Category: well-being

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People Pleasers Are Liars?!

I recently heard that people pleasers are liars, and at first, I was like, “What?! No!”

But after consideration, I can see how it’s true.

Let’s say your desired result is to lose weight.

Your sister visits and brings you a box of baked goods from a fantastic bakery near her.

She’s excited to share these treats with you, but you know these treats are not on your dietary plan and may hinder your progress in losing weight.

But you also don’t want to tell her no because, after all, she went through the trouble of buying and bringing them to you; she wants to make you happy, and you don’t want to make her upset.

What are your options?

If you say yes to her, you are saying no to yourself, to your goals & dreams.

And you are lying because your genuine desire is to lose weight, not to eat the treats. (I mean, let’s be real, you probably want to eat the treats AND lose weight, but that’s not how weight loss actually works.)

So, what to do?

First, decide how you want to show up to this.

Maybe you want to be kind and gracious.

Consider– what would someone loving, kind & gracious do?

They might say, “Thank you so much for this generous gift. I love you so much, and I’m touched that you thought of me. I’m sorry I didn’t share this previously, but I’m working towards losing weight. Treats like these are not on my food protocol. Would you like me to keep them for you or share them with our neighbor?”

You can be loving, kind & gracious, AND responsible for yourself, staying true to your weight loss goal.

And your sister can be responsible for herself– for her thoughts, feelings & actions, too.

This is how we create and live a life we love.

P.S. As a reminder, as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

P.P.S. You can get in early and register for the next free monthly Christine Seager Coaching Masterclass on How to Create More Fun by registering here.

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distraction

Are you someone who is easily distracted? If so, this one is for you. 

Being easily distracted can lead to frustration, feeling overwhelmed, anxiousness, or stress. 

If you even catch yourself being distracted in the first place, you might think: 

“What is wrong with me? Why can’t I stay focused?”

“I can’t ever get anything done.” 

“Why can’t I focus on just one thing like everyone else?” 

Or 

“It takes me forever & I’ll never catch up when I can’t get things completed.” 

You know staying focused will help you be more productive, save time, and achieve your goals, but how can you do that? 

Well, a few ways. 

First, mindset: 

“I can learn how to do this.” 

“I am in control of my attention.” 

“I can try a few different things until I find something that works.”

Or

“I am improving my productivity.” 

The strategy: 

  1. Notice what you’re doing that has you distracted. I.E., is your phone in your hand when you’re supposed to be getting ready for work? Or you’re talking to your family when you should have been out the door already? See if you can determine your thoughts just before you picked up your phone. 
  2. Repeat in your head what you are doing, what task you are completing. I.E., I’m getting dressed. Or I’m gathering my lunch. Or, I’m writing an article. One part of your brain can focus on the task & the other part is reminding your brain of what you’re focusing on. 
  3. You can set a timer. A metronome may help, too– the ticking sound can be a constant reminder to stay on task until the task is complete. 

It’s helpful to realize that being easily distracted is not a problem; it’s something you can figure out how to work with so you can stay better focused & achieve your goals. 

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rock star

When I went to my husband’s work Christmas party in December, 

I felt like a rock star & I can’t even tell you how fabulous that was.

I didn’t even really realize how much less stress & anxiety I was feeling until I was in the shower, getting ready. 

(Isn’t all of our best thinking done in the shower?)

I compared my feelings for this Christmas party to one I attended just a year ago.

I was a complete hot mess.

I felt inadequate, insecure, anxious, exposed, & had dread.

I had all the negative self-talk, 

100% of which was untrue, 

but I 100% believed it.

I didn’t have anything “good” to wear, my hair was a mess, & I felt fat. 

I tried to force myself to feel better while feeling like a complete sh*t-show on the inside. 

It didn’t work & instead, I had a meltdown.

After being fully dressed & 80% ready to go, I took off all my clothes to regroup & start over.

I even took another shower– sweaty & wanting to wash the tear stains from my face.

I was more than an hour late to that party.

This year, I Marco Polo’d with some girlfriends to get their input on my outfit.

I felt like I looked amazing. 

I got showered, dressed, & ready with zero drama.

I felt comfortable and confident.

I openly approached & initiated conversations with people.

I felt so good & grateful; words are inadequate to describe it accurately,

but I can feel it in my heart– like my heart aches with goodness & gratitude

for myself,

for my work on me,

for my coaches, 

& for the coaching I do with my clients, too.

So, what changed?

I got coached and learned 

• how to build self-trust

• how to manage my mind

• how to manage my negative emotions & create better feelings 

• how to have fun & so much less anxiety

And you can, too.

If you want to feel like a rock star,

If you want to be able to get ready for an event without a hot mess meltdown,

If you want friends who will give you Marco Polo outfit advice,

I can help you. 

You can join me for a free monthly webinar about How to Build Self-Trust on 1/31/24 at 11 AM MT. Register here. 

Or, you can book a consultation here. 

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

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what if

You think you can’t, but WHAT IF you could?

You might think, but I don’t know how.

You might think you don’t have the money.

Or the time,

Or you couldn’t possibly do that right now,

It’s too busy, and

There are other things you “should” do.

It feels impossible,

Or selfish,

Or too hard.

And you feel stuck,

Maybe lack,

Definitely frustrated.

You stay right there.

You don’t see how it could be possible.

You remain miserable in your own life.

Instead, consider:

What DO you know?

This is how you get started.

You see possibility.

If you see someone else do it,

Then, know it’s available for you to do, too.

How COULD you create more money?

How COULD you find the time?

How COULD you possibly do that right now?

How COULD you do that now, even when it’s busy?

Who says there are other things you “should” do & do you want to listen to them?

How could it be possible?

How is it selfish NOT to?

How could it be EASY to do?

How could you get UNstuck?

How could there be plenty?

What DO you know?

Start there, 

See possibility, 

Then, decide how you want to move forward, 

In creating and LIVING a life you love.

If you want to be EMPOWERED to create amazing results in your life, 

If you want to learn how to create a clear, specific, actionable & repeatable plan, 

If you want to learn how to implement (even when it’s uncomfortable), 

Book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation where you can tell me what results you would love to create, and I will tell you how I can help.

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self-doubt

Do you feel inadequate and full of self-doubt? 

You feel frustrated & resent your boss; you think she’s power-tripping. 

You want a better work-life balance. Lots less work/ lots more life, of- course. 

You constantly try to figure out how you can work fewer hours AND get the bills paid. 

You know you do a good job, but your brain is more likely to remind you of where you’re lacking than of your good work. 

You have a vague sense of dissatisfaction & constantly feel like something is missing. 

You aren’t happy, you aren’t even content & you lack motivation for everything you want to do (not just work, but at home, too). 

You’re constantly exhausted & frankly, just over it. 

I challenge you to seek out your unique strengths & talents and recognize what makes you you. 

When you identify what is holding you back,

And you see where you are holding yourself back,

And you decide to step into who you truly are at your core,

And share that with the world–

You will have a greater sense of fulfillment. 

You will build a stronger & more connected relationship with yourself & those whom you choose to share yourself with. 

You will have more motivation & be energized. 

You will have the capacity to find a better work-life balance. 

You will create & live a life you love for you by you (and this does not mean at the exclusion of others). 

How? 

~ take proactive steps to improve your self-confidence & overcome your self-limiting beliefs
~ actively pursue opportunities to create a more fulfilling work environment or explore part-time options
~ engage in activities that bring you joy & fulfillment
~ have the courage to seek something different 
~ be willing to take action, even when it’s uncomfortable 

If you struggle with this or don’t know what to do or how to do it– I would be honored to support you. I have done this work myself & this is exactly what I help my clients with. Reach out. Let’s talk. Click here to take the first step & book your complimentary, no-obligation consultation.

As a reminder, for LHW employees, coaching is free! Click here to book your in-person coaching session or here for a remote coaching session.

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co-sign

Are you someone who needs others to co-sign on your ideas?

You’re afraid of being judged, criticized, or doing it “wrong.”

This might look like:

You want to write a book but struggle to start writing or sharing this dream with others.

You constantly seek validation from fellow writers & online writing communities.

You do all the research to ensure your idea is worth pursuing and that you know exactly how to do it.

You don’t trust your own creativity & you rely on external validation before taking any concrete steps toward writing. 

Perhaps you want to switch careers and pursue your desire to become a wedding planner.

You constantly seek validation from your friends & family that this is a good idea. 

You don’t attend workshops or start marketing your business until everyone else is onboard, too.

You struggle to trust your own talent & abilities without constant reassurance from others.

You spend time talking to everyone else rather than 

Believing in your ideas, 

Being proactive in your decision-making, 

Taking empowered action, 

(Even if others are skeptical), 

And developing the self-confidence 

To make decisions based on your desires and values, 

Trusting your own judgment,

Embracing your individuality, 

And creating & living a life you love. 

You don’t need others to opt in, co-sign, or agree with what you are doing. 

You only need to believe in yourself, 

Recognizing your own enoughness, 

Just as you are. 

If you’d like help to recognize your own enoughness, I can help.

Click here to take the first step & book your complimentary, no-obligation consultation.

As a reminder, for LHW employees, coaching is free! Click here to book your in-person coaching session or here for a remote coaching session.

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me to my brain

“Good afternoon, thank you so much for coming. We have a couple of things to cover today so I’m going to try and move really quickly. To start off– WHY?! OK? Secondly is how come, how come. Uh-huh. And finally how dare you?”

Me, to my brain, every time she thinks she’s in charge. 

Don’t forget you are in charge, not your brain. 

True, it’s your brain’s job to keep you safe, but it’s YOUR job to see if the thoughts it offers serve you or not. 

Are you afraid of running alone in a dark park late at night? 

Does that fear serve you? 

Yes, it keeps you safe. #NotRecommended

Do you feel afraid of public speaking? 

Does that fear serve you? 

Probably not; #YouWontAcutallyDie from public speaking. 

Remind yourself why you want to do it and do it. 

Are you procrastinating working out? 

Does that serve you? 

You might say yes, but only for the short term. 

Let’s try another way: how do you feel when you don’t work out? 

Guilty. 

How do you feel when you DO work out? 

Maybe it hurts a little at first, but then you feel amazing. 

Which reason (for doing or not doing it) do you like better? 

Obviously, the workout, suck it up for a bit, feel amazing later. 

How about this? 

Which one will create a life you love? 

See how easy that is? 

Don’t let your brain get away with BS. 

Ask it: Why? How come? And how dare you! 

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not enough

Not feeling like you’re enough can look like many different things: 

~hesitating to share your opinions or ideas at work

~feeling insecure about your appearance & comparing yourself to others

~avoiding taking on leadership roles or projects because you’re worried about failure or judgment

~feeling uncomfortable when you receive compliments or praise and then dismissing them or downplaying your accomplishments

~struggling to advocate for your own needs & preferences in relationships

~doubting your abilities and qualifications for promotions, even when you meet the required criteria

~being overly self-critical or focusing on your perceived flaws

~perseverating &/or not able to let go when you make a mistake

~hesitating to uphold your boundaries with micromanaging bosses, difficult colleagues, or mothers-in-law

~being reluctant to speak up or contribute to the conversation in social gatherings

~questioning your ability to provide guidance & support to your older children

~being overly concerned about what others think of you, seeking external validation for your self-worth

~hesitating to ask for help or support because you’re worried it would be seen as a sign of weakness… 

And these are just a few. 

Does any of this sound familiar to you? 

I call this not feeling like you are enough. 

Right now, 

just as you are, 

because you are, 

even if you don’t see it in yourself. 

If you’d like to learn how to 

Find Your Enoughness

Join my email list

And I will send you this FREE Masterclass

Where I’ll teach you how.

See you there.

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journaling

I am a huge proponent of journaling. 

It allows you to dive into the depths of your thoughts & emotions. Putting pen to paper creates a space for self-reflection and introspection. In doing so, you gain a better understanding of your own desires, values, & beliefs. This self-awareness enables personal growth & empowers you to make more informed decisions.

Getting your thoughts & feelings out on paper can be an excellent way to release stress & manage emotions. When you unload your mind onto paper, you create a sense of clarity & relief. Journaling provides a safe & non-judgmental outlet for expressing worries, frustrations, or anxieties. By venting on the page, your mind becomes calmer & more focused, improving overall well-being.

Keeping a journal can be an effective tool for setting & tracking your goals. Writing down your aspirations makes them more tangible & attainable. Additionally, regularly recording your progress & achievements creates a sense of accountability & motivation. By tracking your journey in a journal, you can celebrate milestones, learn from setbacks, and stay committed to your goals.

Journaling encourages active problem-solving & decision-making. Putting pen to paper can help organize your thoughts & explore potential solutions when faced with challenges or dilemmas. By writing out different perspectives and weighing the pros & cons, you gain clarity & can make more rational decisions. Journaling serves as a personal sounding board, allowing you to evaluate options & develop effective strategies to overcome obstacles.

Our memories are precious, and journaling is an excellent way to preserve them. You create a vivid record of your life’s journey by jotting down experiences, events, gratitudes, and reflections. Years later, you can revisit these pages & relive those moments, savoring the emotions & insights captured within. Journaling can become a cherished keepsake, a window into your past that can bring joy, nostalgia, & a renewed appreciation for life.

So, carve out time to reflect & record your thoughts. Your future self will thank you.

P.S. Click here to take the first step & book your complimentary, no-obligation consultation.

P.P.S. As a reminder, for LHW employees, coaching is free! Click here to book your in-person coaching session or here for a remote coaching session.

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the VALUE of coaching

Clarity: Coaching helps you clarify your values, priorities, and aspirations, enabling you to make informed decisions aligned with your true desires.

Empowerment: Through coaching, you’ll develop self-awareness, self-confidence, and assertiveness, empowering you to set and enforce healthy boundaries, freeing you from people-pleasing tendencies.

Overcoming perfectionism: Coaching provides practical tools and strategies to challenge perfectionistic tendencies, helping you embrace progress over perfection and fostering self-acceptance.

Action-oriented mindset: Coaches support you in overcoming procrastination by breaking down goals into actionable steps, enhancing your time management skills, and fostering accountability.

Goal attainment: With coaching, you’ll set clear, measurable goals and receive guidance on creating effective action plans, increasing your likelihood of achieving personal and professional milestones.

Enhanced fulfillment: Coaching encourages you to explore and pursue a life you love, aligning your actions with your passions, values, and strengths, ultimately leading to increased fulfillment and happiness.

So that you can FEEL BETTER!! 💕💕 If you’d like support to feed better, too- reach out; I can help you.