Category: well-being

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Breaking Down Defensive Walls: The Key to Better Conversations

One of the biggest challenges in healthcare communication is defensiveness. You’ve likely experienced it yourself—someone makes a comment, and before you even think about it, you feel the need to defend your actions. This is especially common in high-pressure environments like hospitals, where emotions can run high, and time is limited.

But here’s the thing: defensiveness shuts down conversations.

Instead of connecting and solving problems, it creates walls that are hard to break through. So, how can you dismantle those walls and create a space where real conversations can happen?

Problem: Why Defensiveness Takes Over

Defensiveness often kicks in when we feel misunderstood or criticized. Our brain goes into protection mode, making it hard to hear the other person’s perspective. And in healthcare, where every decision feels important, this reaction is even stronger.

But defensiveness doesn’t just hurt the conversation; it blocks the chance for true collaboration.

Solution: Focus on Empathy and Curiosity

To break through defensiveness, try leading with empathy and curiosity. Here’s how:

  • Start by acknowledging their emotions: Statements like, “I can see why you might feel frustrated,” show the other person that you recognize their experience. This lowers their defenses and opens the door for a more constructive conversation.
  • Ask questions rather than making assumptions: Instead of assuming why something went wrong, ask about their thought process. Try, “What was going on for you in that moment?” or “How do you think we can avoid this next time?” This invites a collaborative mindset, allowing both sides to work together toward a solution.

Results: Building Trust and Reducing Conflict

When you approach conversations with empathy and curiosity, you not only avoid triggering defensiveness but also build trust. People feel heard and understood, which leads to more openness, cooperation, and problem-solving.

By practicing these techniques, you can make conversations in healthcare less about defending positions and more about working together to find solutions.

Want to go deeper? My Collaborative Communication masterclass will give you practical tools to use empathy and curiosity effectively, helping you improve communication at work and home. You can register here.

If you’re a Logan Health employee, remember you have access to a free coaching with me as part of your benefits! (BTW, it’s completely confidential. I don’t share who I work with, what role coaching clients are in, what department they work in, etc.) Let’s work together to strengthen your communication skills and reduce stress in your professional life. You can book a coaching session here. 

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How to Turn Tension into Collaboration with Three Simple Shifts

Have you ever walked into a conversation already expecting tension? Whether it’s a challenging patient, a frustrated colleague, or a demanding supervisor, those moments can feel heavy and stressful before the first word is even spoken. But what if you could turn that tension into an opportunity for collaboration instead?

The problem is, we often get stuck in a defensive mindset. We’re ready to protect our point of view or respond to criticism. This only heightens the tension and prevents meaningful communication.

But there’s a way to shift the dynamic and get better results.

Shift 1: Take a Neutral Stance

When we approach conversations with an agenda or strong opinions, we unknowingly create resistance. Instead, try to stay neutral—focus on the facts, not feelings. For example, rather than starting with, “You always forget to update the chart,” you could say, “I noticed the chart wasn’t updated after your shift.” This reduces blame and keeps the conversation focused on solving the problem.

Shift 2: Ask Open-Ended Questions

People feel more valued when they’re given the chance to share their perspective. Instead of assuming you know why someone acted a certain way, ask them to explain. Questions like, “Can you help me understand what happened here?” or “What do you think might work better next time?” foster collaboration rather than confrontation.

Shift 3: Look for Solutions, Not Faults

In moments of stress, it’s easy to focus on what went wrong. But what if you focused on what could go right? By shifting your energy from finding fault to finding solutions, you open up a space where everyone can contribute ideas. You might say, “Let’s figure out how we can make this work better moving forward,” inviting a collaborative approach to problem-solving.

These simple shifts can transform tense situations into opportunities for better teamwork, understanding, and productivity.

Want more strategies like these? Join my upcoming masterclass on Collaborative Communication, where we’ll dive into the exact steps to master neutral, solution-oriented conversations in your healthcare role. Wednesday, October 23, 2024 at 11 AM MT. Replays will be available. You can sign up here.

Don’t forget—if you work at Logan Health, you can schedule a coaching session as part of your employee benefits! Let’s chat about how we can reduce tension and build stronger communication skills together. You can book a coaching session here.

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When Conversations Fall Apart

Ever notice how quickly a conversation can fall apart, whether it’s with a colleague, patient, or your team? You start with the best intentions, but suddenly the other person shuts down, leaving you frustrated and stuck.

These breakdowns happen when we focus on what someone did “wrong” rather than trying to understand their perspective. This often leads to defensiveness, miscommunication, and missed opportunities for collaboration.

But there’s a better way.

Collaborative communication shifts the focus from judgment to curiosity, allowing for open, productive conversations where everyone feels heard and respected. 

Here’s how to start:

  1. Manage your emotions. Before engaging, check in with yourself. If you’re frustrated or angry, take a moment to calm down. Deep breaths or a brief pause can make a huge difference in setting a positive tone.
  2. State what you see objectively. Stick to the facts. Instead of saying, “You never finish things on time,” try, “I noticed the project wasn’t completed by the deadline.” This avoids blame and keeps the conversation neutral.
  3. Validate their experience. Show the other person that you understand their feelings. Use phrases like, “I get how this situation could have been frustrating for you.” When people feel understood, they’re more likely to open up and collaborate.

By following these three steps, you create a safe, respectful environment that fosters honest conversation and problem-solving. Want to take it further? Join my masterclass on Collaborative Communication, where we’ll dive deeper into the full process and explore ways to apply these skills in your workplace and at home. Registration is required and you can do so here.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health, employees get coaching sessions at no cost to them. You can book a coaching session here. 

P.P.S. Liked what you read? Join my email list, where I dive deeper into these concepts and teach you HOW to put them into practice in your everyday life. And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram (@christineseager_) or Facebook (@seager.christine), where I share both teaching moments and real-life examples of this work in action. 

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Four Types of Burnout: How to Spot Them and What to Do

Let’s be honest—burnout in healthcare is real. And it doesn’t show up the same way for everyone. Whether you’re caring for patients or managing a team, the daily grind can leave you feeling exhausted, stressed, and wondering if you’ve got anything left to give. The good news is—you’re not alone, and there’s a way through it.

Let’s talk about the four types of burnout that healthcare providers often face, how to spot them, and what you can do to start feeling better.

Emotional Burnout

What It Looks Like:
You know that feeling when you’re on your way to work and you’re already emotionally drained? That’s emotional burnout. Frustration is simmering just beneath the surface, and connecting with your patients or coworkers feels like a huge effort.

How to Spot It:

  • You’re emotionally exhausted before your shift even starts.
  • You’ve hit a wall when it comes to showing empathy.
  • You feel frustrated or irritated more often than not.

What to Do About It:
Take care of you first. Set some boundaries around how much you’re giving at work, and make sure you’re spending time on things that recharge your emotional tank, whether that’s journaling or even a quick walk outside.

Physical Burnout

What It Looks Like:
Ever feel like no amount of sleep is enough? Or that your body’s constantly aching, even when you haven’t done anything strenuous? Physical burnout is your body’s way of telling you it needs a break—and fast.

How to Spot It:

  • You’re always tired, no matter how much rest you get.
  • You’re catching every cold or bug going around.
  • Your body just feels… worn out.

What to Do About It:
Let’s start with the basics—sleep, hydration, water, and movement. I know it’s easier said than done, but your body needs it. Take mini breaks throughout the day, even if it’s just a few minutes to breathe or stretch. And when you’re off the clock, make time for low-impact activities that help you recharge physically.

Mental Burnout

What It Looks Like:
When you’ve been juggling a million decisions, and suddenly, your brain feels like it’s on strike. Mental burnout shows up as difficulty focusing, forgetfulness, and feeling like even small decisions are overwhelming.

How to Spot It:

  • You can’t concentrate, or you feel mentally foggy all the time.
  • You’re struggling to make even simple decisions.
  • You feel scattered and disorganized.

What to Do About It:
Slow down and take things one step at a time. Break up your tasks into smaller chunks and establish priorities. Writing things down can help clear your mental clutter and bring some clarity. And if you need to, give yourself time to pause.

Compassion Fatigue

What It Looks Like:
This one hits close to home for a lot of us in healthcare. Compassion fatigue is when you’ve given and given, and there’s just nothing left. You still care about your patients or your team, but showing that empathy feels almost impossible.

How to Spot It:

  • You feel detached or emotionally distant from those you’re helping.
  • Helping others no longer feels fulfilling.
  • You’re emotionally numb, like you’re running on empty.

What to Do About It:
Take time to reconnect with why you got into healthcare in the first place. Lean on your team for support when you need it, and don’t be afraid to step away emotionally when a situation is too draining. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so give yourself the space to refill it.

Moving Forward: Burnout Isn’t Permanent

Here’s the thing—burnout, in any of its forms, doesn’t have to be permanent. You can feel better. The first step is recognizing what type of burnout you’re experiencing and then taking small steps toward recovery. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone.

I specialize in helping people like you find balance, manage stress, and rebuild confidence. If you’re feeling burned out, let’s chat. You can book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation here.

Logan Health employees receive complimentary coaching, and I’d love to support you in getting back to a place where you feel energized and fulfilled at work and in life.

Take a small step today. Let’s work together to beat burnout and bring more balance back into your life.

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summer smoke

If you’re local in the Flathead Valley, it’s been relentlessly 90º and increasingly smokey.  According to the Flathead Beacon, we’re under a heat advisory over the next two days, and there are Stage II fire restrictions in surrounding counties. The Montana DNRC reports 59 active wildfires, including one outside Helena and one south of Missoula. 

If you’re like me and love summer, you might be inclined to think:

Well, there it goes– literally up in smoke.

I’m sad b/c I love summer & now it’s hot, miserable, AND smokey. 

Not being able to see the mountains makes me feel claustrophobic. 

I love fresh air, but now I can’t open the windows at night. 

We shouldn’t even be outside. 

Camping is more fun with a campfire. 

You feel dismayed, disappointed, angry, and annoyed. 

You complain to your friends, worry about whether you should change your camping plans, and spend endless amounts of time trying to figure out how to get out of here. 

You wind up not enjoying your summer. 

What can you do instead? 

If you were free to focus on something other than the smoke and being disappointed about it, what would you focus on instead? 

What else could you spend your time, energy, and effort on? What would be available to fill in the energetic gap? 

You might think: 

Yes, it’s smokey, and I can’t control the air quality here. 

I’m determined to enjoy my summer anyway. 

I will not just stay inside and do “nothing” for the rest of the summer. 

I have options. 

Now, you feel accepting, empowered, hopeful & creative.

From here, you can determine how you would like to play this.

You are better equipped to: 

  • Focus on things within your control
  • Find alternative activities
  • Enjoy your summer despite the smoke and heat
  • Explore new activities
  • Spend time with friends 
  • Make the most of the season despite challenging conditions 
  • Reduce your stress and frustration
  • Find opportunities for enjoyment and fulfillment in different ways. 

A smokey summer can still be your best summer ever.

This is how you create and live a life you love. 

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your self-concept

If you struggle to meet your goals and often let yourself down, this is for you. To be clear, this one is about your self-concept rather than the actions you do (or don’t) take.

You probably often hear me talking about creating and living a life you love. 

Your self-concept is how you CREATE your life rather than just life happening TO you.

It’s about deciding in advance what you want for your life and who you must be to create that life. 

If you’re trying to create results in your life and taking lots of action without addressing your self-concept, it will not work. 

If who you are being doesn’t match the results you’re working to create, you will sabotage your results every single time. 

For example, if you identify as someone who is overwhelmed, overwhelm the result you will produce. 

You simply cannot create results without changing your identity and your self-concept.

Here’s how to change your self-concept: 

  1. Assess—where are you now, and where do you want to be? 
  2. Define—why do you want it? Why is it important to you? And who do you need to be to get it? Consult with your future self. 
  3. Decide—what you want to change. What can you do to get from here to there, and where do you want to start? If necessary, borrow from other areas where you have created change. Consider how you did it and apply that here. 
  4. Plan and implement while also becoming the person who creates new results. 
  5. Evaluate your results—Find evidence that who you are becoming and what you are doing is working. Then, see what you might want to try differently (if anything). 

Then, as I love to say—wash, rinse, repeat; this is an ongoing process. 

This is how life works. We are constantly evolving and striving for the next thing. When we’re done, we’re dead, so learn to appreciate the journey.

If this interests you and you would like to learn more about changing your self-concept, join me via Zoom on Wednesday, July 17th, at 11 AM MT for the next FREE monthly masterclass. Registration is required, and you can do so by clicking here.

As a reminder, as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, you are entitled to fully confidential coaching at no cost to you. (Yes, it’s free for you). You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. If you have any questions, just email me at Christine@christineseager.com.

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The Difference Between & Solutions for Burnout & Overwhelm

Burnout is defined as a person in a state of physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress. 

It happens when you are producing results– like your hair is on fire, but you’re pushing through it, still working, still doing. It might look like things are fine, but you’re slowly dying on the inside. 

People think this happens when we work too many hours or too hard, but not necessarily. You can work many hours and still not get burned out, and you can work very hard and not get burned out. It’s the thoughts behind it, the attitude that leads to burnout. 

When I worked in the ER, I likened this to the difference between a busy day and a cluster eff day. We could see 60 patients in a 12-hour shift, and things could go smoothly, like clockwork, or we could see 30 patients in 12 hours & it could be a cluster— a big difference. In either case, everything could go sideways, but you can think: this always happens to me. Or you can think: this is what happens in a busy ER; this is just part of the deal. This is what I signed up for. 

Burnout happens when you’re trying to outrun a negative emotion. 

The solution is to give yourself more space. Relax, slow down, and be more intentional with your actions. Work smarter, not harder. Rest, take a break if you can. Manage your mind. Purposefully direct it to better thoughts. 

For example: 

  • I signed up for this when I took this job. 
  • People are out enjoying the nice weather; of course, there are a lot of injuries now. 
  • Tourists are also trying to enjoy the outdoors. Sometimes, they don’t know what they’re doing and make poor decisions, which can be costly—both physically and financially. 
  • I’m glad they’re here, and I’m equipped to help them. 

Overwhelm is defined as being overcome completely; to overpower, especially with superior force, to cover or bury beneath a mass of something.

Overwhelm happens when you are not producing results, like when your hair is on fire and you’re running around in circles.

It’s an emotion, a way for your brain to stay comfortable because when we feel overwhelmed, we often resist, react, or distract (aka. do nothing; take no action; spin our wheels). 

The good news is— because it is an emotion, you have control over it. Since you are creating it, you can change and manage your overwhelm. 

Overwhelm looks like feeling confused about what to do (how to get started or what to do next). You might have an unclear plan and procrastinate, thinking, “I don’t know what to do; I’m just so busy.” 

But it doesn’t have anything to do with your to-do list. It has to do with the thoughts in your brain about how overwhelmed you feel. You’re likely spending more time thinking overwhelming thoughts than actually doing things or taking action. (Also, notice that if you have a to-do list, then you actually know what to do, so check your list.) 

You can tell this is you because you see that you haven’t actually done much. You’re spinning, not creating. 

The solution is to plan and then do; take action. Make decisions: Pick one thing and do it, then the next, and the next. Constrain to doing one thing at a time, not all of the things at once. Take intentional action and get things done. All while managing your mind—not letting it run amok, thinking overwhelming thoughts, and creating the feeling of overwhelm. 

Knowing the difference between burnout and overwhelm will help you determine solutions to mitigate each in your life so that you can create and live a life you love rather than just going through the motions.

What are your thoughts? What are your questions? What would you love to learn more about here? Leave your comments below.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

You can register for the next free Christine Seager Coaching Masterclass on How to Change Your Self-Concept by registering here.

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jealousy

Jealousy often gets a bad rap. It’s usually seen as a negative emotion that breeds resentment and unhappiness. But what if we could flip the script on jealousy and view it as an indicator of our own desires and aspirations? Instead of letting envy fester, we can use it as a catalyst for personal and professional growth. Here’s how this unconventional take on jealousy could play out in your life.


Imagine you’re a nurse who feels jealous of a colleague who recently received a promotion to a managerial position. Instead of stewing in resentment, recognize that this jealousy is highlighting your own desire for career advancement. You want to be recognized for your hard work and dedication, too. Use this realization as motivation to seek out leadership training, take on more responsibilities, or speak with your supervisor about your career goals. By doing so, you can position yourself for future promotions and achieve the professional success you crave.


If you are a physician, you may feel envious of a fellow doctor who perfectly balances their demanding job with a vibrant personal life, including ample family time and engaging hobbies. This jealousy reveals your own yearning for a better work-life balance. Start by assessing your current schedule and identifying areas where you can delegate tasks or streamline processes. Prioritize self-care and set boundaries to ensure you have time for personal interests and family. By making these changes, you can enjoy a more fulfilling and balanced life.


Perhaps you’re a medical technician who feels jealous of another technician with specialized skills that lead to more interesting assignments and higher pay. This envy is simply your inner voice telling you that you want to develop your own expertise. Look for opportunities to attend workshops, earn certifications, or take advanced courses in your field. By enhancing your skills, you’ll open doors to exciting assignments and greater recognition.


As a healthcare assistant, you might envy a colleague attending a prestigious continuing education program or medical school. This jealousy points to your own aspirations for further education and career advancement. Research educational opportunities that align with your interests and goals, and take steps to apply for programs or scholarships. Investing in your education will pave the way for a brighter and more rewarding future.


Imagine you’re a junior doctor feeling jealous of an experienced doctor who has a strong rapport with patients and is often requested by name. This envy indicates your desire to build similar relationships with your patients. Focus on developing your communication skills and empathy. Take time to listen to your patients and understand their concerns. By doing so, you’ll build trust and rapport, becoming a beloved and respected doctor in your own right.


If you’re a healthcare researcher feeling envious of a peer who frequently publishes in high-impact journals and is invited to speak at conferences, this jealousy highlights your ambition for academic recognition. Channel this energy into your own research projects. Collaborate with colleagues, seek mentorship, and dedicate time to writing and submitting your work for publication. By committing to your research, you’ll gain recognition and make significant contributions to medical knowledge.

The key to transforming jealousy into action is to recognize it as a signal of your own desires. Once you’ve identified what you want, take proactive steps to achieve it.

  1. Assess: Reflect on what specifically triggers your jealousy. What does this person have that you want?
  2. Plan: Define what achieving this desire looks like for you. Set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals.
  3. Implement: Develop a plan to work towards your goals. This might include seeking additional training, networking, or making lifestyle changes.
  4. Commit: Remember that achieving your dreams takes time and effort. Stay committed to your goals, and be patient with yourself.

By turning jealousy into a driving force for positive change, you’ll not only make your dreams come true but also experience additional benefits:

You’ll feel more energized as you work towards your goals.
Your self-improvement will help you grow personally and professionally.
Achieving your desires will lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness.
Focusing on your own growth rather than comparing (and despairing) yourself with others can lead to healthier and more positive relationships.
You can inspire those around you to pursue their own dreams and aspirations.

Jealousy does not have to be a problem. Instead, you can view it as a powerful indicator of what you want in life. By recognizing and acting on these desires, you can transform envy into action and create a fulfilling and successful life.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

P.P.S. You can register for the next free Christine Seager Coaching Masterclass on How to Change Your Self-Concept by registering here.

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stuck in a rut

If you’re someone who feels stuck in a rut, this one is for you. 

I was recently revisiting Gretchen Rubins’ book The Happiness Project. When I read, “I wasn’t depressed, and I wasn’t having a midlife crisis, but I was suffering from midlife malaise– a recurrent sense of discontent and almost a feeling of disbelief… Is this really it?” 

She went on, “… though at times I felt dissatisfied, that something was missing, I also never forgot how fortunately I was… I had everything I could possibly want– yet I was failing to appreciate it. Bogged down in petty complaints and passing crises, weary of struggling with my own nature… I wasn’t as happy as I could be, and my life wasn’t going to change unless I made it change.” 

This. This was me in 2018. I could NOT figure out what was missing from my life. 

It turns out it was me, and in time, I learned that:

~ I was not stuck; I had more control over my life than I thought. 

~ I was not appreciating what I had, instead of choosing to seek the good in my everyday life.

~ And I was not expanding that by taking a few seconds or even a minute to soak it all in– absorbing it into my core. 

So, if you are someone who feels stuck in a rut– what can you do differently? 

Start with the things listed above, but then also:

Switch things up by driving a different route to work, pick up a new activity (or rediscover an old one), and reach out to family or friends to connect with. 

You can meet new people and offer to meet someone for coffee, join a gym, or other group of like-minded people. 

You might like to start with a clean space, so declutter your home, workspace, or closet. 

Just try different things until you find the things you like to do. 

I recently signed up for Flathead Area Mountain Bike’s Women’s Clinics. My family was shocked and asked why I suddenly wanted to start mountain biking. My bike is 20 years old and I can probably count on two hands how many times I’ve mountain biked in those 20 years, but I wanted to do something different. I also thought I might like it better if I learned how to mountain bike properly. And, I’m in better shape than I have been; I now have more stamina. (I know what they mean when they say it’s time in the seat. They’re talking about building muscle, which takes time and consistency.) 

I’m loving it. It’s challenging mentally and physically. Am I still sometimes getting frustrated with what I can’t do? Sure, but I’m able to take it in stride. 

I recently also bought a 1000-piece puzzle. I seriously dislike that thing. I don’t understand it; it’s really hard; all the pieces and colors look the same. I really didn’t know what I was getting into when I bought it. And now I know- I will either not be buying another puzzle again, not buying one this hard, or at least knowing what I’m getting into if/ when I commit to one again.

If you feel stuck in a rut, decide to do something different and go after it. You will either love it or learn that you don’t, and you will no longer feel like you’re stuck in that rut. 

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

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The Solution to Overthinking

Overthinking is a way our brains keep us small, safe, and exactly where we are.

Let’s say you have a career decision to make. Should you stay in your current position or start a new job with a different company?

You don’t know the “right” answer because you don’t fully know what it will be like once you get there.

Will it be easier or harder?
Can you make the same amount of money you make now?
What will the people you work with be like?
What about your new boss?
What will the hours be (not what they say they will be)?
What sort of support will you have?
Will they deliver on their promises?

You can’t tell how this will work out for you until you get there, no matter how much research you do or what questions you ask.

Getting data is undoubtedly helpful, but no one can decide for you.

And you will never have a 100% guarantee, either way.

So, I suggest you simply DECIDE.

Ask yourself: if either way was the “right” decision, what do you WANT to do?

Then go & make that BE the right decision.

Go all in on that decision.

I’m Christine. I’m a RESULTS coach. This means I help my clients have, do, be, or achieve anything they want in life– because life is too short to be so miserable.

I have a few one-on-one coaching spots available, starting in April.

You can check out at my next free monthly masterclass, How to Create More Fun, on March 13. Registration is required; you can do so here.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here.