We spend a lot of time trying to live up to certain standards.
A clean house.
A good job.
A balanced life.
Being a “team player.”
But pause for a second and ask: According to whom?
Who decided what “clean” means?
Or what it looks like to be a “good” nurse, leader, parent, or partner?
Who determines when you’ve done enough?
We talk so much about expectations — but rarely about who sets them.
The Myth of a Universal Standard
Most of the standards we hold ourselves to were never consciously chosen.
They just appeared.
Maybe it started with how your parents did things.
Or how your manager runs their unit.
Or how your neighbor seems to have their life perfectly color-coded and under control.
Without realizing it, we collect these standards like mental sticky notes:
“Good employees always say yes.”
“Successful people wake up early.”
“Real adults keep their house spotless.”
But none of those are facts.
They’re borrowed beliefs — and we follow them without asking whether they make sense for us.
The Problem with Borrowed Standards
When you live by other people’s standards, you end up chasing goals that don’t actually fit your life.
You overwork because “everyone else” stays late.
You deep-clean when you’d rather rest.
You volunteer for one more committee because that’s what “good nurses” do.
Then you wonder why you’re exhausted, resentful, or feeling like you’re never caught up.
It’s not that you’re doing life wrong — it’s that you’re measuring it by someone else’s ruler.
Redefining “Good Enough”
Here’s the truth: there’s no universal definition of “clean,” “productive,” or “successful.”
Does clean mean baseboards and windows?
Or a quick toilet swish and clear countertops?
Does “being a good nurse” mean never saying no?
Or providing excellent care without sacrificing yourself in the process?
You get to decide.
And you always have.
The standards you live by are choices, not commandments.
And when you start noticing where those expectations come from — and whether you actually agree with them — life gets a lot lighter.
Try This
The next time you feel pressure to meet a standard, ask yourself:
- Who decided this was the rule?
- Do I even agree with it?
- What would “enough” look like for me right now?
That one question — according to whom? — can change everything.
Because once you start defining your own standards, you stop living on everyone else’s terms.
You start living yours.
If you’re tired of trying to meet everyone else’s standards and ready to create your own, coaching can help.
Together, we’ll identify what truly matters to you — and design a life that feels clear, balanced, and genuinely your own.
If you’re a Logan Health employee, remember: coaching sessions are included in your benefits at no cost to you.
If not, you can schedule a complimentary consultation to see what coaching could look like for you.
You can also join my email list or follow along on Instagram for practical tools and mindset shifts to make life easier.
