Category: empowerment

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jealousy

Jealousy often gets a bad rap. It’s usually seen as a negative emotion that breeds resentment and unhappiness. But what if we could flip the script on jealousy and view it as an indicator of our own desires and aspirations? Instead of letting envy fester, we can use it as a catalyst for personal and professional growth. Here’s how this unconventional take on jealousy could play out in your life.


Imagine you’re a nurse who feels jealous of a colleague who recently received a promotion to a managerial position. Instead of stewing in resentment, recognize that this jealousy is highlighting your own desire for career advancement. You want to be recognized for your hard work and dedication, too. Use this realization as motivation to seek out leadership training, take on more responsibilities, or speak with your supervisor about your career goals. By doing so, you can position yourself for future promotions and achieve the professional success you crave.


If you are a physician, you may feel envious of a fellow doctor who perfectly balances their demanding job with a vibrant personal life, including ample family time and engaging hobbies. This jealousy reveals your own yearning for a better work-life balance. Start by assessing your current schedule and identifying areas where you can delegate tasks or streamline processes. Prioritize self-care and set boundaries to ensure you have time for personal interests and family. By making these changes, you can enjoy a more fulfilling and balanced life.


Perhaps you’re a medical technician who feels jealous of another technician with specialized skills that lead to more interesting assignments and higher pay. This envy is simply your inner voice telling you that you want to develop your own expertise. Look for opportunities to attend workshops, earn certifications, or take advanced courses in your field. By enhancing your skills, you’ll open doors to exciting assignments and greater recognition.


As a healthcare assistant, you might envy a colleague attending a prestigious continuing education program or medical school. This jealousy points to your own aspirations for further education and career advancement. Research educational opportunities that align with your interests and goals, and take steps to apply for programs or scholarships. Investing in your education will pave the way for a brighter and more rewarding future.


Imagine you’re a junior doctor feeling jealous of an experienced doctor who has a strong rapport with patients and is often requested by name. This envy indicates your desire to build similar relationships with your patients. Focus on developing your communication skills and empathy. Take time to listen to your patients and understand their concerns. By doing so, you’ll build trust and rapport, becoming a beloved and respected doctor in your own right.


If you’re a healthcare researcher feeling envious of a peer who frequently publishes in high-impact journals and is invited to speak at conferences, this jealousy highlights your ambition for academic recognition. Channel this energy into your own research projects. Collaborate with colleagues, seek mentorship, and dedicate time to writing and submitting your work for publication. By committing to your research, you’ll gain recognition and make significant contributions to medical knowledge.

The key to transforming jealousy into action is to recognize it as a signal of your own desires. Once you’ve identified what you want, take proactive steps to achieve it.

  1. Assess: Reflect on what specifically triggers your jealousy. What does this person have that you want?
  2. Plan: Define what achieving this desire looks like for you. Set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals.
  3. Implement: Develop a plan to work towards your goals. This might include seeking additional training, networking, or making lifestyle changes.
  4. Commit: Remember that achieving your dreams takes time and effort. Stay committed to your goals, and be patient with yourself.

By turning jealousy into a driving force for positive change, you’ll not only make your dreams come true but also experience additional benefits:

You’ll feel more energized as you work towards your goals.
Your self-improvement will help you grow personally and professionally.
Achieving your desires will lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness.
Focusing on your own growth rather than comparing (and despairing) yourself with others can lead to healthier and more positive relationships.
You can inspire those around you to pursue their own dreams and aspirations.

Jealousy does not have to be a problem. Instead, you can view it as a powerful indicator of what you want in life. By recognizing and acting on these desires, you can transform envy into action and create a fulfilling and successful life.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

P.P.S. You can register for the next free Christine Seager Coaching Masterclass on How to Change Your Self-Concept by registering here.

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collaborate

Are you someone who would like to have a better relationship with someone than you do now? 

Perhaps it’s your direct reports, your teen, or your spouse. 

When they feel safe sharing openly with you, there will be less conflict, tension, and chaos and more connection, cooperation, confidence, and trust. Managing, parenting, and being in a relationship will stop feeling so hard, and you will experience more calm, peace, and joy. 

The first step is to notice when you are triggered. How does it feel in your body? For me, I feel tight and tense. It feels like my blood pressure is rising; maybe my hands are in fists. My heart rate is faster, and my heart is pounding. 

To calm your emotions, get curious. Take a deep breath & think to yourself, “I wonder what happened here.” 

When you’re calm, you can respond intentionally rather than react emotionally. 

When you’re calm, they will be more open to having a conversation with you rather than shutting down. 

Next, find a good time to talk to them and state what you see objectively. 

State the facts, just the facts, with no tone or judgment (which you can do now that you’re being curious). 

My favorite phrase is, “I notice… [state fact].” 

I.E., “I notice a vape pen in your backpack.” 

Or “I noticed you were 20 minutes late to work.” 

These words from you will help them stay open and not defensive because they are not anticipating being in ‘trouble,’ judgment, or anger. 

Next, validate to show understanding. When you normalize what they are feeling, they feel like you understand them, you get them, and they remember that you are on the same team. 

You will reflect back their feeling and acknowledge the situation. 

I.E., “It makes sense that you feel left out when all your friends vape.” 

Or, “It’s understandable that you were 20 minutes late when you discovered that your car door was frozen shut.” 

Important note: this does not mean you agree with or condone their behavior. You are merely validating their experience. 

Then, invite their solution. 

People have an overwhelming desire to do well. We want to have autonomy and figure things out on our own. As managers, we want to ensure they stay within organizational boundaries. As parents, we want to help them build problem-solving skills safely and with our guidance. 

You can do this by simply asking them, “What are you going to do?” 

Your kids might respond by saying they don’t know. You can help them unhinge their inner knowledge by following up with, “I know you are really smart; I bet you can figure this out.” Or you can ask, “What would you tell __ (state their friend’s name here) to do?” This helps separate them from the problem and helps them come up with creative solutions. 

Lastly, make sure they know you are available for support and guidance by simply offering, “I’m here if you’d like help.” 

When you communicate collaboratively, you will be amazed at how much better your relationships can be with less stress, worry, and anxiousness. 

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

P.P.S. You can register for the next free Christine Seager Coaching Masterclass on How to Change Your Self-Concept by registering here.

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stuck in a rut

If you’re someone who feels stuck in a rut, this one is for you. 

I was recently revisiting Gretchen Rubins’ book The Happiness Project. When I read, “I wasn’t depressed, and I wasn’t having a midlife crisis, but I was suffering from midlife malaise– a recurrent sense of discontent and almost a feeling of disbelief… Is this really it?” 

She went on, “… though at times I felt dissatisfied, that something was missing, I also never forgot how fortunately I was… I had everything I could possibly want– yet I was failing to appreciate it. Bogged down in petty complaints and passing crises, weary of struggling with my own nature… I wasn’t as happy as I could be, and my life wasn’t going to change unless I made it change.” 

This. This was me in 2018. I could NOT figure out what was missing from my life. 

It turns out it was me, and in time, I learned that:

~ I was not stuck; I had more control over my life than I thought. 

~ I was not appreciating what I had, instead of choosing to seek the good in my everyday life.

~ And I was not expanding that by taking a few seconds or even a minute to soak it all in– absorbing it into my core. 

So, if you are someone who feels stuck in a rut– what can you do differently? 

Start with the things listed above, but then also:

Switch things up by driving a different route to work, pick up a new activity (or rediscover an old one), and reach out to family or friends to connect with. 

You can meet new people and offer to meet someone for coffee, join a gym, or other group of like-minded people. 

You might like to start with a clean space, so declutter your home, workspace, or closet. 

Just try different things until you find the things you like to do. 

I recently signed up for Flathead Area Mountain Bike’s Women’s Clinics. My family was shocked and asked why I suddenly wanted to start mountain biking. My bike is 20 years old and I can probably count on two hands how many times I’ve mountain biked in those 20 years, but I wanted to do something different. I also thought I might like it better if I learned how to mountain bike properly. And, I’m in better shape than I have been; I now have more stamina. (I know what they mean when they say it’s time in the seat. They’re talking about building muscle, which takes time and consistency.) 

I’m loving it. It’s challenging mentally and physically. Am I still sometimes getting frustrated with what I can’t do? Sure, but I’m able to take it in stride. 

I recently also bought a 1000-piece puzzle. I seriously dislike that thing. I don’t understand it; it’s really hard; all the pieces and colors look the same. I really didn’t know what I was getting into when I bought it. And now I know- I will either not be buying another puzzle again, not buying one this hard, or at least knowing what I’m getting into if/ when I commit to one again.

If you feel stuck in a rut, decide to do something different and go after it. You will either love it or learn that you don’t, and you will no longer feel like you’re stuck in that rut. 

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

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The Solution to Overthinking

Overthinking is a way our brains keep us small, safe, and exactly where we are.

Let’s say you have a career decision to make. Should you stay in your current position or start a new job with a different company?

You don’t know the “right” answer because you don’t fully know what it will be like once you get there.

Will it be easier or harder?
Can you make the same amount of money you make now?
What will the people you work with be like?
What about your new boss?
What will the hours be (not what they say they will be)?
What sort of support will you have?
Will they deliver on their promises?

You can’t tell how this will work out for you until you get there, no matter how much research you do or what questions you ask.

Getting data is undoubtedly helpful, but no one can decide for you.

And you will never have a 100% guarantee, either way.

So, I suggest you simply DECIDE.

Ask yourself: if either way was the “right” decision, what do you WANT to do?

Then go & make that BE the right decision.

Go all in on that decision.

I’m Christine. I’m a RESULTS coach. This means I help my clients have, do, be, or achieve anything they want in life– because life is too short to be so miserable.

I have a few one-on-one coaching spots available, starting in April.

You can check out at my next free monthly masterclass, How to Create More Fun, on March 13. Registration is required; you can do so here.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

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People Pleasers Are Liars?!

I recently heard that people pleasers are liars, and at first, I was like, “What?! No!”

But after consideration, I can see how it’s true.

Let’s say your desired result is to lose weight.

Your sister visits and brings you a box of baked goods from a fantastic bakery near her.

She’s excited to share these treats with you, but you know these treats are not on your dietary plan and may hinder your progress in losing weight.

But you also don’t want to tell her no because, after all, she went through the trouble of buying and bringing them to you; she wants to make you happy, and you don’t want to make her upset.

What are your options?

If you say yes to her, you are saying no to yourself, to your goals & dreams.

And you are lying because your genuine desire is to lose weight, not to eat the treats. (I mean, let’s be real, you probably want to eat the treats AND lose weight, but that’s not how weight loss actually works.)

So, what to do?

First, decide how you want to show up to this.

Maybe you want to be kind and gracious.

Consider– what would someone loving, kind & gracious do?

They might say, “Thank you so much for this generous gift. I love you so much, and I’m touched that you thought of me. I’m sorry I didn’t share this previously, but I’m working towards losing weight. Treats like these are not on my food protocol. Would you like me to keep them for you or share them with our neighbor?”

You can be loving, kind & gracious, AND responsible for yourself, staying true to your weight loss goal.

And your sister can be responsible for herself– for her thoughts, feelings & actions, too.

This is how we create and live a life we love.

P.S. As a reminder, as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

P.P.S. You can get in early and register for the next free monthly Christine Seager Coaching Masterclass on How to Create More Fun by registering here.

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distraction

Are you someone who is easily distracted? If so, this one is for you. 

Being easily distracted can lead to frustration, feeling overwhelmed, anxiousness, or stress. 

If you even catch yourself being distracted in the first place, you might think: 

“What is wrong with me? Why can’t I stay focused?”

“I can’t ever get anything done.” 

“Why can’t I focus on just one thing like everyone else?” 

Or 

“It takes me forever & I’ll never catch up when I can’t get things completed.” 

You know staying focused will help you be more productive, save time, and achieve your goals, but how can you do that? 

Well, a few ways. 

First, mindset: 

“I can learn how to do this.” 

“I am in control of my attention.” 

“I can try a few different things until I find something that works.”

Or

“I am improving my productivity.” 

The strategy: 

  1. Notice what you’re doing that has you distracted. I.E., is your phone in your hand when you’re supposed to be getting ready for work? Or you’re talking to your family when you should have been out the door already? See if you can determine your thoughts just before you picked up your phone. 
  2. Repeat in your head what you are doing, what task you are completing. I.E., I’m getting dressed. Or I’m gathering my lunch. Or, I’m writing an article. One part of your brain can focus on the task & the other part is reminding your brain of what you’re focusing on. 
  3. You can set a timer. A metronome may help, too– the ticking sound can be a constant reminder to stay on task until the task is complete. 

It’s helpful to realize that being easily distracted is not a problem; it’s something you can figure out how to work with so you can stay better focused & achieve your goals. 

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rock star

When I went to my husband’s work Christmas party in December, 

I felt like a rock star & I can’t even tell you how fabulous that was.

I didn’t even really realize how much less stress & anxiety I was feeling until I was in the shower, getting ready. 

(Isn’t all of our best thinking done in the shower?)

I compared my feelings for this Christmas party to one I attended just a year ago.

I was a complete hot mess.

I felt inadequate, insecure, anxious, exposed, & had dread.

I had all the negative self-talk, 

100% of which was untrue, 

but I 100% believed it.

I didn’t have anything “good” to wear, my hair was a mess, & I felt fat. 

I tried to force myself to feel better while feeling like a complete sh*t-show on the inside. 

It didn’t work & instead, I had a meltdown.

After being fully dressed & 80% ready to go, I took off all my clothes to regroup & start over.

I even took another shower– sweaty & wanting to wash the tear stains from my face.

I was more than an hour late to that party.

This year, I Marco Polo’d with some girlfriends to get their input on my outfit.

I felt like I looked amazing. 

I got showered, dressed, & ready with zero drama.

I felt comfortable and confident.

I openly approached & initiated conversations with people.

I felt so good & grateful; words are inadequate to describe it accurately,

but I can feel it in my heart– like my heart aches with goodness & gratitude

for myself,

for my work on me,

for my coaches, 

& for the coaching I do with my clients, too.

So, what changed?

I got coached and learned 

• how to build self-trust

• how to manage my mind

• how to manage my negative emotions & create better feelings 

• how to have fun & so much less anxiety

And you can, too.

If you want to feel like a rock star,

If you want to be able to get ready for an event without a hot mess meltdown,

If you want friends who will give you Marco Polo outfit advice,

I can help you. 

You can join me for a free monthly webinar about How to Build Self-Trust on 1/31/24 at 11 AM MT. Register here. 

Or, you can book a consultation here. 

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

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what if

You think you can’t, but WHAT IF you could?

You might think, but I don’t know how.

You might think you don’t have the money.

Or the time,

Or you couldn’t possibly do that right now,

It’s too busy, and

There are other things you “should” do.

It feels impossible,

Or selfish,

Or too hard.

And you feel stuck,

Maybe lack,

Definitely frustrated.

You stay right there.

You don’t see how it could be possible.

You remain miserable in your own life.

Instead, consider:

What DO you know?

This is how you get started.

You see possibility.

If you see someone else do it,

Then, know it’s available for you to do, too.

How COULD you create more money?

How COULD you find the time?

How COULD you possibly do that right now?

How COULD you do that now, even when it’s busy?

Who says there are other things you “should” do & do you want to listen to them?

How could it be possible?

How is it selfish NOT to?

How could it be EASY to do?

How could you get UNstuck?

How could there be plenty?

What DO you know?

Start there, 

See possibility, 

Then, decide how you want to move forward, 

In creating and LIVING a life you love.

If you want to be EMPOWERED to create amazing results in your life, 

If you want to learn how to create a clear, specific, actionable & repeatable plan, 

If you want to learn how to implement (even when it’s uncomfortable), 

Book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation where you can tell me what results you would love to create, and I will tell you how I can help.

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I don’t know; I’m not sure

How often do you find yourself thinking or saying, “I don’t know,” or “I’m not sure”?

Beware! It’s just a ploy from your brain to keep you in inaction, preventing you from moving toward your goal. 

For example, regarding your career, you might think: 

• I don’t know if this is what I want to do. 

• I don’t know what I would do differently. 

• I don’t know what else I even could do. 

We could substitute “I’m not sure” for any of those examples, but I’ll give you a few more. 

• I’m not sure this is for me. 

• I’m not sure this is the right thing. 

• I’m not sure how I wound up here. 

• I’m not sure if I want to make a change. 

• I’m not even sure where to start. 

You feel confused or stuck, so there you sit in your continued confusion, continued stuckness.

Wash, rinse, repeat this negative cycle, or maybe you even make a few moves, some small changes, but then you get stuck &/or confused again & you’re back in the negative cycle. 

Instead of believing that you don’t know, try answering these questions for yourself,

• “But what if I did know?”

• “What do I think my answer would be?” 

• “What could my answer be?” 

• “What do I think my answer is?” 

Take the pressure off, landing on the “exact right answer right now,”

Just explore & see what comes up for you. 

When I was leaving my nursing supervisor position, every day, I walked past my friend’s office & told her about a new job idea, something different every day. (I was still figuring out what I wanted to do next, and staying in “I don’t know/ I’m not sure” would never lead to a new career.) 

• teaching paddle boarding

• driving people over Going to the Sun Road

• opening a flower shop

• opening a bookstore

• managing AirBnBs

• concierge (medical or personal) 

• leading all women’s tour groups 

It was so much fun.

It made me more creative. 

I brainstormed and paid attention to see how these ideas felt to determine if any truly interested me. 

Usually, we laughed at the ridiculousness, but a few actually stuck. 

Don’t believe the hype!!

Be onto your brain & the BS it’s offering you. 

Don’t believe that you don’t know.

You DO know. 

You just need to look around a bit, don’t judge yourself, create safety, and be willing to get creative (and ridiculous, if that’s what it takes) to see what comes up for you. 

If you’d like help to get unstuck to break the cycle of unknowing, I can help; I’ve truly done this work myself. Believe me– I have been there and can help you, too. 

Do I have all of the answers at all times? For sure, no. 

But I have created a safe & nonjudgemental environment within myself. 

And I do know how to get unstuck. 

I know how to conjure up the courage to try new things. 

I know where to focus my brain,

how to find evidence of beliefs to support me, 

and how to move past my self-limiting beliefs.

If you’d like help, have a little courage, too, to reach out & message me or just go ahead and book a consult. I know the first step isn’t always easy, but if this resonates with you, I assure you that you are in the right place, and I can help you. I’ll teach you some things, we’ll coach & we will get there together.

And this is exactly how you create & live a life you love.

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a study of one

You can do a study of one. 

Just you. 

And you can apply the scientific process to yourself. 

What is the goal? 

Gather information. 

Form a hypothesis.

Test with an experiment.

What are the results? 

Analyze the results- what worked, what didn’t, and what would you like to do differently?

State your conclusion. 

For example, 

Goal: get the most out of the rest of summer. 

Cool! 

How might you like to do that? What is your hypothesis? 

Hypothesis: try different beach activities– swimming, reading, picnicking, beach games, fishing. 

Experiment: schedule your beach activities & try them one at a time. 

Data: Take notes on the activity you participated in, the level of joy you/ your family experienced, and how you felt. 

Analyze: Which activities netted the best results? What worked, what didn’t work, and what do you want to do differently? 

Adjust based on your analysis. If necessary, create a new hypothesis to explore and repeat the process. 

Other examples: 

Discover new local restaurants to enjoy during the summer.

Develop your photography skills and capture the essence of summer.

Embrace the spirit of adventure and push your boundaries with outdoor activities.

You can apply this to literally anything, and it’s so easy to do when it’s an experiment of one- just you. 

If you’d like to learn more about How to Get the Most Out of the Rest of Summer (& other applications for the scientific process in your life), join me on Wednesday, July 26, 2023, at 11 AM MT for my next free Masterclass. Registration is required; you can do so here.