“So, if I coach with you, are you going to make me get up at 7:30 every morning because I like to sleep in.”
I laughed out loud; this was a new one for me.
I first explained that no, I was not going to “make” her do anything. All decisions are hers.
Second, whether she gets up at 7:30 AM or not is her choice. I just want her to be down with her decision.
Does she like how she shows up to life when she gets up at 7:30 AM? If so, great!
Does she like how she shows up to life when she gets up at 10 or 11 AM? If so, also great.
Maybe when she wakes up at 7:30, she is crabby and sleep-deprived. I don’t know; I’m not around her that early.
Regardless, what does SHE want? When does SHE feel best? What works for HER?
My favorite part of coaching is having my clients get to THEIR answers, reflecting back on what THEY want, and then supporting them to be solid on whatever that is.
If you are not sure about the statement, “You’ve got what it takes.”- reach out. If you know there is something for you to do, but you don’t know WHAT it is- reach out. If you know what that something is, but you don’t know HOW to do it- reach out. If you know how to do it, but you wish it could be EASIER- reach out. If you’d like support- reach out.
I’m Christine. I’m a life coach. I can help you ~ see that you do, in fact, have what it takes. ~ determine what you would love to do. ~ decide how to go about doing it. ~ make it all easier.
I’m great. I’d even say I’m fucking fantastic. I don’t feel this way every day, but today, I’ll take it. I am feelin’ it! I feel optimistic, excited- like I’m on the verge of something new. I think this could even be described as… wait for it… happy.
My husband is out, living his dream of serving those in need. I know he’s living his best life.
My step-daughter is about to get on a plane to see her mama, she just finished a semester at school, and she’s happy to be on vacation. I know she’s living her best life.
While they are both gone, I am going to clean out the house. I have three days alone & I am going to Tasmanian devil up this place- deep cleaning, organizing, and putting away. I’ll listen to podcasts, watch chick flicks or shows, and maybe get some sushi for dinner as a treat. I’m living my best life, too.
Old me (loving referred to as B.C. or the “BEFORE Christine”) would have been sad and lonely and mopped around the house. Christine 2.0 (the current version) sees that she has power and choice- she is choosing to stay upbeat. She’s taking advantage of this time and opportunity. She’s doing all the things SHE wants to do, and here’s the biggest key to this: since she started LISTENING TO and TRUSTING herself, she now knows what she does & doesn’t like to do; it’s so easy!
And listen, nothing outside of me has changed. The rest of my family is just doing their thing. It’s me- my perspective, my getting to know and trust myself, my ability to find happiness and peace within me.
Are you willing to be vulnerable? It’s scary, right?
You think:
What if they don’t like it? What if they don’t like me? What if the whole thing blows up? What if I blow the whole thing up? What if no one shows up?
So. much. pressure.
People struggle to show up as themselves.
Think about the people you follow online. What are you drawn to about them? Can you relate to their messy lives? If your friend showed up for coffee with messy hair, would you send them away? What if they showed up as the hot mess they really are? Of- course, you would say, “Hey, Friend, come on in. How are you? What’s going on? How’s life? Talk to me!”
It’s the fact that we show up FOR THEM that matters. We all have things we’re working on.
And when you do show up as your authentic self, some people will like you, and some people won’t, and that’s OK. This is part of the beauty of being human!
If they don’t like you, then they are not your people. Thank Goodness, not everyone is for everyone! Right?! How boring would life be if that was the case?
So, show up. Be there for your people. Someone out there needs you.
Do you have fun in your life? What do you do for fun?
Before- I would have said read, but I didn’t read a book purely for story or enjoyment for more than a year (and I am an avid reader). I would have said go outside, but in cold weather, I used to complain more than enjoy it. I would have said watching TV, but I relinquished my vote for whatever my family wanted to watch. I would have said spending time with friends, but I would forgo it when I thought I needed to stay home with my family instead. I would have said spend time at the lake, but I couldn’t get there until 6 or 7 PM because I spent my days at work.
Now- I read just for the joy of it. I take a minute to appreciate the beauty around me outside. I tap into what I want and state my request out loud. I do what I can to make friendships a priority. I rearranged my entire life to be able to spend more time at the beach.
Do you support your spouse, I mean REALLY support your spouse- to be the person they want to be?
At this point in our marriage, we hardly say no to each other. But it hasn’t always been that way.
I allowed fear and negativity to rule me for much of my life. When my husband started talking to me about his desire to go on medical mission trips, I naturally said no. I was scared and worried about… everything. There were many unknowns. Would he be OK? What would happen to us? Could I manage the house and property alone? Quite frankly, I felt he should just be home taking care of us. I felt guilty and selfish for feeling this way, making it all that much worse.
I put on my (fake) happy face for our daughter, co-workers, family, and friends, pretending to be the loving and supportive wife I wanted to be. (Only those who knew us best knew I was not happy about these trips.)
Through coaching, I learned how he is the hero in his own life. (By the way, we are all the heroes of our own lives.) I understood his desire to make a difference in the world by helping those who need it most, and that “just staying home with his family,” who have health, wellbeing, and everything we need, is not enough to satiate this drive in him.
I learned that I am OK, alone. I can have my own life, too; after all, I have my own goals and dreams and a desire to make a difference. I have what I need within me, including my own happiness, and with that, he is no longer solely responsible for making me feel good, or happy, or secure.
We have acceptance and freedom in our relationship, and with that comes an even deeper love. We really and earnestly support each other one hundred percent, and our entire relationship is at a whole different level.
I still worry about his safety, but I find peace in knowing he’s doing what he is meant to do in this life, and it feels good that I am supporting him to be the man he wants to be.
This is the photo of a happy girl. I was thrilled to be outside, on a random weekday, with a group of awesome women.
This life is by design. It wasn’t always easy, and it’s taken me a while to get here, but that’s OK because I still have the rest of my life to live a life I love.
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