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What would it be like if the opposite was true?

Do you hate your job?
You feel angry, frustrated, stressed, and spend a lot of time talking about how much you hate it. You complain to your husband, best friend, and hairdresser, and you spend time trying to figure out what else you could do and how else you could make money.

But what if you decided to love it?

How COULD you love it?

Right now, with nothing outside of you changing.

Find just one thing that you like about it.

Every time your brain reminds you of how much you hate your job, remind your brain of this one reason why you like it.

Do you dislike your boss?

You don’t like how they run the office. You think you can do a better job. And you’re constantly just irritated by them. Your blood boils every time they give you another assignment, and you avoid asking for clarification because you don’t want to talk to them for another minute.

But what if you DID like them?

Even if just a little bit.

Start small.

What’s one tiny thing you appreciate about them?

It could sound like, “Well, at least they __,” finish the sentence.

Do you not like where you live?

(I admit, I grapple with this sometimes. I know I live in the “wrong” place, but thus far, I’ve chosen to stay here.)

The winters are so long and so cold and oh so gray. They seem to last forever, and you’ve forgotten what sunshine is (LOL). You spend time moping around. You tell yourself every day how much you hate it. You send pictures of people on beach cruiser bikes to your husband because you see that some people get to live in warmer climates. (No, just me?)

But what if you loved it where you live?

How COULD you love it?

What can you do to love where you live more?

There are, of course, always choices in life. 

You can choose to stay where you are (in your job, with your boss, or where you live) and remain miserable.

You can choose to leave.

Or you can choose to change how YOU feel about it.

By finding better-feeling thoughts.

And thinking those thoughts over & over again.

When your brain tries to remind you how much you don’t like what’s happening, you correct it & remind it of how you actually do.

If you would like 1:1 support to do this work, book a complimentary, no-obligation consult here.

Are you feeling overwhelmed?

I can help; let’s break it down.

1. Write down the thing that has you feeling overwhelmed.

Simply naming it helps to remove you from it.

2. How does this overwhelming thing (your answer above) have you FEEL?

Again, write a list.

Keep it to one word.

Then DESCRIBE the feeling.

What color is it?

What shape?

Where in your body do you feel it?

How heavy or light is it?

Does it move, and if so, how?

Use as many adjectives as you can.

This will dissipate the feelings.

Next, let’s get to the to-dos.

3. Write down everything to do in the “next action” format.

For example, there are several actions to getting tires changed. 

First, call & make an appointment; next, put the tires in your car.

So often, we write or think “change car tires” on our to-do list, but this is too vague.

We’re overwhelmed because we are not being specific.

Writing the next action is specific; focus here.

4. Decide what to do next & do it.

Start with one thing & go from there.

By processing through & breaking down the overwhelm, you will

Be more productive at work

Enjoy your evenings at home with your family

Work out because you enjoy it, not b/c you have to ‘blow off steam.’

And have a better life. 

Breaking down overwhelm is exactly what I help my clients do. 

If you would like to learn how never to feel overwhelmed again, book a consult here.

OR join me for my next FREE Monthly Webinar: Collaborative Communication on Monday, February 27, 2023 at 6: 30 PM MT. Click here to register & receive the Zoom link. You will see positive results from this five step communication process- guaranteed.

Do you like to travel? I love it, but it wasn’t always this way.

I used to get super stressed out. 

I would rush everywhere, practically running from place to place in disheveled haste. 

I would be stressed out about what to pack and what to leave home as if every decision was life or death. 

Every event, excursion, or add-on would throw me into a financial debate– justifying if the activity was worth the money spent. 

Because we were in new & unfamiliar places, I would be hyper-vigilant, always watching to keep Tara close & safe (sometimes hard to do with an independent, usually free-to-roam child). 

And this was supposed to be a relaxing vacation. Ha! 

I have since learned how not to worry so much & stay present. 

Things happen. Plans don’t go as planned. Connections are missed, bags are lost, and trips are canceled. 

Here’s what I do now—the best I can. That’s it. 

99.9% of these things I cannot control. 

I do my best with what I can control & I don’t try to control the rest. 

Because I know there isn’t any amount of stressing, worrying, yelling, being rude, or getting upset that will magically make a missed connection reappear. 

But staying calm, cool, and collected and moving from point A to point B will help me have a better travel (and life) experience. 

If you like to travel but are tired of stressing about it; 
if you would like to know how to stay present but don’t know where to start; 
if you want to have a better life experience, 
Let’s get you feeling better. 
I offer a complimentary, no-obligation consultation. 
Book here.

For any of you who might need this reminder, you are a human being having a human experience– even when you already know how this works! 

For example, maybe you want to plan a trip, but you’re stressed out about it– even when you’re doing good & fun things. 

You think– this will be fun, this should be easier… 
But why all the mind drama? 

Because brains are gonna brain.
Because you’ve been doing it this way for __ [insert your age here] number of years.
Because you haven’t yet, mastered it…

But you are masterING it.

Maybe, you just miss the physical & emotional cues, therefore,

You didn’t pull yourself out of it or even

Question what was going on.

Next time, try this: 

You’re feeling tightness in your forehead & chest,
feeling like a deer in headlights,
feeling selfish,
& worried about making the “right” decisions.

You are struggling to decide, 
changing your mind about decisions made, and 
asking others for their opinions over & over & over.

When you notice feeling this way, step back & ask: 

What is going on here? 
Why are you feeling this way?
And doing these things?

Answer these questions. 

For example:
You will miss being away from your home & family.
You are forgetting a commitment.
You will be uncomfortable traveling so much.
It will be too expensive.

Then ask yourself:
Is it true?
And if so, what would you like to do about it?

Yes, you might miss being away from your home & family, so shorten the trip.
Yes, you might forget a commitment, so check the dates.
You might be uncomfortable traveling, but you will also be uncomfortable staying home- which do you prefer?
Yes, it might be expensive, but that’s how much things cost nowadays.

It really is as simple as
noticing when you feel worried,
asking what’s going on,
checking to see if it’s true &
mitigating those fears & concerns.

If this interests you & you’d like to learn more,
If you’d like personalized 1-on-1, private support to work through your fears & concerns,
If you’d like to work with me, book a complimentary, no-obligation consult here.

You’re going to fall in life;

expecting not to would be unrealistic.

And it’s OK; this is how we learn.

The question is: how long will you stay down?

The longer you are down, the longer it will take you to reach your goal.

Also, if you spend all your time afraid of falling, you won’t enjoy your time up, living in constant fear of falling.

But once you do fall, you see it was not that bad.

And each time you get up again, brush yourself off & keep going, you build resilience, getting up faster the next time.

For example, maybe you were hoping for a second date, but he never called.

Maybe you were hoping for a promotion, but you weren’t selected.

Maybe you were hoping to close a deal, but it fell through.

1. Decide the amount of time you will be sad. (Yes, you get to decide how long you feel sad. For example, do you need two minutes, 20 minutes, or 2 hours?

Feel total sadness, disappointment, & upset during that time.

Cry, call your girlfriends, mope around, & do what you do to feel sad.

2. When the time is up, move on by describing how the emotion feels:
Where is it in your body?
What shape is it?
What color?
Texture?
Is it heavy or light?
How does it move?

3. Next, find what is true- no story, just the facts.

For example, you had a first date.

You pursued a promotion.

You created a business opportunity.

4. Then take it up a notch. What worked well to create these results in the first place?

What did you think, feel & do to get that first date?

How are you a great candidate for the promotion?

How did you create the business opportunity?

5. Lastly, what would you like to do differently next time?

What can you think, feel & do to create more first dates?

How will you build your resume for the next promotion?

How will you create more opportunities?

6. Then do exactly that.

The longer you stay down, the longer it will take you to achieve what you want.

The sooner you get back up with these insights & clear “directions” of what to do, the sooner you will achieve what you want.

P.S. If you’d like support when you fall in life to get back up & get going sooner, I can help. I offer a complimentary, no-obligation consultation. Click here to book.

If you struggle to put yourself out there… 

If you worry about what “they” will think…

If you are afraid to show the real you & what you love to do,

don’t forget– no one is making “them” stay. 

They have choices.

If they are uncomfortable, it’s their choice. 

They can choose to stay or go; 

They don’t have to stick around.

You will attract others who want to be there, 

those who choose you. 

Your job is to take care of yourself by being you. 

Their job is to take care of them by doing what they need to do, too. 

You can simply choose not to care what they think and be ok with that. 

But if that feels like a stretch, try this: 

~ Know that caring what other people think is a normal human experience (it’s an evolution trait), 

And yet, you can change. 

~ Remember that their opinions are a reflection of them, not you. 

~Remember that they are responsible for their own comfort, 

just as you are responsible for your own comfort. 

1. Take a look and see what is true here. 

What are the facts? 

Has anyone said any words, 

or are you just worried about it?

2. If they have said negative words–

Consider– is it true? 

Is it really truly true? 

And what is YOUR opinion? 

3. Then allow for the negative emotions that will come up when you decide for yourself– 

be willing to be judged, contrary, criticized, and different. 

So that you can stay true to yourself…

Have more self-trust…

Live a better life– one that you love. 

And, if you’d like support to stop caring what “they” think, 

I can help you. 

If you’d like support to stop calling what “they” think, I can help you. Click here to book a free, no-obligation consultation with the link in my bio.

Did you know that you could decide that right now? 

Yep, right here, right now, at the beginning of the year. 

Many of us think, “But I don’t know if it’s going to be my best year ever; I haven’t lived it yet.”

OK, you can wait until the end of the year to see what happens. 

Or you can decide now and make it your best year ever. 

What would be different in your life if you just decided to make this your best year ever? 

You would feel more empowered. 

You would make better decisions. 

You would do more fun things, have more adventures, travel more, and spend more time with your family- whatever is most important to you.

Simply because you have already decided that this will be your best year ever. 

But what about when things happen that are not so great? 

Know that life is 50/50- 50% good & 50% bad. 

Deal with it if/ when it comes up. 

Learn from it if there is a lesson to be learned by doing an evaluation- what worked, what didn’t, and what you might like to do differently.

Then choose to refocus on how this is (still) your best year ever. 

Find the evidence of how this is (still) true. 

Feel how it feels to be living your best year ever. 

Continue to make decisions about how this is your best year ever. 

Do the things that make this your best year ever. 

So that you have your best year ever. 

If you’d like support to live your best year ever, I’m living my best year ever, too; let’s do it together. 

Or join me on Thursday, January 12, at 11 AM MT for Where to Begin, a free webinar via Zoom, where you will learn how to assess your life to determine what you want and the exact next steps for designing a life you love. Click here to sign up.

Recently, I had the honor of presenting to a group of fantastic real estate agents, during which I was asked: what about negative self-talk? 

Yep, that negative self-talk is a B- isn’t it? 

Solution: question if it’s true. 

Look for evidence that it’s not true. 
Find evidence of how the opposite is (or could be) true. 
Choose to spend more time here, giving equal, if not more, airtime to the thoughts that serve you (rather than the thoughts that can take you down). 

It IS a choice. 

And remember, once you see something, you can’t unsee it. 

Let’s walk through an example. What if someone sold 16 units, but you only sold 6?

You think: she can do it, but I can’t. 
I’m doing “all the things,” but it’s still not working. 
I’m missing something. 
There’s some x-factor that she has & I don’t. 

You feel frustrated, discouraged, and irritated. 

You spend time spinning out in confusion rather than taking clear, direct & effective action. 

Question if it’s true. 
Look for evidence of how that is NOT true. 
Then, find evidence of how the opposite is true. 

If you sold six units, you must be doing something right. 
How did you sell those six? 
Specifically, what did you do or not do? 
What were the thoughts you were thinking? 
How did you feel when you thought those thoughts?  

Get back into that place.
Then, take action from here. 
Evaluate what is working, what isn’t working & what you want to do differently. 
Wash, rinse, repeat. 

P.S. I am a “tough love-er.” Sometimes I have to tell my brain to eff off. I do this from a place of fierce love. My brain and I have formed an excellent relationship, but I had to get tough and be strict first. Now that my brain knows my boundaries, we can both move about freely. And it’s a beautiful thing. 

P.P.S. If you’re interested in learning more, join me for my next (free) monthly webinar, Where to Begin- the first steps to designing a life you love in 2023, via Zoom on Thursday, January 12, 2023, at 11 AM MT. Click here to register & the link will be emailed to you.

I was recently on a flight & spent ~2 hours cleaning out years worth of screenshots on my phone.

I deleted cute quotes, workouts, recipes, decor photos, marketing ideas, and dietary suggestions.

And these are only the screenshots.

I have handwritten notes in journals, typed notes in Notes, in Pages, and in Trello- tons of notes on how to do things. (I’m purging these, too.)

I spent so much time looking for anyone to tell me what to do and how to have a more joyful life.

I would see something I liked or wanted to do, and my brain constantly asked…

b. u. t. H. O. W. ???

And I would spin out in confusion, disappointment, and feeling stuck.

Not anymore.

Now, I know how.

(Newsflash: it has nothing to do with all the screenshots I’ve hoarded and notes I’ve taken.)

It has to do with listening to and trusting myself.

I started small- making just one promise to myself- something easy I could do to show up for myself.

And then I did it.

And my brain was like- huh, she did what she said she would do.

And then I did it again.

Super small.

Very easy.

Decide & commit.

And my brain was like- huh, she did what she said she would do again, and she keeps doing it!

And little by little, I kept showing up for myself.

Little by little, my brain started to trust me.

Little by little, I learned how to reverse engineer the results I want in life.

By practicing the thoughts, I want to think.

By creating the feelings, I want to feel.

By taking the actions I know to take.

And then evaluating the results.

I feel lighter and so much freer.

If you’d like support knowing exactly how to achieve the results you want, the first step is to book a consult. Or you can see info about & register for the next (free) monthly webinar right here.

In the last post, we talked about how to prioritize your time. 

What about when things “pop up”?

Suddenly you have cookies to make, gifts to purchase, and things to wrap.

There is way too much to do not and enough time.

“How did I do this again?”

“I can’t ever get a handle on my time.”

“I will never get this figured out.”

Let’s talk about how to schedule your time.

Look ahead for 20-30 minutes at the beginning of the week.

See what events are coming up.
And what are your next steps to prepare for them?

Let’s use baking cookies as an example.

This actively has several steps.

Find a recipe.

Check your pantry for ingredients.

Check any gear you might need- cookie press, tin foil, parchment paper, cookie sheets, etc.

Write a list of ingredients to purchase.

Go to the store and get the ingredients. 

Mix the cookies.

Bake the cookies.

Clean up.

Each of these steps requires action. 

You do one, then the next, and the next. 

So schedule each of these steps. 

When are you going to look for a recipe? 

When will you go food shopping?

1. Get clear about what needs to be done and when by looking ahead. 
2. Create your schedule.
3. Stick to it.

Decide and commit so that you can actually enjoy spending time with your family at holiday times.

If you feel like you can’t catch up or stay caught up
If you are tired of feeling like a constant failure
If this sounds easy and you know this already, but you aren’t actually doing it

Reach out.

I can help you. 

Together we’ll create a schedule that works for you. 
That will be easy to stick to. 
You will get a handle on your time 
And your life for the rest of your life. 

The first step is to book a free consult: https://christineseager.com/book