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Where do you focus your time and attention in your relationships? Are you looking for the good, or are you looking for the bad? 

Either way, you’ll find it. 

Maybe he doesn’t buy you flowers, but he holds the door open for you. 
Maybe he doesn’t cook, but he drops the kids off at school. 
Maybe he leaves his dirty socks on the floor, but he helps bring in the groceries (and maybe only when you ask, but he does it). 

Are you focusing on not having flowers, always cooking, the dirty socks, or his kindness in holding the door open, dropping the kids off, and carrying in the groceries? 

You can create better experiences in your relationship by looking for the good, savoring, and then absorbing the experience into your core. Creating more positive neural pathways helps you more easily come back to the positive next time. (It’s like getting on a chairlift. The more empty chairs available, the faster you get to the summit. The more positive neural pathways available, the faster you get to the good.)

“I can’t expect somebody to love me more than me. You know, if you don’t like being with you, what the hell makes you think somebody else wants to be with you? We expect other people to love us more than we love ourselves. We expect other people to do the work for us. I thought it was his job to make me feel a certain way.”

Jada Pinkett Smith on Red Table Talk about her relationship with Will Smith

I’ve been stressing about the half marathon that’s in 3 weeks for a few days now b/c I am not prepared. 

And today I walked into the kitchen from the bedroom & told Scott: I don’t want to go to the party tomorrow. 

S: “Wait, what?! You were just talking about how you love to go out & you miss people, and you want to go out more.”

Me: “Yep, but I feel crappy, and I’m addicted to gummy bears, and I don’t want to have to put on a dress and go out.”

S: “???!!” 

Then I realized: I have goals in mind, and then I set ridiculous goals, and then I feel overwhelmed, and I just check out. 

Not only do I not reach the goals, but then I don’t do anything at all. 

I need to set smaller, more realistic goals that I can achieve more consistently. 

So, that’s what I’m doing now.  

I am starting tonight. We’re going for a walk. And I’ll be thinking about the half marathon I’m supposed to run in 3 weeks… and how I’d rather just ride my bike. 🙄🤣

What’s your best marriage advice? 

What’s the “secret” to a long and happy marriage? 

Tell me both what you’ve heard and what you live by, what you know to be true. 

I have a great marriage, but it hasn’t always been this way. The “secret” for our happy marriage is in my confidence and the security that he will always be there. He tells me he loves me, and he wants me, just as I am… and I choose to believe him.

I highly recommend checking out this article: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html

I’ve messaged/ spoken to several friends today who say this article resonates with them. Please know I’m here to talk- as a friend or a coach. You are not alone. So many people feel this right now. 💕

Do you ever think about what you would tell your younger self? 

Take a second and think of 2 or 3 things you could tell your younger self. 

I would tell my younger self to pan out and look at the bigger picture. 
Money isn’t everything, and it does not buy you happiness. 
Spend more time being grateful than complaining. 
You got to where you are because of your choices, no one else’s.
All of your answers and everything you need are within you- right there in your heart, not out here in the rest of the world. 

Now, let’s flip this around. 
What might your older self tell your now self? 

I imagine: 
To pan out and look at the bigger picture. 
Money isn’t everything, and it does not buy you happiness. 
Spend more time being grateful rather than complaining. 
You got to where you are because of your choices, no one else’s. 
All of your answers and everything you need are within you- right there in your heart, not out here in the rest of the world.

Funny how that works. 💕

Truth (and that’s all I have to say about that).

Are you grappling with a difficult decision? 

Decisions are easier when we have INFORMATION- both about the decision to make and about ourselves. 

Do you have all the information that’s available to you? 
If not, gather it. 

Then consider yourself: 
1. What’s most important to you about this decision? 
2. What worries you the most? 
Look to your future and consider- 3. How will this decision impact you in the future? 4. Who do you want to be, and how does this fit your future vision? 
5. What’s most important to you in the whole of your life, and how does this decision fit?

Remember, you get to choose how you show up to your life- no matter what is going on around you. 
And that is a beautiful thing.

You know how you get your best ideas when you’re in the shower? 

I hear my voice of wisdom when I’m walking, running, road biking, or whatever other mundane and repetitive activity. 

Voice of wisdom, intuition, divine guidance, whatever you call it- hearing it is critical. 

If you feel like you’re stuck, get out there and MOVE YOUR BODY. Moving your body outside is ideal. Moving your body outside in the sunshine is even better. 

Just get moving and pay some attention so you can hear your voice of wisdom, too.

Marie Forleo: “It’s as though my soul recalibrated once I found the courage to speak my truth. I… did everything I could to discover what it takes to live a truly magnificent life. I read tons of books, went to countless seminars, and hired the best coaches I could find. My life, which was never that bad to begin with, completely transformed into something utterly magical. Out of a willingness to really investigate how I was operating in my life and see my part in things, all the personal and professional success that had eluded me for so long finally clicked into place.” 

See her part in all things. 

Do you see your part in all things?  There are always choices. You get to choose who to be and how you show up to your life.