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Are you a “should”-er? 
I should do this; I should do that.
What about “supposed to?”
I’m supposed to do this thing or that thing. 

Could you live your life without shoulds? 
How amazing would that be? 

Let’s try this- 
I should go for a run today. I have a running schedule; the schedule says I’m supposed to run 3 miles today- I really should go for a run.

Do you know what I have used-to-woulda done? 
I used-to-woulda sat on the couch, ate a pile of Girl Scout cookies (Thin Mints, of- course), and spent time feeling guilty for not going for a run. 
I used-to-woulda spent hours of my day thinking about how I can’t even stick to a commitment, meet a goal, or do what I’m supposed to do. AND not only did I not go for a run, but I made it worse by eating cookies, too. 

Now I simply think: 
What is my goal? 
To feel stronger and build more stamina. 
OK, what would be a fun way to do this? 
I could find a 15-minute workout video. 
I could go for a road bike ride into town. 
I could walk up the hill behind our house. 

Then I go and do the thing, and it feels good. 
The End. 

Do you see how much brain space I saved by making it FUN? 
There is zero internal chatter. There’s no arguing, or guilt, or cajoling b/c 
I WANT to do the thing I’ve chosen to do. 

That’s it. 

Yes, it really is that simple. 

The next time there is something you think you SHOULD do, consider: 
What is your goal? 
What is a FUN WAY to reach that goal? 

I recently made the craziest decision… or so I thought. 

I took a job for FUN. Yep, just for fun. 

Y’all- this decision made no sense. 

For years I believed that if I’m not doing what I want to do (which is basically sitting near the water, reading), then I might as well make as much money as possible. 

For my entire nursing career, I worked hard to make myself marketable. I got all the certifications, frequently suggested process improvements, and helped accelerate not only my team but everyone around me. 

I got the promotions and the raises, but after a while, it was still not enough.  After all, as they say, money isn’t everything, and it’s true. 

This job is half the pay, but four times more fun!! 

My summer job is at Wild River Adventures in West Glacier, taking reservations and checking in guests. The view from the front office window is amazing- we are right across the street from Glacier National Park. The people who work there are so nice and chill and love to have fun, too. The guests are excited- ready to have some adventures on their Montana vacations. 

Yesterday I took my first swim of the season on my way home. And I’m sure there will be some rafting in my future. I’m grateful to have some structure to my day, contribute, help grow the team, feel appreciated, have awesome bosses (again), and be surrounded by fresh air and natural sunlight. 

CHEERS to an awesome & FUN summer of 2021!! 

(and thank you to all my friends and peer coaches who listened to me perseverate about this very obvious-to-everyone-besides-me decision.) 

I started a new journal, went back to writing Morning Page (a 3-page brain dump), & practiced a new journalling routine that sets me up with an authentic action for the day. (More on this at a later date.) 

Tara, Max & I went for a 3- mile run. The weather has been cool & crisp, but while we were running, the sun came out, and it was hot as blazes for about half the time.

When we got home, I had a phone call about a great potential opportunity. 

I cleaned up & went to a networking event in Lakeside. I chatted with a few acquaintances, made a new acquaintance, learned about running in the Flathead in the winter, and WON a $50 gift card & a beautiful bouquet of lilac flowers! They smell amazing.  

Here’s the crazy thing: I knew I was going to win. I had the thought, “They are going to call my name.” I just heard it in my head, & sure enough, the gentleman said, “Christine Seager!” 

The Universe, God, Intuition, Knowing, whatever you call it; it’s there. 

On my way home, I drove by the first house that Scott & I rented together. I took a moment to reflect on the day; I felt so good! I’m grateful for the growth that we’ve had. I’m happy that my Inner Knowing reared its head to remind me that it’s there watching out for me; it’s willing to guide me IF I choose to listen to it. And I’m excited about the future I’m creating for us. 

I took a minute to breathe into & feel this, to kind of mentally bottle it up. 

Do you have some sort of inner knowing? 

Do you pay attention to it or push it away? 

Do you choose to listen to and heed it, or do you try to ignore it? (Notice I said TRY to ignore it- have you ever tried NOT to do something and the thought just keeps popping up again and again? or you see a million signs, & you keep blowing them off?)

I have a few decisions to make that feel heavy & important. 

In reality, they are neither that heavy, as nothing is permanent, nor even that important, as I can always make other decisions, correcting course. As I make these decisions, I will be paying attention & choosing to listen to the guidance of my Inner Knowing. 

If you have questions, please reach out; I would LOVE to help.

When you sit down to do something, do you complete one task before starting something else? 

Do you fold clothes while writing a to-do list, putting away groceries, eating lunch, and prepping a soup for the Instant Pot? 

What about while you’re at your desk “working”? Do you listen to podcasts, respond to emails and DMs, plan your day, and work on a project simultaneously, leaving each task only partially completed? 

Does it feel like you are all over the place, like a 2-year-old? 

The way to build mental resilience is to train your brain. Select one task to focus on and just decide to stay with it until it’s complete before moving on.  

When your brain offers other things to do, tell it- I hear you, but no thanks. I’m here now, and I’ll tend to that other task after this task is done. 

It’s little tweaks like this, in your daily live, that will help you train your brain where you want it to focus, leading to a more resilient and joyful life. 

Being goofy, one of my favorite ways to be…

I am always excited to start a new journal. First, I love new books- an entire book of blank pages that I know I’m going to fill excites me. Second, I’m excited to anticipate where I will be when I get to the end of the journal. 

When I started my current journal, I first wrote about who I am and who I want to be. Some of these I am now. Some of these are who I strive to be. 

I’m Christine. 
I’m a nurse. 
I’m a life coach. 
I’m tall and thin, and I’m working to be more physically fit and active. 
I’m middle-aged (if I live to be 90).
I do what I can to take care of myself and my family. 

I know myself. I rely on myself. I enjoy, love, and trust myself (a good thing, too, because we have a lot of time to spend together). 

I’m a homebody, and that’s OK because I have a lovely home to body in. 
I have plenty of gray hairs and scars and wrinkles from a life well-lived- in which I made it way more difficult for myself, but that’s OK. I did the best I could with what I had, and I didn’t know any better or differently. 

I’ve learned how to slow down to go faster, to have ease for more joy, and that gratitude creates grace. 
I have fun and strive for an extraordinary life. 
I’m resilient and reinvent myself, and I don’t hold on to fear, worry, or anger. 
I’m kind and loving. 
I help and serve others. I have years of experience helping others. 
I am calm, cool, and collected and know what to do. I can help you do so, too. 
I’m in control [of me]; I run the show and steer this ship. I can show you how to, too. 
I push when needed with kindness and respect. 
I am warm, and open, and loving. 
I have all the time in the world for you. 
I care about you and communicate directly with your heart, your inner hero, your true you. 
I am genuinely curious and interested in you; after all, we all have a story to tell. 

If you could BE anyone, possess any qualities that you admire in others, who would you be?

What is something you want to do or achieve?

Do you believe it’s possible?

Why or why not?

A funny thing happened on the way to the lake this weekend… I actually enjoyed the hike. 

WHAT!??! I know. 

If you’ve been around here for a while, you might know that I don’t love hiking, but I remember the day I figured out why. 

This used to be the conversation I had in my head while hiking: 
“I don’t know why I come out here.”
“I can’t keep up.” 
“I’m so out of shape.” 
“I can’t catch my breath.” 
“I can’t even stop long enough to enjoy it.” 
“WHY do I always do this?!?!” 
I even blamed my husband, “He drags me all the way out here, and now I’m stuck!” 
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 

Um… I don’t want to hang out with that. Do you? It’s no wonder I’m not too fond of hiking, but I remember the day I realized I was doing this. 

My husband and I were on the Apgar Trail in Glacier National Park when I heard myself- in my head. It was like the opposite of an out-of-body experience- because I was listening, as if from the outside, to what was going on inside my head. That’s when I heard it… all the complaints. At first, it caught my breath. And then, my next thought was, “Wait a minute- I don’t have to listen to this!” And then I was like, “Wait!! I don’t even have to THINK these things! What if I just stopped complaining?” I decided to wash out all the complaints with good thoughts, like: 
“I’m glad I’m physically capable of being out here.”
“I’m so happy my husband wants to hike and spend time with me.” 
“It’s so great that my legs are strong enough to hike me up here.”
“Look at those flowers, aren’t they beautiful?” 
“The sun sure feels warm and nice on my back.” 
“It sure is pretty here.”

Now, when I go for a hike, I pay attention to my thoughts and see what goes on in there. If I hear complaints, I just stop & replace them with more grateful thoughts. 
And obviously, I like hiking a lot better now.

This past weekend I had the opportunity to go adventuring with a group of women for the whole weekend. We met at 6 PM on Friday and stayed until 10:30 AM on Sunday. 

A few of us mentioned some version of- I wasn’t sure I wanted to go. I was nervous. It was scary walking up to a group of strangers. 

BUT all of us who were there did just that. We were brave, and I’m so proud of us. 

Because here’s the thing- this was a new experience for all of us. This group of women has never spent this amount of time together in this location doing these activities ever before. Of course, we got nervous; it was new.

Think of the first time you did anything new. You were tentative and questioning, right? How about riding a bike? Your mind says- I don’t know… is this a good idea? What if I fall and it hurts? Is this the right way to pedal this thing? It feels really hard; maybe I just shouldn’t. 

So when we’re meeting new people, especially a big group of new people, your mind says- I don’t know… is a good idea? What if I feel left out, and it hurts? Is this the right way to talk to these people? It feels really hard; maybe I just shouldn’t. 

Does this sound familiar? Do you understand that this is NORMAL? It’s what our minds are designed to do. Our minds love simple, repetitive, and routine things, NOT new, different, or extraordinary things. 

Do you know where you wind up when you only do simple, repetitive, and routine things? Right where you are. 

Do you know where you wind up when you do new, different, and extraordinary things? In an exciting, different, and extraordinary life. You get more: more laughter, more adventure, more fun, more friends, more support, more sharing, and this weekend- more s’mores. 

Know that it’s normal to have fear and be unsure, but if you want more, be willing to be brave and choose extraordinary.

Do you speak with your spouse like this? 

This mural was on a wall in one of the hotels in Las Vegas. I breezed past but was struck by their body language, so I went back to snap this photo. 

These gentlemen look laid back, relaxed, interested in, and like they are enjoying their conversation. They are just comfortable and chill. 

Is this what you want to be like when you speak with your spouse- to feel laid back, seen and heard, comfortable, that you are interesting, and you are both connected?

Do you know it IS possible? 

Even now. 
It is not too late. 

If you’d like support to get here- reach out for a consult. I can help you.

Where do you focus your time and attention in your relationships? Are you looking for the good, or are you looking for the bad? 

Either way, you’ll find it. 

Maybe he doesn’t buy you flowers, but he holds the door open for you. 
Maybe he doesn’t cook, but he drops the kids off at school. 
Maybe he leaves his dirty socks on the floor, but he helps bring in the groceries (and maybe only when you ask, but he does it). 

Are you focusing on not having flowers, always cooking, the dirty socks, or his kindness in holding the door open, dropping the kids off, and carrying in the groceries? 

You can create better experiences in your relationship by looking for the good, savoring, and then absorbing the experience into your core. Creating more positive neural pathways helps you more easily come back to the positive next time. (It’s like getting on a chairlift. The more empty chairs available, the faster you get to the summit. The more positive neural pathways available, the faster you get to the good.)