First, there is no love without grief. If you are grieving, it’s because you loved in the first place.
As painful as it is, grief is a feeling that serves us. I often talk about changing our thoughts, so we feel better, but sometimes feeling sad is what serves us best at that moment. Grief is a normal part of healing, and it is OK to be sad.
There is no “right way” to grieve. We have an unrealistic expectation that it’s linear. “First we do this.. then we do that… eventually we accept and feel better.” This is simply not true. We zig-zag. In one moment we feel better and in the next, we don’t.
Not only is grieving not linear but there isn’t only one way to grieve. The beauty of being human is that we are all different. We think, feel, and act differently; we grieve differently. We even grieve differently from one from moment to the next. What one person needs or wants in their grief may not necessarily work for someone else. If you don’t know what to say, you can simply offer: I care about you. I’m sorry this is happening. I’m here for you.
Give yourself (and others) the space to process emotions— all feelings are welcome. Do your best to feel your feelings. While rounding this morning, I saw people saying they are not OK while holding space for others to share that they are not OK, too— what a great example of being truthful, feeling their feelings, and supporting others.
Lastly, talk about it. Share your experience, tell your story, share some memories, and share a laugh if you’re so inclined (because that is especially easy when talking about Shane, isn’t it? <3). Talking helps to process emotions, and there is relief in sharing with the collective, especially in a tight-knit community like Logan Health Whitefish.
If you’d like coaching or just support with your grief, you can book a Logan Health Whitefish Employee Coaching Session by clicking the link below. I am here to support you.