a different perspective of envy

What is your definition of envy? 

What if envy is just an indication someone else has something that you want, too, like a signpost? 

You can just notice it– oh, isn’t that interesting? I feel envious of her. She must have something that I want. What is it that she has that I want, too?

What is that signpost pointing to? 

You can also look to see where that envy stems from. 

Why do you feel envy?

Where might you be lacking or feeling inadequate? 

And is it true? 

Try to remove the personal aspect, or at least don’t use it against yourself. 

What did they do to get it? 

Where can you take what they did & apply it to you? 

Use it to see possibility– if they have/did it, you can have/do it, too. 

You don’t have to be upset or feel bad for how you feel– all feelings are welcome– but you get to decide what you want to DO about it. 

I suggest you take a look, get curious & see how you can break it down, and get some of that for you, too. 

Are you feeling envious lately? 

I can help you embrace envy as a signpost pointing to your desires, discover what you truly want, explore where the envy stems from, and use it as an opportunity for personal growth. 

Let’s break it down together and find ways to create & live a life you love.

The first step is to book a consultation by clicking here.

Logan Health Whitefish employees can book in-person coaching here.

Or a remote coaching session (more availability) here.

Next FREE Masterclass: Should Thinking
Tuesday, September 26 at 11 AM MT

Do you have thoughts like these? She shouldn’t be here if she’s sick. He should be more careful. I shouldn’t be further along by now. It shouldn’t be this hard for me. The insurance should cover this. The line shouldn’t be so long. This shouldn’t cost so much. 

On Tuesday, September 26th, 2023, at 11 AM MT, I’m sharing the most common shoulds I’ve struggled with, where my clients often apply this work, and how you can eliminate shoulds from your thought process so you can feel better and live a life you love.

Registration is required. You can do so here

complaints vs. solutions

How much time, energy & effort are you spending complaining about a situation rather than coming up with solutions? 

You complain that Sally at work keeps coming into your office to chat rather than discussing an appropriate time to interrupt you. 

You vent about your spouse to your girlfriends rather than having an open and candid conversation with your spouse. 

You complain about the recent hike in property taxes, how little everyone is paid, and the gas price rather than finding creative ways to budget, save, or create additional income. 

You complain about your GI bloat, your back pain, or your fingernail sensitivity rather than taking steps to consult professionals, research treatment options, or adopt healthy habits. 

You complain about time without implementing strategies like practicing constraint, delegating, or setting boundaries to optimize productivity. 

You lament about incomplete tasks or missed deadlines without developing effective time management techniques or seeing accountability. 

You complain about stagnant growth or feeling stuck without seeking opportunities for growth, learning, or change. 

You grumble about environmental problems like pollution, waste, or climate change without participating in advocacy, sustainable practices, or community initiatives. 

You engage in griping about your family rather than exploring effective communication strategies or seeing routes to improve relationships. 

You consistently express discontentment with aspects of life, like your career, hobbies, or living situation, without actively exploring alternative paths, pursuing passions, or seeking guidance. 

Just imagine what could be different for you in life if you took all the time, energy & effort you applied to complaining, lamenting, griping, and being discontent and instead focused on seeking solutions. 

What more could be possible for you? 

Solutions > Complains

This is how you create & live a life you love. 

If you want to learn how to create and live a life you love, book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation here.


LHW Employees can book a remote session here.

Or an in-person coaching session, here.

hard vs. easy(er)

“This is hard.”

You think finding a good work/life balance is hard.

Being a mom or stepmom is hard. 

Being authentically you is hard. 

Your job is hard. 

Having downtime/ enjoying your time off is hard. 

When you think things are hard, they indeed are. 

Let’s take a hard work/life balance. 

You struggle with boundaries leading to overworking. 

You don’t sleep well, exercise, or have fun (fun- what’s that?) 

Worried about the quality of work, you don’t delegate. 

You don’t want to disappoint others, so you over-commit.

You have a hard time disconnecting from work, constantly checking emails so you can “keep an eye on things.” 

You feel guilt & shame because you can’t figure out how to have a good work/life balance. Your increased frustration & irritability takes a toll on your relationship with friends & family. 

All of this causes even more stress, dissatisfaction, and imbalance in your life. 

Instead, think, “This is easy.” And simply ask (& answer for) yourself, “How could I make this easier?” 

See what comes up. Perhaps you will see that you can 

Set & hold boundaries. 

Prioritize sleep, exercise & fun. 

Delegate to others & monitor progress to ensure good quality work. 

Say no, limiting your commitments. 

Take email access off your phone, letting work be on work time only.

Separating work & life helps you have better relationships and enjoy your time with loved ones, leading to more fulfillment, less stress & greater well-being. 

The next time you think something is hard, ask yourself, “How could I make this easier?” 

This is how you create & live a life you love. 

If you would like support to make things easier, I can help you. The first step is to book a consultation to discuss what you’d like & I’ll share exactly how I can help you. Click here to book a LHW in-person coaching session or here for a LHW remote coaching session.

I don’t know; I’m not sure

How often do you find yourself thinking or saying, “I don’t know,” or “I’m not sure”?

Beware! It’s just a ploy from your brain to keep you in inaction, preventing you from moving toward your goal. 

For example, regarding your career, you might think: 

• I don’t know if this is what I want to do. 

• I don’t know what I would do differently. 

• I don’t know what else I even could do. 

We could substitute “I’m not sure” for any of those examples, but I’ll give you a few more. 

• I’m not sure this is for me. 

• I’m not sure this is the right thing. 

• I’m not sure how I wound up here. 

• I’m not sure if I want to make a change. 

• I’m not even sure where to start. 

You feel confused or stuck, so there you sit in your continued confusion, continued stuckness.

Wash, rinse, repeat this negative cycle, or maybe you even make a few moves, some small changes, but then you get stuck &/or confused again & you’re back in the negative cycle. 

Instead of believing that you don’t know, try answering these questions for yourself,

• “But what if I did know?”

• “What do I think my answer would be?” 

• “What could my answer be?” 

• “What do I think my answer is?” 

Take the pressure off, landing on the “exact right answer right now,”

Just explore & see what comes up for you. 

When I was leaving my nursing supervisor position, every day, I walked past my friend’s office & told her about a new job idea, something different every day. (I was still figuring out what I wanted to do next, and staying in “I don’t know/ I’m not sure” would never lead to a new career.) 

• teaching paddle boarding

• driving people over Going to the Sun Road

• opening a flower shop

• opening a bookstore

• managing AirBnBs

• concierge (medical or personal) 

• leading all women’s tour groups 

It was so much fun.

It made me more creative. 

I brainstormed and paid attention to see how these ideas felt to determine if any truly interested me. 

Usually, we laughed at the ridiculousness, but a few actually stuck. 

Don’t believe the hype!!

Be onto your brain & the BS it’s offering you. 

Don’t believe that you don’t know.

You DO know. 

You just need to look around a bit, don’t judge yourself, create safety, and be willing to get creative (and ridiculous, if that’s what it takes) to see what comes up for you. 

If you’d like help to get unstuck to break the cycle of unknowing, I can help; I’ve truly done this work myself. Believe me– I have been there and can help you, too. 

Do I have all of the answers at all times? For sure, no. 

But I have created a safe & nonjudgemental environment within myself. 

And I do know how to get unstuck. 

I know how to conjure up the courage to try new things. 

I know where to focus my brain,

how to find evidence of beliefs to support me, 

and how to move past my self-limiting beliefs.

If you’d like help, have a little courage, too, to reach out & message me or just go ahead and book a consult. I know the first step isn’t always easy, but if this resonates with you, I assure you that you are in the right place, and I can help you. I’ll teach you some things, we’ll coach & we will get there together.

And this is exactly how you create & live a life you love.

a study of one

You can do a study of one. 

Just you. 

And you can apply the scientific process to yourself. 

What is the goal? 

Gather information. 

Form a hypothesis.

Test with an experiment.

What are the results? 

Analyze the results- what worked, what didn’t, and what would you like to do differently?

State your conclusion. 

For example, 

Goal: get the most out of the rest of summer. 

Cool! 

How might you like to do that? What is your hypothesis? 

Hypothesis: try different beach activities– swimming, reading, picnicking, beach games, fishing. 

Experiment: schedule your beach activities & try them one at a time. 

Data: Take notes on the activity you participated in, the level of joy you/ your family experienced, and how you felt. 

Analyze: Which activities netted the best results? What worked, what didn’t work, and what do you want to do differently? 

Adjust based on your analysis. If necessary, create a new hypothesis to explore and repeat the process. 

Other examples: 

Discover new local restaurants to enjoy during the summer.

Develop your photography skills and capture the essence of summer.

Embrace the spirit of adventure and push your boundaries with outdoor activities.

You can apply this to literally anything, and it’s so easy to do when it’s an experiment of one- just you. 

If you’d like to learn more about How to Get the Most Out of the Rest of Summer (& other applications for the scientific process in your life), join me on Wednesday, July 26, 2023, at 11 AM MT for my next free Masterclass. Registration is required; you can do so here.

the cure for overwhelm

Vagueness leads to overwhelm.

And the cure for overwhelm is specificity.

What exactly is it that has you feeling overwhelmed?

Be specific.

Then check in- is it true?

(Often, that alone will be sufficient when you see it’s not true.)

Try this:
I don’t have enough time.

Take a step back & take a look at it; get specific & objective.
What does not enough time mean?
How much time do you need?
What, specifically, do you need time for?
How much time do you think that will take?
How much time do you actually have?
Are you using that time to the best of your ability?
Is there somewhere you “wring out” more time?
Can you batch things?
Is everything on your list a priority?
Is there someone you can delegate to?
How might you be able to create more time?

When you’re able to get more specific & objective,
you can more clearly see what you’re working with

And from there, you have more brain space to develop more creative solutions.

Be specific & break it down.

If you feel overwhelmed and struggle with time management, I can help; book a consultation now!

Logan Health Whitefish Employees, book an in-person coaching session here; or a remote coaching session (via phone or Zoom) here.

procrastination

Do you find yourself putting off tough conversations with employees? 

You think: I should have that conversation, but I’ll do it later. 

I don’t want to do it now; it will be awkward. 

I know it’s part of my job, but I wish it didn’t have to be me. 

You continue to procrastinate & avoid it. 

You feel increasingly worried and anxious.

You begin to avoid that person, walking the long way to the cafeteria so you have less chance of running into them. 

Instead, try this: 

What is the emotion you would feel if you had the conversation? 

Uncomfortable because you have to have this difficult conversation in the first place. 

Frustrated, especially if you’ve had this conversation before. 

Disappointed that they haven’t met your expectations. 

Worried that you, as their boss, are not doing a good job. 

Resentment that their actions might be inconveniencing your team or your facility.

Figure out what emotion would be there for you by finishing this sentence, 

“If I had this conversation with them, I would feel ___.” 

THEN, see that you won’t die from that feeling.

Be willing to feel that emotion. 

It’s OK to feel frustrated, disappointed, worried, or resentful. 

Those emotions won’t kill you. 

And you can also have a calm, curious, professional conversation with someone about their actions or performance. 

The conversation will become easier when you’re willing to face the emotions you are avoiding.

self-doubt

Do you feel inadequate and full of self-doubt? 

You feel frustrated & resent your boss; you think she’s power-tripping. 

You want a better work-life balance. Lots less work/ lots more life, of- course. 

You constantly try to figure out how you can work fewer hours AND get the bills paid. 

You know you do a good job, but your brain is more likely to remind you of where you’re lacking than of your good work. 

You have a vague sense of dissatisfaction & constantly feel like something is missing. 

You aren’t happy, you aren’t even content & you lack motivation for everything you want to do (not just work, but at home, too). 

You’re constantly exhausted & frankly, just over it. 

I challenge you to seek out your unique strengths & talents and recognize what makes you you. 

When you identify what is holding you back,

And you see where you are holding yourself back,

And you decide to step into who you truly are at your core,

And share that with the world–

You will have a greater sense of fulfillment. 

You will build a stronger & more connected relationship with yourself & those whom you choose to share yourself with. 

You will have more motivation & be energized. 

You will have the capacity to find a better work-life balance. 

You will create & live a life you love for you by you (and this does not mean at the exclusion of others). 

How? 

~ take proactive steps to improve your self-confidence & overcome your self-limiting beliefs
~ actively pursue opportunities to create a more fulfilling work environment or explore part-time options
~ engage in activities that bring you joy & fulfillment
~ have the courage to seek something different 
~ be willing to take action, even when it’s uncomfortable 

If you struggle with this or don’t know what to do or how to do it– I would be honored to support you. I have done this work myself & this is exactly what I help my clients with. Reach out. Let’s talk. Click here to take the first step & book your complimentary, no-obligation consultation.

As a reminder, for LHW employees, coaching is free! Click here to book your in-person coaching session or here for a remote coaching session.

co-sign

Are you someone who needs others to co-sign on your ideas?

You’re afraid of being judged, criticized, or doing it “wrong.”

This might look like:

You want to write a book but struggle to start writing or sharing this dream with others.

You constantly seek validation from fellow writers & online writing communities.

You do all the research to ensure your idea is worth pursuing and that you know exactly how to do it.

You don’t trust your own creativity & you rely on external validation before taking any concrete steps toward writing. 

Perhaps you want to switch careers and pursue your desire to become a wedding planner.

You constantly seek validation from your friends & family that this is a good idea. 

You don’t attend workshops or start marketing your business until everyone else is onboard, too.

You struggle to trust your own talent & abilities without constant reassurance from others.

You spend time talking to everyone else rather than 

Believing in your ideas, 

Being proactive in your decision-making, 

Taking empowered action, 

(Even if others are skeptical), 

And developing the self-confidence 

To make decisions based on your desires and values, 

Trusting your own judgment,

Embracing your individuality, 

And creating & living a life you love. 

You don’t need others to opt in, co-sign, or agree with what you are doing. 

You only need to believe in yourself, 

Recognizing your own enoughness, 

Just as you are. 

If you’d like help to recognize your own enoughness, I can help.

Click here to take the first step & book your complimentary, no-obligation consultation.

As a reminder, for LHW employees, coaching is free! Click here to book your in-person coaching session or here for a remote coaching session.

me to my brain

“Good afternoon, thank you so much for coming. We have a couple of things to cover today so I’m going to try and move really quickly. To start off– WHY?! OK? Secondly is how come, how come. Uh-huh. And finally how dare you?”

Me, to my brain, every time she thinks she’s in charge. 

Don’t forget you are in charge, not your brain. 

True, it’s your brain’s job to keep you safe, but it’s YOUR job to see if the thoughts it offers serve you or not. 

Are you afraid of running alone in a dark park late at night? 

Does that fear serve you? 

Yes, it keeps you safe. #NotRecommended

Do you feel afraid of public speaking? 

Does that fear serve you? 

Probably not; #YouWontAcutallyDie from public speaking. 

Remind yourself why you want to do it and do it. 

Are you procrastinating working out? 

Does that serve you? 

You might say yes, but only for the short term. 

Let’s try another way: how do you feel when you don’t work out? 

Guilty. 

How do you feel when you DO work out? 

Maybe it hurts a little at first, but then you feel amazing. 

Which reason (for doing or not doing it) do you like better? 

Obviously, the workout, suck it up for a bit, feel amazing later. 

How about this? 

Which one will create a life you love? 

See how easy that is? 

Don’t let your brain get away with BS. 

Ask it: Why? How come? And how dare you!