You see a colleague land the promotion, plan the big trip, or walk out the door on time with their charting finished.
And in the quiet of your mind, you tell yourself: “That’s for them — not for me.”
It’s a small sentence, almost a whisper. But if you’re honest, it’s one you’ve repeated more times than you’d like to admit.
The Pattern You’re Living In
“That’s for them” thinking is not about facts — it’s about worthiness.
It’s the quiet belief that good things are meant for other people, not you. And once your brain offers you that belief, you don’t question it. You just live inside of it.
This shows up in subtle but costly ways: turning down opportunities, minimizing your own needs, or pushing through another shift because you assume your wellbeing is less important than someone else’s.
What It Looks Like Day to Day
Think about these moments:
- You don’t apply for the leadership role because you assume they want someone “more polished.”
- You stay late to finish charting instead of going home, convinced you’re not the kind of person who deserves to leave on time.
- You tell yourself you’ll take that vacation next year, when the team isn’t short-staffed — knowing deep down you probably won’t.
Each of these choices looks reasonable from the outside. But underneath, they’re driven by the same thought: “That’s for them.”
Why This Thought Matters
This pattern might feel small, but it reshapes your entire career and life.
Every time you treat “that’s for them” as truth, you shrink your options. You don’t just miss a single opportunity — you reinforce a story about yourself.
The cost?
- Burnout creeps in faster because you never give yourself the same rest you’d encourage in a patient.
- Confidence erodes as you silently watch others claim what you quietly want.
- Resentment builds because you keep giving while convincing yourself you’re not allowed to receive.
This isn’t just about promotions or vacations. It’s about the slow erosion of believing you’re worthy of more. And when your brain runs on “not for me,” your life narrows to survival mode — even if, on paper, you’re successful.
A Reframe to Consider
Here’s the truth: “That’s for them” is just a thought. Not a fact.
The moment you start to see it that way, you open up space to test something different. And when you do, you realize that much of what you thought was out of reach has always been available — if you decide you’re worthy of it.
Your Next Step
If you work at Logan Health, remember: you already have access to free coaching through your benefits. This is your chance to bring those “that’s for them” thoughts into the open and explore what’s actually possible for you. Book a coaching session here.
If you’re not a Logan Health employee, I invite you to book a complimentary consultation with me. It’s a safe space to talk about the patterns holding you back and what life could look like if you stopped believing that whisper in your mind.
