learn to have fun anyway, and have complete responsibility for their thoughts and feelings. 

If you are tired of doing things for everyone else… 

If you’re over being “guilt-tripped” into submission…

If you know what you want but need help sticking to it…

I can help you be free. 

The first step is to book a consultation with me here.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. They can book an in-person coaching session here, or a remote/Zoom coaching session here.

This can’t possibly be my life.

Have you ever had one of those moments?

I’ve had several of those moments in my life, to varying degrees.

Maybe you have found yourself in the wrong relationship, in the wrong job, or living in the wrong place.

If this is you, I assure you, it’s never too late to make a change.

A new relationship, a different job, and another location are available to you.

The first step is awareness- this part has got to go.

Then assess- what would you rather have instead?
What is possible?

Then, create a plan, implement that plan, and evaluate your results.

Wash, rinse, and repeat until you arrive at your desired outcome.

Don’t overcomplicate it.

Don’t make it harder than it needs to be.

Just do this.

It really is this simple.

Does your brain not believe it is this simple?

Let’s walk through a specific example.

Let’s say you’re in the wrong job; the job has got to go.

What would you rather do instead?

Don’t know? Write a list of things you DO want to do and things (not jobs) you DON’T want to do.

Now, write a list of what jobs fit into these categories.

Which of these jobs fits into those categories the best? Trust yourself to make a decision.

That’s the job that you’re going to start with.

Write a list of what someone must do to get that job.

Put it in chronological order to the best of your ability.
This becomes your plan.

Implement your plan.

Evaluate your progress at regular intervals.

Modify accordingly.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

If you’re having a “this isn’t it” moment in your life & you’d like to make a change, I can help you. The first step is to book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation. Let’s talk and get you on your way to a life you love living.

LHW Employees can book an IN-PERSON coaching session here (Thursdays only) and a REMOTE coaching session (more availability) here.

One thing I often see people struggle with is consistency (or lack thereof).

You create a plan, but either don’t stick to it or don’t stick to it long enough.

You think it’s not working, so you change course or start again, setting yourself back to square one.

I’m all about evaluating, correcting course, and moving forward, but have you taken enough consistent action for a long enough time to tell?

AND (be honest!) are you really taking all the action necessary to create that result,

Or are you taking some of the action some of the time, but not all of the action… ever?

To be clear, I’m not talking about hustling or working 24/7.

I’m talking about taking action consistently.

And most of the time.

I see this happen most often when people feel confused or unsure.

They are not confident to stick with it long enough to get the desired results.

Maybe they aren’t getting results as fast as they want.

Maybe it just feels worse than they think it should.

Maybe they’re comparing & despairing. Other people are making double the progress in half the time; surely something must be wrong.

To remedy this-
Decide in advance:
What action are you willing to take?
How frequently?
For how long of a time?
(Know there is no magic number or length of time; it’s whatever you want it to be.)
Do that and stick with it.

Then, check back in.

For example, are you writing three pages per day of your book, like you said you would?

Are you posting five times a week and doing three weekly Reels, like you said you would?

Are you telling your spouse something you adore about them daily and going on a monthly getaway, like you said you would?

If you take these actions consistently for six months, you will be far closer to having a written book, a more significant online presence, or a better marriage.

If you’re struggling to show up consistently,
If you’re not sure what action to take,
or how frequently,
or for how long,
I can help you.

The first step is to contact me-
you can book a consultation right here.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. They can book an in-person coaching session here, or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

When change is happening to you- how much chill do you have?

Probably little to none.

Don’t worry, you’re not alone.

Change seems not very chill, but

It’s helpful to remember that change takes TIME.

It takes a bit for us to get accustomed to change.

It takes time to feel OK with change.

It takes a bit for us to become comfortable with change,

To know that we are OK and safe,

Despite the change happening around us.

Think about when you started driving a car.

How hard it seemed at first.

How many things there were to think about at the same time.

How it seemed so scary b/c you could kill someone.

Even though I wanted to drive, I remember thinking I didn’t really like that responsibility.

Now we get into our cards & practically check out until we mindlessly arrive at our destination.

We don’t think about how to drive the car, how to get where we’re going…

We even automatically step on the break from the passenger seat when we’re in a car that someone else is driving.

This is how second nature driving becomes.

So, the next time something changes, see that you can create more chill.

You could pick a timeframe & decide not to worry about it until one month, three months, or six months from now.

Give it some time first…

Then, see if you need to be upset and worried about it and go from there.

Do you have a project you would love to complete?
~ clean out the garage
~ landscape a corner of the yard
~ sell some unused things collecting dust in your basement?

Every time you go into the garage, look at that corner of the yard, or go into the basement to retrieve something, you feel…
irritated, annoyed, ashamed, guilty, disappointed, embarrassed, disapproving, provoked, resentful, frustrated, inadequate or overwhelmed.

It’s been like that for months, maybe years, and yet you just can’t seem to get started on it.

You wonder what is wrong with you- it’s just a basement, yard, or garage, after all!!
Time and time again, you continue to feel bad about it.

You could accept that the project is not your priority right now.

You could also knock off the procrastination and get to work, breaking down what needs to be done step-by-step.

What is the desired result?
What are the clear, small, specific steps to get there?
When will you do them?
When are you willing to take the first step?
This is your plan.

Next is to implement that plan.
Do what you said you would do when you said you would do it,
Which will likely involve feeling a certain way.
What way might you feel?

Perhaps FOMO– if your friends or family are doing something fun, but you had planned to clean out the garage.

You may feel confused or unsure where to start or how to do it.

Or you will be tired and not feel like doing a project right now.

Do it anyway.

Don’t wait to feel motivated– motivation may never come.

Sometimes, even when you don’t “feel like” doing it, it needs to get done, so do it anyway.

Take all your FOMO, confusion & tiredness with you as you do the first step.

It is only through taking action that it will get done, and you will learn how to do it as you go.

Evaluate to learn how to do it better next time.

Take the negative emotions with you as you implement, then evaluate, learn, and do it better next time.

Let’s talk about change.

Sometimes, there’s a lot of change going on around you, and it can be scary & unnerving.

Sometimes, there’s so much change you’re just exhausted of it.

Fed up.

You want it to stop.

You want to get off the merry-go-round.

Where is the emergency shut-off button?

It makes sense, right?

Your brain wants to

~ seek immediate pleasure

~ avoid immediate pain

~ conserve energy

So, of course, change is hard.

Change can put us into fight, flight, or fear mode.

And when we’re in those survival modes for long periods, we get exhausted.

Which is unfortunate because

~ change is inevitable

~ change will keep happening

~ change is a normal part of life

~ some changes you can control

~ some changes you can’t control, no matter how hard you try

But the good news is that you still have power.

You can decide how you want to HANDLE change.

You can do this by simply asking yourself:

How do I WANT to handle this change?

And be realistic, right, because your brain will say-

“Well, we don’t want this to change in the first place, so now what?”

Or

“I don’t want change, I don’t want any part of that, I don’t want it to be different.”

So, gently remind yourself-

This is changing. Change is inevitable.

How do I WANT to handle this change?

Consider: what is the best-case scenario for handling this change?

Then do that.

That’s it.

How could we? Then do it.

It really is that simple,

Especially when you remove all the internal discussion/ dialogue/ arguing.

This is happening.

Period.

Now what?

You get to decide.

It’s so empowering.

And I want to offer that if you struggle with change, I can help you.

I’ll help you see why you struggle.

I’ll help you not struggle so much.

I’ll help you make empowered decisions about how you want to handle change & anything else that’s going on around you.

So you can love the life you live.

There was a time, earlier in my coaching career, when I thought, ‘Wait, so I’m going to teach people that to feel better, they just need to change their thoughts?’

Yes.

‘And I’m going to tell people suffering tremendous heartbreak; perhaps they’ve lost a child or are miserable at their jobs, or they feel stuck; they have unrealized dreams because they have a mortgage to pay…

And those people can just change their thoughts?’

Yes, & it works.

Let’s say you want to have a difficult conversation with your boss.
You have a patient safety-related concern to discuss.
Do you think, ‘They’re going to be upset with me; my boss might think I’m being difficult?’
Instead, think, ‘This might be a serious problem & could endanger someone. If I don’t speak up, someone might get hurt.’

Do you see how having that conversation becomes easier when focusing on the patient?

It might still be true that you’re worried your boss might be upset with you, but you’re willing for that to happen to keep patients safe.

Here’s another one:
It takes you 20 minutes to write an email, which could have taken 2 minutes.
You’re worried about how your email will be perceived; you want to be sure you’re explaining it well. Or you’re unsure of how to word your request.
Instead, think, ‘I’m intelligent, capable, & articulate,’ & just write the email.

What about something big, like, ‘They shouldn’t have died?’
Does having this thought change the outcome? No.
Does having this thought help you to feel better? Also no.

What do you want to think instead?
‘It was just their time.’
If that doesn’t work for you, keep looking- what thought WILL help you to feel better?
When I was in high school & lost my grandfather, a thought that helped me was, ‘I’ll see him again someday.’ (I believe our souls get to hang out together after this life.)

So, yes, I am recommending that you simply change your thoughts.
Your thoughts are a choice, & you can decide what to think.
Search for the better feeling thought & then think that thought over & over.

If you want to help with thoughts to enhance your life and how shifting your mindset can lead to better results, reach out. Working together, we’ll focus on techniques to improve your thoughts, making navigating challenges & achieving your goals easier. Book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation call here.

As a reminder, Logan Health Whitefish employees have access to coaching with me at no charge to you! You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote coaching session (via phone or Zoom, with more availability) here.