Do you support your spouse, I mean REALLY support your spouse- to be the person they want to be?
At this point in our marriage, we hardly say no to each other. But it hasn’t always been that way.
I allowed fear and negativity to rule me for much of my life. When my husband started talking to me about his desire to go on medical mission trips, I naturally said no. I was scared and worried about… everything. There were many unknowns. Would he be OK? What would happen to us? Could I manage the house and property alone? Quite frankly, I felt he should just be home taking care of us. I felt guilty and selfish for feeling this way, making it all that much worse.
I put on my (fake) happy face for our daughter, co-workers, family, and friends, pretending to be the loving and supportive wife I wanted to be. (Only those who knew us best knew I was not happy about these trips.)
Through coaching, I learned how he is the hero in his own life. (By the way, we are all the heroes of our own lives.) I understood his desire to make a difference in the world by helping those who need it most, and that “just staying home with his family,” who have health, wellbeing, and everything we need, is not enough to satiate this drive in him.
I learned that I am OK, alone. I can have my own life, too; after all, I have my own goals and dreams and a desire to make a difference. I have what I need within me, including my own happiness, and with that, he is no longer solely responsible for making me feel good, or happy, or secure.
We have acceptance and freedom in our relationship, and with that comes an even deeper love. We really and earnestly support each other one hundred percent, and our entire relationship is at a whole different level.
I still worry about his safety, but I find peace in knowing he’s doing what he is meant to do in this life, and it feels good that I am supporting him to be the man he wants to be.
