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Do you have a project you would love to complete?
~ clean out the garage
~ landscape a corner of the yard
~ sell some unused things collecting dust in your basement?

Every time you go into the garage, look at that corner of the yard, or go into the basement to retrieve something, you feel…
irritated, annoyed, ashamed, guilty, disappointed, embarrassed, disapproving, provoked, resentful, frustrated, inadequate or overwhelmed.

It’s been like that for months, maybe years, and yet you just can’t seem to get started on it.

You wonder what is wrong with you- it’s just a basement, yard, or garage, after all!!
Time and time again, you continue to feel bad about it.

You could accept that the project is not your priority right now.

You could also knock off the procrastination and get to work, breaking down what needs to be done step-by-step.

What is the desired result?
What are the clear, small, specific steps to get there?
When will you do them?
When are you willing to take the first step?
This is your plan.

Next is to implement that plan.
Do what you said you would do when you said you would do it,
Which will likely involve feeling a certain way.
What way might you feel?

Perhaps FOMO– if your friends or family are doing something fun, but you had planned to clean out the garage.

You may feel confused or unsure where to start or how to do it.

Or you will be tired and not feel like doing a project right now.

Do it anyway.

Don’t wait to feel motivated– motivation may never come.

Sometimes, even when you don’t “feel like” doing it, it needs to get done, so do it anyway.

Take all your FOMO, confusion & tiredness with you as you do the first step.

It is only through taking action that it will get done, and you will learn how to do it as you go.

Evaluate to learn how to do it better next time.

Take the negative emotions with you as you implement, then evaluate, learn, and do it better next time.

Let’s talk about change.

Sometimes, there’s a lot of change going on around you, and it can be scary & unnerving.

Sometimes, there’s so much change you’re just exhausted of it.

Fed up.

You want it to stop.

You want to get off the merry-go-round.

Where is the emergency shut-off button?

It makes sense, right?

Your brain wants to

~ seek immediate pleasure

~ avoid immediate pain

~ conserve energy

So, of course, change is hard.

Change can put us into fight, flight, or fear mode.

And when we’re in those survival modes for long periods, we get exhausted.

Which is unfortunate because

~ change is inevitable

~ change will keep happening

~ change is a normal part of life

~ some changes you can control

~ some changes you can’t control, no matter how hard you try

But the good news is that you still have power.

You can decide how you want to HANDLE change.

You can do this by simply asking yourself:

How do I WANT to handle this change?

And be realistic, right, because your brain will say-

“Well, we don’t want this to change in the first place, so now what?”

Or

“I don’t want change, I don’t want any part of that, I don’t want it to be different.”

So, gently remind yourself-

This is changing. Change is inevitable.

How do I WANT to handle this change?

Consider: what is the best-case scenario for handling this change?

Then do that.

That’s it.

How could we? Then do it.

It really is that simple,

Especially when you remove all the internal discussion/ dialogue/ arguing.

This is happening.

Period.

Now what?

You get to decide.

It’s so empowering.

And I want to offer that if you struggle with change, I can help you.

I’ll help you see why you struggle.

I’ll help you not struggle so much.

I’ll help you make empowered decisions about how you want to handle change & anything else that’s going on around you.

So you can love the life you live.

There was a time, earlier in my coaching career, when I thought, ‘Wait, so I’m going to teach people that to feel better, they just need to change their thoughts?’

Yes.

‘And I’m going to tell people suffering tremendous heartbreak; perhaps they’ve lost a child or are miserable at their jobs, or they feel stuck; they have unrealized dreams because they have a mortgage to pay…

And those people can just change their thoughts?’

Yes, & it works.

Let’s say you want to have a difficult conversation with your boss.
You have a patient safety-related concern to discuss.
Do you think, ‘They’re going to be upset with me; my boss might think I’m being difficult?’
Instead, think, ‘This might be a serious problem & could endanger someone. If I don’t speak up, someone might get hurt.’

Do you see how having that conversation becomes easier when focusing on the patient?

It might still be true that you’re worried your boss might be upset with you, but you’re willing for that to happen to keep patients safe.

Here’s another one:
It takes you 20 minutes to write an email, which could have taken 2 minutes.
You’re worried about how your email will be perceived; you want to be sure you’re explaining it well. Or you’re unsure of how to word your request.
Instead, think, ‘I’m intelligent, capable, & articulate,’ & just write the email.

What about something big, like, ‘They shouldn’t have died?’
Does having this thought change the outcome? No.
Does having this thought help you to feel better? Also no.

What do you want to think instead?
‘It was just their time.’
If that doesn’t work for you, keep looking- what thought WILL help you to feel better?
When I was in high school & lost my grandfather, a thought that helped me was, ‘I’ll see him again someday.’ (I believe our souls get to hang out together after this life.)

So, yes, I am recommending that you simply change your thoughts.
Your thoughts are a choice, & you can decide what to think.
Search for the better feeling thought & then think that thought over & over.

If you want to help with thoughts to enhance your life and how shifting your mindset can lead to better results, reach out. Working together, we’ll focus on techniques to improve your thoughts, making navigating challenges & achieving your goals easier. Book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation call here.

As a reminder, Logan Health Whitefish employees have access to coaching with me at no charge to you! You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote coaching session (via phone or Zoom, with more availability) here.

“Let’s just see what we can do here.”

This is one of my new favorite thoughts.

My brain automatically goes to a place of feeling empowered, like “challenge accepted,”

And it gets to work thinking of more ideas & what I CAN do here.

For example, what if you get a flat tire & you’re not 100% sure you know how to or will physically be able to change the tire?

Instead of thinking- I don’t know how to do this,

You could think- let’s just see what I can do here.

What about volunteering (or maybe being voluntold) for a project at work?

Are you going to say no or ask for instructions & then––

“Let’s see what we can do here.”

How soon can you pay off your mortgage?

How much money can you save for retirement?

When can you go on your dream vacation?

“Well, let’s just see what we can do here.”

It helps show your brain some possibilities.

It allows your brain to get to work figuring it out.

It’s amazing how creative, resilient, and intelligent our brains are when we see them off in the right direction.

So tell me, what result would you love to create in life?

And what can you do to get there?

If you would like help to see what you can do here….

If you would like help to map out clear steps to get there…

If you would like an accountability partner to hold you to your action steps,

I can help you.

Book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation here.

One call can change it all!

OR sign up for the next CSC Masterclass & come check me out.

I’m teaching about Should Thinking.

Logan Health Whitefish Employees can sign up for in-person coaching here.

Or remote coaching (via phone or Zoom & more availability) here.

And this is me learning what I can do here- sharing my tools, knowledge & skills with you all.

You wish things were different than how they are. 

You wish your spouse would offer to take the kids to sports on Saturday morning after you’ve been with them all week. 

You wish your kids would pick up their socks off the couch (they’re multiplying like bunnies; there are now five socks). 

You wish there weren’t so many changes at work. 

You wish Sally would stop complaining about Jane & just do her work. 

You wish you didn’t have to deal with personnel’s personal issues. 

If everyone would just do what they are supposed to do, things would be so much better! 

There’s good news & bad news here. 

The bad news is they have free will and can do whatever they want. 

The good news is you have free will and can do whatever you want, too… 

The first step is to be aware that you’re “shoulding” all over the other people. 

When you wish things were different from how they are, you’re arguing with reality. 

The socks are already there, Sally continues complaining, and your husband hasn’t offered to take the kids. 

Just because this is what’s happening doesn’t mean YOU can’t be any different. 

You can have peace despite the complaining. 

You can feel respected despite the socks on the couch. 

You can be happy even though your husband is not offering to take the kids. 

Cool, right? 

You don’t know how to do this yet. 

But it’s pretty simple and doable. 

I’ll show you exactly how in the Shoulding Masterclass. 

When: Tuesday, September 26 at 11 AM MT 

How: via Zoom. Register here. Tell your friends. 

You can have more peace, be happier, and be more content, and I can’t wait to show you how. 

What is your definition of envy? 

What if envy is just an indication someone else has something that you want, too, like a signpost? 

You can just notice it– oh, isn’t that interesting? I feel envious of her. She must have something that I want. What is it that she has that I want, too?

What is that signpost pointing to? 

You can also look to see where that envy stems from. 

Why do you feel envy?

Where might you be lacking or feeling inadequate? 

And is it true? 

Try to remove the personal aspect, or at least don’t use it against yourself. 

What did they do to get it? 

Where can you take what they did & apply it to you? 

Use it to see possibility– if they have/did it, you can have/do it, too. 

You don’t have to be upset or feel bad for how you feel– all feelings are welcome– but you get to decide what you want to DO about it. 

I suggest you take a look, get curious & see how you can break it down, and get some of that for you, too. 

Are you feeling envious lately? 

I can help you embrace envy as a signpost pointing to your desires, discover what you truly want, explore where the envy stems from, and use it as an opportunity for personal growth. 

Let’s break it down together and find ways to create & live a life you love.

The first step is to book a consultation by clicking here.

Logan Health Whitefish employees can book in-person coaching here.

Or a remote coaching session (more availability) here.

Next FREE Masterclass: Should Thinking
Tuesday, September 26 at 11 AM MT

Do you have thoughts like these? She shouldn’t be here if she’s sick. He should be more careful. I shouldn’t be further along by now. It shouldn’t be this hard for me. The insurance should cover this. The line shouldn’t be so long. This shouldn’t cost so much. 

On Tuesday, September 26th, 2023, at 11 AM MT, I’m sharing the most common shoulds I’ve struggled with, where my clients often apply this work, and how you can eliminate shoulds from your thought process so you can feel better and live a life you love.

Registration is required. You can do so here

How much time, energy & effort are you spending complaining about a situation rather than coming up with solutions? 

You complain that Sally at work keeps coming into your office to chat rather than discussing an appropriate time to interrupt you. 

You vent about your spouse to your girlfriends rather than having an open and candid conversation with your spouse. 

You complain about the recent hike in property taxes, how little everyone is paid, and the gas price rather than finding creative ways to budget, save, or create additional income. 

You complain about your GI bloat, your back pain, or your fingernail sensitivity rather than taking steps to consult professionals, research treatment options, or adopt healthy habits. 

You complain about time without implementing strategies like practicing constraint, delegating, or setting boundaries to optimize productivity. 

You lament about incomplete tasks or missed deadlines without developing effective time management techniques or seeing accountability. 

You complain about stagnant growth or feeling stuck without seeking opportunities for growth, learning, or change. 

You grumble about environmental problems like pollution, waste, or climate change without participating in advocacy, sustainable practices, or community initiatives. 

You engage in griping about your family rather than exploring effective communication strategies or seeing routes to improve relationships. 

You consistently express discontentment with aspects of life, like your career, hobbies, or living situation, without actively exploring alternative paths, pursuing passions, or seeking guidance. 

Just imagine what could be different for you in life if you took all the time, energy & effort you applied to complaining, lamenting, griping, and being discontent and instead focused on seeking solutions. 

What more could be possible for you? 

Solutions > Complains

This is how you create & live a life you love. 

If you want to learn how to create and live a life you love, book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation here.

LHW Employees can book a remote session here.

Or an in-person coaching session, here.

“This is hard.”

You think finding a good work/life balance is hard.

Being a mom or stepmom is hard. 

Being authentically you is hard. 

Your job is hard. 

Having downtime/ enjoying your time off is hard. 

When you think things are hard, they indeed are. 

Let’s take a hard work/life balance. 

You struggle with boundaries leading to overworking. 

You don’t sleep well, exercise, or have fun (fun- what’s that?) 

Worried about the quality of work, you don’t delegate. 

You don’t want to disappoint others, so you over-commit.

You have a hard time disconnecting from work, constantly checking emails so you can “keep an eye on things.” 

You feel guilt & shame because you can’t figure out how to have a good work/life balance. Your increased frustration & irritability takes a toll on your relationship with friends & family. 

All of this causes even more stress, dissatisfaction, and imbalance in your life. 

Instead, think, “This is easy.” And simply ask (& answer for) yourself, “How could I make this easier?” 

See what comes up. Perhaps you will see that you can 

Set & hold boundaries. 

Prioritize sleep, exercise & fun. 

Delegate to others & monitor progress to ensure good quality work. 

Say no, limiting your commitments. 

Take email access off your phone, letting work be on work time only.

Separating work & life helps you have better relationships and enjoy your time with loved ones, leading to more fulfillment, less stress & greater well-being. 

The next time you think something is hard, ask yourself, “How could I make this easier?” 

This is how you create & live a life you love. 

If you would like support to make things easier, I can help you. The first step is to book a consultation to discuss what you’d like & I’ll share exactly how I can help you. Click here to book a LHW in-person coaching session or here for a LHW remote coaching session.

Do you find yourself putting off tough conversations with employees? 

You think: I should have that conversation, but I’ll do it later. 

I don’t want to do it now; it will be awkward. 

I know it’s part of my job, but I wish it didn’t have to be me. 

You continue to procrastinate & avoid it. 

You feel increasingly worried and anxious.

You begin to avoid that person, walking the long way to the cafeteria so you have less chance of running into them. 

Instead, try this: 

What is the emotion you would feel if you had the conversation? 

Uncomfortable because you have to have this difficult conversation in the first place. 

Frustrated, especially if you’ve had this conversation before. 

Disappointed that they haven’t met your expectations. 

Worried that you, as their boss, are not doing a good job. 

Resentment that their actions might be inconveniencing your team or your facility.

Figure out what emotion would be there for you by finishing this sentence, 

“If I had this conversation with them, I would feel ___.” 

THEN, see that you won’t die from that feeling.

Be willing to feel that emotion. 

It’s OK to feel frustrated, disappointed, worried, or resentful. 

Those emotions won’t kill you. 

And you can also have a calm, curious, professional conversation with someone about their actions or performance. 

The conversation will become easier when you’re willing to face the emotions you are avoiding.