What would it be like to actually obtain the goals you set?
Just like you, I was eager for a fresh start this January. It made our usual tradition of sending off lanterns from the New Year’s Eve bonfire with our wishes and goals for the coming year all the more relevant.
The end of a year and the start of a new one is a good time for reflection on where you’ve been and, more importantly, where you want to go.
It’s been a month since the new year. Did you make plans? Do you have goals you would love to bring to reality? How’s it going?
If you are looking for help taking your life from where you are to where you would rather be, reach out for a consult (it’s free).
I realized yesterday that I fully trust and believe everything. single. thing. my coach says to me.
When she says she believes in me, I believe her.
And when she says she believes in me, I see that I can believe in myself, too.
And as I grow in my belief in myself more consistently, she holds the space and believes in me enough for both of us.
My coach and I have enough in common that I know we have walked similar paths. They may look different on the outside, but I know she has had the same internal struggles I now have, too. She used to think she didn’t know quite what to do or how to do it, too.
Sure, she’s been doing this longer. Yes, she’s worked hard. Heck, she’s even worked hard to learn how to make work FUN, and not so hard. 😉
But I see, there is nothing she has that I don’t have, too.
When I see her results, I see what is possible for me, too.
When I see her do it, I know I can do it, too.
I can do this for you. If you’d like someone to hold space and believe in you, too, please reach out. I would love to work with you.
This past weekend, it was gray out, and I was feeling a little down. The long gray winters here in Montana sometimes get to me. On these days, I feel lonely and unmotivated. Sometimes I take the day off & I’m ok with doing nothing. But somedays I don’t want to feel that way, so I work to shift myself out of it.
How?
For me, I have two options to help myself feel better: movement & journalling.
I chose to journal.
First, I reminded myself of my words for the year (one is not enough, so I have five): ~ gratitude ~ sufficiency ~ fun ~ certainty ~ extraordinary (as in living an extraordinary life)
Then I asked myself a few questions: What am I grateful for? How do I have sufficiency in my life? What have I done that is fun recently, and how can I create more fun? What am I certain of, and how can I have more certainty? and my favorite question: What can I do to have an extraordinary life right now?
Sometimes I forget- I have all my own answers. I tend to ask everyone else. It seems so much easier that way, but you know what? “They” don’t have MY answers. And when I “poll my friends,” I put my power into their hands, increasing my dependency on others.
No, that is not necessary.
I know [with certainty- see what I did there? ;)] that I can help my clients have anything they want in their lives. Therefore, I know with certainty that I can help MYSELF have anything I want in my life, too.
I did not want to feel blue and wallow in that this weekend. I reminded myself of what I wanted more of, what I want to practice. I journaled about it, reminding myself of what I already have. I got myself to a place of service, moving from my head to my heart. And I felt so much better.
I’m reading The Source, by Dr. Tara Swart. She explains the science behind visualization and manifestation (spoiler alert: you do not just sit there, thinking about things, and then they happen- you still have to take action).
Through one of her exercise prompts, I remembered that I can do hard things. I AM kick-ass. A few of the things I’ve done: ~ moved across the country, ~ taken a solo cross-country road trip, ~ helped raise a child, ~ fought infertility, ~ saved my marriage, ~ quit a successful professional career, ~ followed my heart, ~ said yes, ~ said no, ~ gotten me into better alignment, ~ established a healthier relationship with alcohol (read: little to none).
Now, I continue to remember who the eff I am while I create the life I dream of. I remember that hells yes I can do this, because I can do hard things (see evidence above) AND ain’t nobody else going to do it for me!
Four things you can do to help shift yourself out of worry.
1. First, have an AWARENESS that thoughts, fear, worry, and story are totally normal. It’s your brain doing its job of keeping you safe. Nothing has gone wrong; it’s just part of the human experience.
2. Get to the TRUTH- what are the facts? No added story, no opinions, provable in the court of law. Answer the question for yourself: is it true? Is it happening right now? Are you in imminent danger?
3. SHIFT your focus to something else. I use the analogy of dangling a toy in front of a baby. The best way to get your baby not to touch a hot stove (for example) is to distract it with a toy that is more interesting than the stove. What are you more interested in focusing on your worry or how to be a loving family member? Your choice.
4. Lastly, the way to solidify this is to take ACTION. One small way you can demonstrate that which you would rather focus on.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say you have a new job. You are worried that you are not doing it well; you’re concerned that your co-workers don’t like you; you are not sure you can learn the job fast enough.
What are the facts? You have worked there for one week. No one said, “I don’t like you.” It takes time to become proficient at a new job, get to know the staff, and have a thorough understanding of your new role.
What are you more interested in- continuing to worry or being a well-respected professional? I imagine you chose to be a well-respected professional.
What might this look like; how could you demonstrate this? What is one small action you can take toward being a well-respected professional? Perhaps doing some additional research; maybe requesting a meeting with your boss to clarify a few points.
What would it be like to have answers, rather than spending your time, energy, and effort worrying?
Be aware, get to the truth, shift your focus, take action.
There have been several times in my life that I have sworn off worry. Yep, I went cold turkey. It was usually in the “heat of the moment” when I’m tired of the energy suck of worrying about- whatever! On more than one occasion, I thought to myself- what is today’s day? Then out loud, I would proclaim: Today, January 9, 2021, I will no longer worry! I’m done!
And it would work, and I would feel better… for about 5 minutes, until when the next worry would pop up.
Then I’d be all back in it- worrying and now additionally mad because I just swore off it!
Here’s the thing. Worrying doesn’t just go away. Our brains are wired to worry- it’s what has kept us alive this long.
Quick story, taken from Buddha’s Brain by Rick Hansen.
Picture this: it’s 100K years ago, back in caveman days. It’s time to go out hunting and gathering; time to eat. We’re walking in the woods, we round the corner, and then there’s this curvy thing on the ground. Our brains quickly process the visual information and categorize it as either a threat or an opportunity. The amygdala, or the primitive part of our brains, where our fight, flight, or freeze comes from- quickly determines that it’s a potential threat, so we stop walking. It’s vital to be safe while taking the time to process this information through a more sophisticated part of our brains- the pre-frontal cortex (PFC). The PFC is now further sorting it out: well, it’s not moving; everyone else has walked by and been OK. They haven’t said anything; I don’t hear a rattle, etc. The PFC determines that it is a stick and not a snake- we’re safe to pass by, so we continue.
Our brains are vigilant- constantly scanning for danger. Those of us who have survived to this day and age have brains that look for danger first. Today, we’re not going to get taken out by a wooly mammoth, so danger shows up as anxiety, fear, and worry.
These are totally normal reactions. And tomorrow, I’ll offer some solutions because trying to ‘swear off’ them alone does not work.
I see you. Actually, I miss you. While I love coaching, I miss serving the healthcare community, so I’m stepping up. I firmly believe you have to take care of yourself so that you can take care of others. Are you doing that? Do you feel like you CAN do that? There are so many demands.
You might feel like you will snap if you are asked to do one. more. thing. And you just want to do your job- providing excellent care for your patients. And then you are asked to do not just one, but FIVE more things. And you don’t have a choice. Your life, livelihood, bills, and family depend on you, and this is what you have to do. So you put your head down and get it done.
AND then COVID-19. ‘Nuf said.
I want to offer that there is another way.
Nothing, and I mean ZERO outside of you, has to change. Not your job, not the people around you, not your patients.
You will slow down to increase your work productivity. You will have enough energy at the end of your day for your family. You will have better relationships with your peers, the front office staff, the surgical crew, and everyone else in your life. Guilt-free.
How? Through coaching. Book a consult, and I’ll gladly show you.
Do you want to change your life? Call me. Seriously.
I don’t make promises I can’t keep. I am professional and honest. It’s a free call. You can have a better life. I have done it myself. You can, too. I can help you.
Do you see this photo below? It’s of me- no sh*t, genuinely happy, on a beach, for a long weekend, in September.
Y’all know I live in Montana, right? There’s no ocean here. I had to go GET it.
I went after my dreams and made them happen. It’s an ongoing process; I’m still making them happen, even now, in a global pandemic.
If I can do it, you can, too. If you’d like help, I’m here for you, and I will not give up on you.
You start by picking up the phone and calling me. Then we set a date & time to talk. You tell me what’s going on with you, where you are now and where you would like to be. I tell you, specifically, how I can help. We make a plan.
If you like how this sounds, and you want to continue to work together, we meet once a week via phone. We step towards your goal/s together, in small do-able steps.
We’ll probably talk about what usually holds you back and how to work with that. At some point, I’ll most certainly remind you of the bad-ass you truly are. And we’ll celebrate. (Celebrating is my favorite.)
Then, one day, in the not-so-distant future, you will see for yourself how easy life CAN be. Like one of my clients recently said, “Oh my gosh, my week was so good. EVERYTHING went well this week. I wasn’t as tired or stressed; everything just fell into place.”
