How often do you find yourself thinking or saying, “I don’t know,” or “I’m not sure”?
Beware! It’s just a ploy from your brain to keep you in inaction, preventing you from moving toward your goal.
For example, regarding your career, you might think:
• I don’t know if this is what I want to do.
• I don’t know what I would do differently.
• I don’t know what else I even could do.
We could substitute “I’m not sure” for any of those examples, but I’ll give you a few more.
• I’m not sure this is for me.
• I’m not sure this is the right thing.
• I’m not sure how I wound up here.
• I’m not sure if I want to make a change.
• I’m not even sure where to start.
You feel confused or stuck, so there you sit in your continued confusion, continued stuckness.
Wash, rinse, repeat this negative cycle, or maybe you even make a few moves, some small changes, but then you get stuck &/or confused again & you’re back in the negative cycle.
Instead of believing that you don’t know, try answering these questions for yourself,
• “But what if I did know?”
• “What do I think my answer would be?”
• “What could my answer be?”
• “What do I think my answer is?”
Take the pressure off, landing on the “exact right answer right now,”
Just explore & see what comes up for you.
When I was leaving my nursing supervisor position, every day, I walked past my friend’s office & told her about a new job idea, something different every day. (I was still figuring out what I wanted to do next, and staying in “I don’t know/ I’m not sure” would never lead to a new career.)
• teaching paddle boarding
• driving people over Going to the Sun Road
• opening a flower shop
• opening a bookstore
• managing AirBnBs
• concierge (medical or personal)
• leading all women’s tour groups
It was so much fun.
It made me more creative.
I brainstormed and paid attention to see how these ideas felt to determine if any truly interested me.
Usually, we laughed at the ridiculousness, but a few actually stuck.
Don’t believe the hype!!
Be onto your brain & the BS it’s offering you.
Don’t believe that you don’t know.
You DO know.
You just need to look around a bit, don’t judge yourself, create safety, and be willing to get creative (and ridiculous, if that’s what it takes) to see what comes up for you.
If you’d like help to get unstuck to break the cycle of unknowing, I can help; I’ve truly done this work myself. Believe me– I have been there and can help you, too.
Do I have all of the answers at all times? For sure, no.
But I have created a safe & nonjudgemental environment within myself.
And I do know how to get unstuck.
I know how to conjure up the courage to try new things.
I know where to focus my brain,
how to find evidence of beliefs to support me,
and how to move past my self-limiting beliefs.
If you’d like help, have a little courage, too, to reach out & message me or just go ahead and book a consult. I know the first step isn’t always easy, but if this resonates with you, I assure you that you are in the right place, and I can help you. I’ll teach you some things, we’ll coach & we will get there together.
And this is exactly how you create & live a life you love.
Experiment: schedule your beach activities & try them one at a time.
Data: Take notes on the activity you participated in, the level of joy you/ your family experienced, and how you felt.
Analyze: Which activities netted the best results? What worked, what didn’t work, and what do you want to do differently?
Adjust based on your analysis. If necessary, create a new hypothesis to explore and repeat the process.
Other examples:
Discover new local restaurants to enjoy during the summer.
Develop your photography skills and capture the essence of summer.
Embrace the spirit of adventure and push your boundaries with outdoor activities.
You can apply this to literally anything, and it’s so easy to do when it’s an experiment of one- just you.
If you’d like to learn more about How to Get the Most Out of the Rest of Summer (& other applications for the scientific process in your life), join me on Wednesday, July 26, 2023, at 11 AM MT for my next free Masterclass. Registration is required; you can do so here.
What exactly is it that has you feeling overwhelmed?
Be specific.
Then check in- is it true?
(Often, that alone will be sufficient when you see it’s not true.)
Try this: I don’t have enough time.
Take a step back & take a look at it; get specific & objective. What does not enough time mean? How much time do you need? What, specifically, do you need time for? How much time do you think that will take? How much time do you actually have? Are you using that time to the best of your ability? Is there somewhere you “wring out” more time? Can you batch things? Is everything on your list a priority? Is there someone you can delegate to? How might you be able to create more time?
When you’re able to get more specific & objective, you can more clearly see what you’re working with
And from there, you have more brain space to develop more creative solutions.
Be specific & break it down.
If you feel overwhelmed and struggle with time management, I can help; book a consultation now!
You feel frustrated & resent your boss; you think she’s power-tripping.
You want a better work-life balance. Lots less work/ lots more life, of- course.
You constantly try to figure out how you can work fewer hours AND get the bills paid.
You know you do a good job, but your brain is more likely to remind you of where you’re lacking than of your good work.
You have a vague sense of dissatisfaction & constantly feel like something is missing.
You aren’t happy, you aren’t even content & you lack motivation for everything you want to do (not just work, but at home, too).
You’re constantly exhausted & frankly, just over it.
I challenge you to seek out your unique strengths & talents and recognize what makes you you.
When you identify what is holding you back,
And you see where you are holding yourself back,
And you decide to step into who you truly are at your core,
And share that with the world–
You will have a greater sense of fulfillment.
You will build a stronger & more connected relationship with yourself & those whom you choose to share yourself with.
You will have more motivation & be energized.
You will have the capacity to find a better work-life balance.
You will create & live a life you love for you by you (and this does not mean at the exclusion of others).
How?
~ take proactive steps to improve your self-confidence & overcome your self-limiting beliefs ~ actively pursue opportunities to create a more fulfilling work environment or explore part-time options ~ engage in activities that bring you joy & fulfillment ~ have the courage to seek something different ~ be willing to take action, even when it’s uncomfortable
If you struggle with this or don’t know what to do or how to do it– I would be honored to support you. I have done this work myself & this is exactly what I help my clients with. Reach out. Let’s talk. Click here to take the first step & book your complimentary, no-obligation consultation.
As a reminder, for LHW employees, coaching is free! Click here to book your in-person coaching session or here for a remote coaching session.
“Good afternoon, thank you so much for coming. We have a couple of things to cover today so I’m going to try and move really quickly. To start off– WHY?! OK? Secondly is how come, how come. Uh-huh. And finally how dare you?”
Me, to my brain, every time she thinks she’s in charge.
Don’t forget you are in charge, not your brain.
True, it’s your brain’s job to keep you safe, but it’s YOUR job to see if the thoughts it offers serve you or not.
Are you afraid of running alone in a dark park late at night?
Clarity: Coaching helps you clarify your values, priorities, and aspirations, enabling you to make informed decisions aligned with your true desires.
Empowerment: Through coaching, you’ll develop self-awareness, self-confidence, and assertiveness, empowering you to set and enforce healthy boundaries, freeing you from people-pleasing tendencies.
Overcoming perfectionism: Coaching provides practical tools and strategies to challenge perfectionistic tendencies, helping you embrace progress over perfection and fostering self-acceptance.
Action-oriented mindset: Coaches support you in overcoming procrastination by breaking down goals into actionable steps, enhancing your time management skills, and fostering accountability.
Goal attainment: With coaching, you’ll set clear, measurable goals and receive guidance on creating effective action plans, increasing your likelihood of achieving personal and professional milestones.
Enhanced fulfillment: Coaching encourages you to explore and pursue a life you love, aligning your actions with your passions, values, and strengths, ultimately leading to increased fulfillment and happiness.
So that you can FEEL BETTER!! 💕💕 If you’d like support to feed better, too- reach out; I can help you.
Today I want to talk about a straightforward coaching concept with two parts.
Define it.
According to whom?
Let’s discuss.
You want to be more CONFIDENT.
What does confidence mean?
“A feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.”
According to whom?
You; it says right there- one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities.
So, you get to define confidence for yourself.
Let’s take another:
WORTHY– having adequate or great merit, character, or value.
Adequate or great merit, character, or value- according to whom?
Who gauges what adequate or great merit, character, or value is?
Who says this is adequate or great, but this is not?
Who is the authority?
[Hint: it’s you; you get to decide.]
How about one of my favorites, PERFECT, as we try to do with our beloved perfectionism?
What does perfect even mean? Let’s see.
“Having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.”
According to whom?
Who decides the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics of something (or someone)?
And even if someone does have an opinion on this, who says they are right? (Who died and made them king?)
OK, last one, ENOUGH.
Define: “as much or as many as required.”
That’s quite vague.
Enough of what?
How much is required?
And (you’ve got it now), according to whom?
It’s YOU; you get to decide for yourself.
You get to decide if you appreciate your own abilities or qualities.
You get to decide if you have adequate or great merit, character, or value.
You get to decide if something has all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; if it’s as good as it is possible to be.
You get to decide if something has as much or as many as required.
You even get to define what is required!
I invite you to figure this out for yourself.
Get clear. Define each of these for you.
See what you come up with.
Decide if you hit the mark or not.
Decide if it matters if you hit that mark or not,
And see what you can do differently to get there if that is indeed what you want.
Reach out for support.
Click here to take the first step & book your complimentary, no-obligation consultation.
As a reminder, for LHW employees, coaching is free! Click here to book your in-person coaching session or here for a remote coaching session.
If you’d like to learn about How to Get the Most Out of the Rest of Summer (& other applications for the scientific process in your life), join me on Wednesday, July 26, 2023, at 11 AM MT for my next free Masterclass. Registration is required; you can do so here.
