Have you ever noticed that the more you avoid something, the heavier it feels?
You tell yourself you’ll do it after your shift.
Then after you get a few days off.
Then after you feel “caught up.”
But somehow, the more you put it off, the worse it feels — and the harder it becomes to start.
That’s what I call the resistance spiral.
What the Resistance Spiral Is
The resistance spiral is that mental tug-of-war between wanting to do something and not wanting to do it at all.
It shows up in ways that seem harmless at first:
- Checking your phone before charting.
- Scrolling instead of exercising.
- Thinking, I’ll do it later when I have more energy.
But underneath the surface, it’s your brain doing exactly what it’s designed to do — protect you from discomfort.
The problem? It’s protecting you from the very thing that would make your life easier in the long run.
Why It Happens
Resistance isn’t laziness. It’s neuroscience.
When you face something that feels uncomfortable, uncertain, or overwhelming, your amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) lights up. It sends a signal: Danger. Avoid.
Even though you’re not facing a physical threat, your brain reacts as if you are.
And because your brain values safety over progress, it nudges you toward what feels familiar — which usually means staying stuck.
That’s why you might find yourself organizing drawers instead of sending that email, or replaying a difficult conversation in your head instead of addressing it directly.
The resistance spiral is your brain trying to keep you comfortable — even when that comfort is actually causing you stress.
How the Spiral Builds
It often starts with a small hesitation.
You think, I’ll get to it later.
Then later comes, and you don’t feel any more ready — so you avoid it again.
Avoidance brings temporary relief, which teaches your brain that avoiding is “safe.”
But it also brings guilt and self-judgment — which create more stress, more resistance, and more avoidance.
And just like that, you’re in a loop:
Hesitation → Avoidance → Guilt → Self-Judgment → More Avoidance.
The longer it continues, the louder the negative self-talk becomes:
Why can’t I just do it? What’s wrong with me?
Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re just caught in a thought pattern that can be changed.
How to Break the Resistance Spiral
Let’s be honest — the only way out is through.
The good news? You don’t have to overhaul your life or summon massive motivation.
You just have to interrupt the pattern.
Here’s how:
- Name it.
When you feel yourself resisting, say, “This is resistance.”
Naming it shifts the power from your unconscious brain to your conscious one. - Lower the bar.
Resistance thrives on all-or-nothing thinking.
Instead of “I have to finish everything,” try “I’ll start for five minutes.”
Progress beats perfection — every single time. - Choose one micro-action.
Send one email. Make one phone call. Write one sentence.
Action quiets resistance faster than analysis ever will. - Trade judgment for curiosity.
Instead of “What’s wrong with me?”, ask “What’s my brain protecting me from right now?”
Often, it’s fear of failure, rejection, or not doing it perfectly. - Create safety for action.
Remind yourself that discomfort isn’t danger.
The discomfort of starting is temporary. The relief of follow-through lasts much longer.
The Tough-Love Truth
If you’re waiting to feel ready, you’re feeding the spiral.
You don’t need to feel ready to begin — you just need to begin.
Action changes how you feel.
Not the other way around.
That’s why so many healthcare professionals get stuck: you’ve been taught to push through exhaustion, overcommit, and meet impossible standards.
But those same habits make resistance stronger when it comes to doing things for yourself.
So here’s the truth:
You can’t outthink resistance. You have to out-action it.
Reframing Resistance
What if resistance isn’t the enemy?
What if it’s simply a signal — pointing to what matters most?
We don’t resist things that don’t matter.
That email you’re avoiding, the boundary you need to set, the conversation you’ve been dreading — it’s uncomfortable because it’s important.
When you learn to see resistance as a sign of significance, not weakness, you stop fighting yourself and start working with your brain instead of against it.
You Don’t Have to Do It Alone
If resistance is keeping you stuck — especially around boundaries — this month’s Boundaries Masterclass is for you.
Join me on Thursday, November 6 at 12 noon via Zoom. Register here.
Come as you are. Cameras off. Attendance is anonymous.
You’ll have a chance to interact privately with me in the chat, and if time allows, we’ll do some live coaching.
We’ll talk about:
- Why saying “no” feels so hard (and how your brain makes it harder).
- What boundaries really are (and aren’t).
- How to stop the guilt spiral that comes after you finally set one.
You don’t need to be ready — you just need to show up.
And this time, you won’t have to do it alone.
