Breaking Down Defensive Walls: The Key to Better Conversations

One of the biggest challenges in healthcare communication is defensiveness. You’ve likely experienced it yourself—someone makes a comment, and before you even think about it, you feel the need to defend your actions. This is especially common in high-pressure environments like hospitals, where emotions can run high, and time is limited.

But here’s the thing: defensiveness shuts down conversations.

Instead of connecting and solving problems, it creates walls that are hard to break through. So, how can you dismantle those walls and create a space where real conversations can happen?

Problem: Why Defensiveness Takes Over

Defensiveness often kicks in when we feel misunderstood or criticized. Our brain goes into protection mode, making it hard to hear the other person’s perspective. And in healthcare, where every decision feels important, this reaction is even stronger.

But defensiveness doesn’t just hurt the conversation; it blocks the chance for true collaboration.

Solution: Focus on Empathy and Curiosity

To break through defensiveness, try leading with empathy and curiosity. Here’s how:

  • Start by acknowledging their emotions: Statements like, “I can see why you might feel frustrated,” show the other person that you recognize their experience. This lowers their defenses and opens the door for a more constructive conversation.
  • Ask questions rather than making assumptions: Instead of assuming why something went wrong, ask about their thought process. Try, “What was going on for you in that moment?” or “How do you think we can avoid this next time?” This invites a collaborative mindset, allowing both sides to work together toward a solution.

Results: Building Trust and Reducing Conflict

When you approach conversations with empathy and curiosity, you not only avoid triggering defensiveness but also build trust. People feel heard and understood, which leads to more openness, cooperation, and problem-solving.

By practicing these techniques, you can make conversations in healthcare less about defending positions and more about working together to find solutions.


Want to go deeper? My Collaborative Communication masterclass will give you practical tools to use empathy and curiosity effectively, helping you improve communication at work and home. You can register here.

If you’re a Logan Health employee, remember you have access to a free coaching with me as part of your benefits! (BTW, it’s completely confidential. I don’t share who I work with, what role coaching clients are in, what department they work in, etc.) Let’s work together to strengthen your communication skills and reduce stress in your professional life. You can book a coaching session here

When Conversations Fall Apart

Ever notice how quickly a conversation can fall apart, whether it’s with a colleague, patient, or your team? You start with the best intentions, but suddenly the other person shuts down, leaving you frustrated and stuck.

These breakdowns happen when we focus on what someone did “wrong” rather than trying to understand their perspective. This often leads to defensiveness, miscommunication, and missed opportunities for collaboration.

But there’s a better way.

Collaborative communication shifts the focus from judgment to curiosity, allowing for open, productive conversations where everyone feels heard and respected. 

Here’s how to start:

  1. Manage your emotions. Before engaging, check in with yourself. If you’re frustrated or angry, take a moment to calm down. Deep breaths or a brief pause can make a huge difference in setting a positive tone.
  2. State what you see objectively. Stick to the facts. Instead of saying, “You never finish things on time,” try, “I noticed the project wasn’t completed by the deadline.” This avoids blame and keeps the conversation neutral.
  3. Validate their experience. Show the other person that you understand their feelings. Use phrases like, “I get how this situation could have been frustrating for you.” When people feel understood, they’re more likely to open up and collaborate.

By following these three steps, you create a safe, respectful environment that fosters honest conversation and problem-solving. Want to take it further? Join my masterclass on Collaborative Communication, where we’ll dive deeper into the full process and explore ways to apply these skills in your workplace and at home. Registration is required and you can do so here.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health, employees get coaching sessions at no cost to them. You can book a coaching session here


P.P.S. Liked what you read? Join my email list, where I dive deeper into these concepts and teach you HOW to put them into practice in your everyday life. And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram (@christineseager_) or Facebook (@seager.christine), where I share both teaching moments and real-life examples of this work in action. 

Four Types of Burnout: How to Spot Them and What to Do

Let’s be honest—burnout in healthcare is real. And it doesn’t show up the same way for everyone. Whether you’re caring for patients or managing a team, the daily grind can leave you feeling exhausted, stressed, and wondering if you’ve got anything left to give. The good news is—you’re not alone, and there’s a way through it.

Let’s talk about the four types of burnout that healthcare providers often face, how to spot them, and what you can do to start feeling better.

Emotional Burnout

What It Looks Like:
You know that feeling when you’re on your way to work and you’re already emotionally drained? That’s emotional burnout. Frustration is simmering just beneath the surface, and connecting with your patients or coworkers feels like a huge effort.

How to Spot It:

  • You’re emotionally exhausted before your shift even starts.
  • You’ve hit a wall when it comes to showing empathy.
  • You feel frustrated or irritated more often than not.

What to Do About It:
Take care of you first. Set some boundaries around how much you’re giving at work, and make sure you’re spending time on things that recharge your emotional tank, whether that’s journaling or even a quick walk outside.


Physical Burnout

What It Looks Like:
Ever feel like no amount of sleep is enough? Or that your body’s constantly aching, even when you haven’t done anything strenuous? Physical burnout is your body’s way of telling you it needs a break—and fast.

How to Spot It:

  • You’re always tired, no matter how much rest you get.
  • You’re catching every cold or bug going around.
  • Your body just feels… worn out.

What to Do About It:
Let’s start with the basics—sleep, hydration, water, and movement. I know it’s easier said than done, but your body needs it. Take mini breaks throughout the day, even if it’s just a few minutes to breathe or stretch. And when you’re off the clock, make time for low-impact activities that help you recharge physically.


Mental Burnout

What It Looks Like:
When you’ve been juggling a million decisions, and suddenly, your brain feels like it’s on strike. Mental burnout shows up as difficulty focusing, forgetfulness, and feeling like even small decisions are overwhelming.

How to Spot It:

  • You can’t concentrate, or you feel mentally foggy all the time.
  • You’re struggling to make even simple decisions.
  • You feel scattered and disorganized.

What to Do About It:
Slow down and take things one step at a time. Break up your tasks into smaller chunks and establish priorities. Writing things down can help clear your mental clutter and bring some clarity. And if you need to, give yourself time to pause.


Compassion Fatigue

What It Looks Like:
This one hits close to home for a lot of us in healthcare. Compassion fatigue is when you’ve given and given, and there’s just nothing left. You still care about your patients or your team, but showing that empathy feels almost impossible.

How to Spot It:

  • You feel detached or emotionally distant from those you’re helping.
  • Helping others no longer feels fulfilling.
  • You’re emotionally numb, like you’re running on empty.

What to Do About It:
Take time to reconnect with why you got into healthcare in the first place. Lean on your team for support when you need it, and don’t be afraid to step away emotionally when a situation is too draining. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so give yourself the space to refill it.


Moving Forward: Burnout Isn’t Permanent

Here’s the thing—burnout, in any of its forms, doesn’t have to be permanent. You can feel better. The first step is recognizing what type of burnout you’re experiencing and then taking small steps toward recovery. Remember, you don’t have to do this alone.

I specialize in helping people like you find balance, manage stress, and rebuild confidence. If you’re feeling burned out, let’s chat. You can book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation here.

Logan Health employees receive complimentary coaching, and I’d love to support you in getting back to a place where you feel energized and fulfilled at work and in life.

Take a small step today. Let’s work together to beat burnout and bring more balance back into your life.

This IS the Journey

I used to be the woman constantly running—dropping Tara off at school, juggling work, soccer, ski lessons, and home (all with a supportive and helpful husband) while trying to squeeze everything into a 24-hour day that never felt long enough. I gave everything I had—my energy, my love, my time—to everyone else, including my family, my job, and my friends. And whenever I tried to carve out a little space for myself, it felt impossible, like there wasn’t enough time.

I looked at other women and wondered how they had it all figured out. They seemed to be doing something that I was missing. I felt like I was failing, like something was wrong with me because I couldn’t seem to crack the code. And I was exhausted from trying.

But here’s what I learned: nothing had gone wrong, and nothing was wrong with me. The only real difference between me and those other women? They believed they could figure it out, so they kept trying. They didn’t have some secret formula or hidden knowledge that I didn’t. They were just doing life—just like me.

They experimented with different routines, schedules, and ideas. When things didn’t work out, they didn’t label it as a failure. They saw it as part of the process and kept moving forward, adjusting as they went.

Once I realized that, I stopped believing everyone else had it figured out while I didn’t. I started making small changes and gave myself permission to let it be messy. I stopped trying to cram everything into a perfect 24-hour container and started focusing on what worked for me. I saw that I was not failing at life. I was living it. This was the process; it was the journey.

And I want you to know that if this resonates with you, I can help you go from feeling overwhelmed and exhausted to feeling more in control. Together, we’ll focus on practical strategies for managing your time, prioritizing what matters to you, and making small, meaningful changes. You don’t have to figure it out alone. I’ll be there to support you as you find what works so that you can live a life you truly love.

If you want an easy way to come and see what I’m all about, join the How to Manage Your Time Masterclass on Wednesday, September 11, at 11 AM. Registration is required, and you can do so here.

I’ll be there waiting for you with open arms. I’ve got you. 💕💕

P.S. Reminder: Employees get free coaching sessions as part of Logan Health’s benefits. You can book a coaching session here.

P.P.S. Liked what you read? Join my email list, where I dive deeper into these concepts and teach you how to put them into practice in your everyday life. And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram (@christineseager_) or Facebook (@seager.christine), where I share teaching moments and real-life examples of this work in action.

The Cost of Poor Time Management

(Why It’s Hurting You More Than You Think)

As a healthcare professional, you’re no stranger to pressure. Long shifts, endless to-do lists, and constant multitasking are part of the job. But what if I told you that poor time management might cost you more than just a few extra minutes each day?

I see it all the time with the nurses and healthcare workers I coach: the creeping stress that builds when your day feels out of control. You feel like you’re constantly running behind, never quite catching up. And the worst part? It starts to spill over into your personal life, leaving you feeling overwhelmed, drained, and disconnected—even when you’re not at work.

The truth is, poor time management doesn’t just affect your productivity at work—it impacts every area of your life. Here’s how it might be affecting you:

Burnout: The constant race against the clock piles on stress, which—if left unchecked—can quickly lead to burnout. This leaves you feeling emotionally and physically depleted, unable to recharge.

Patient Care: Struggling to manage your time doesn’t just affect you– it can also compromise the quality of patient care. When you’re stretched too thin, being present, focused, and effective with your patients becomes more difficult.

Personal Life: Perhaps the biggest hidden cost of poor time management is that it doesn’t stay at work. Instead, it follows you home. You may find yourself unable to fully enjoy your time off because your mind is stuck on what didn’t get done at work.

This happens because our brains aren’t designed to handle constant stress and multitasking—at least not efficiently. As a healthcare professional, you’re likely experiencing decision fatigue, cognitive overload, and a stress response that makes managing your time feel impossible.

But here’s the good news: simply understanding *why* this happens is the first step toward changing it.

During my upcoming webinar, “How to Manage Your Time,” I’ll be diving deeper into the neuroscience behind why time feels out of control and how understanding this can help you take back control of your day.

Here’s the thing: this isn’t just about throwing more time management tips your way. It’s about equipping you with strategies to help you maximize your time without burning out. In the webinar, we’ll cover:

  ~ Why your brain struggles with time management

  ~ The hidden costs of poor time management that you might not even realize are there

  ~ How mastering time management can improve patient care, reduce burnout, and help you reclaim control of your life

Want to know more? I’ll teach how during the webinar, but for a full transformation, one-on-one coaching offers a deeper dive into personalized strategies that work specifically for you.

If you’re tired of feeling like time is slipping through your fingers, I invite you to join me for the masterclass. Or, if you’re ready for more personalized help, book a complimentary consultation or sign up for a one-on-one coaching session (especially if you’re a Logan Health employee- see below!).

It’s time to reclaim your time—and your life.

P.S. You can register for this masterclass with this link:  https://us06web.zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_tP782ZC1T9WmQDSiy13IwQ

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book yours here

The Difference Between & Solutions for Burnout & Overwhelm

Burnout is defined as a person in a state of physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress. 

It happens when you are producing results– like your hair is on fire, but you’re pushing through it, still working, still doing. It might look like things are fine, but you’re slowly dying on the inside. 

People think this happens when we work too many hours or too hard, but not necessarily. You can work many hours and still not get burned out, and you can work very hard and not get burned out. It’s the thoughts behind it, the attitude that leads to burnout. 

When I worked in the ER, I likened this to the difference between a busy day and a cluster eff day. We could see 60 patients in a 12-hour shift, and things could go smoothly, like clockwork, or we could see 30 patients in 12 hours & it could be a cluster— a big difference. In either case, everything could go sideways, but you can think: this always happens to me. Or you can think: this is what happens in a busy ER; this is just part of the deal. This is what I signed up for. 

Burnout happens when you’re trying to outrun a negative emotion. 

The solution is to give yourself more space. Relax, slow down, and be more intentional with your actions. Work smarter, not harder. Rest, take a break if you can. Manage your mind. Purposefully direct it to better thoughts. 

For example: 

  • I signed up for this when I took this job. 
  • People are out enjoying the nice weather; of course, there are a lot of injuries now. 
  • Tourists are also trying to enjoy the outdoors. Sometimes, they don’t know what they’re doing and make poor decisions, which can be costly—both physically and financially. 
  • I’m glad they’re here, and I’m equipped to help them. 

Overwhelm is defined as being overcome completely; to overpower, especially with superior force, to cover or bury beneath a mass of something.

Overwhelm happens when you are not producing results, like when your hair is on fire and you’re running around in circles.

It’s an emotion, a way for your brain to stay comfortable because when we feel overwhelmed, we often resist, react, or distract (aka. do nothing; take no action; spin our wheels). 

The good news is— because it is an emotion, you have control over it. Since you are creating it, you can change and manage your overwhelm. 

Overwhelm looks like feeling confused about what to do (how to get started or what to do next). You might have an unclear plan and procrastinate, thinking, “I don’t know what to do; I’m just so busy.” 

But it doesn’t have anything to do with your to-do list. It has to do with the thoughts in your brain about how overwhelmed you feel. You’re likely spending more time thinking overwhelming thoughts than actually doing things or taking action. (Also, notice that if you have a to-do list, then you actually know what to do, so check your list.) 

You can tell this is you because you see that you haven’t actually done much. You’re spinning, not creating. 

The solution is to plan and then do; take action. Make decisions: Pick one thing and do it, then the next, and the next. Constrain to doing one thing at a time, not all of the things at once. Take intentional action and get things done. All while managing your mind—not letting it run amok, thinking overwhelming thoughts, and creating the feeling of overwhelm. 

Knowing the difference between burnout and overwhelm will help you determine solutions to mitigate each in your life so that you can create and live a life you love rather than just going through the motions.

What are your thoughts? What are your questions? What would you love to learn more about here? Leave your comments below.


Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here

You can register for the next free Christine Seager Coaching Masterclass on How to Change Your Self-Concept by registering here.

The Solution to Overthinking

Overthinking is a way our brains keep us small, safe, and exactly where we are.

Let’s say you have a career decision to make. Should you stay in your current position or start a new job with a different company?

You don’t know the “right” answer because you don’t fully know what it will be like once you get there.

Will it be easier or harder?
Can you make the same amount of money you make now?
What will the people you work with be like?
What about your new boss?
What will the hours be (not what they say they will be)?
What sort of support will you have?
Will they deliver on their promises?

You can’t tell how this will work out for you until you get there, no matter how much research you do or what questions you ask.

Getting data is undoubtedly helpful, but no one can decide for you.

And you will never have a 100% guarantee, either way.

So, I suggest you simply DECIDE.

Ask yourself: if either way was the “right” decision, what do you WANT to do?

Then go & make that BE the right decision.

Go all in on that decision.

I’m Christine. I’m a RESULTS coach. This means I help my clients have, do, be, or achieve anything they want in life– because life is too short to be so miserable.

I have a few one-on-one coaching spots available, starting in April.

You can check out at my next free monthly masterclass, How to Create More Fun, on March 13. Registration is required; you can do so here.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here

People Pleasers Are Liars?!

I recently heard that people pleasers are liars, and at first, I was like, “What?! No!”

But after consideration, I can see how it’s true.

Let’s say your desired result is to lose weight.

Your sister visits and brings you a box of baked goods from a fantastic bakery near her.

She’s excited to share these treats with you, but you know these treats are not on your dietary plan and may hinder your progress in losing weight.

But you also don’t want to tell her no because, after all, she went through the trouble of buying and bringing them to you; she wants to make you happy, and you don’t want to make her upset.

What are your options?

If you say yes to her, you are saying no to yourself, to your goals & dreams.

And you are lying because your genuine desire is to lose weight, not to eat the treats. (I mean, let’s be real, you probably want to eat the treats AND lose weight, but that’s not how weight loss actually works.)

So, what to do?

First, decide how you want to show up to this.

Maybe you want to be kind and gracious.

Consider– what would someone loving, kind & gracious do?

They might say, “Thank you so much for this generous gift. I love you so much, and I’m touched that you thought of me. I’m sorry I didn’t share this previously, but I’m working towards losing weight. Treats like these are not on my food protocol. Would you like me to keep them for you or share them with our neighbor?”

You can be loving, kind & gracious, AND responsible for yourself, staying true to your weight loss goal.

And your sister can be responsible for herself– for her thoughts, feelings & actions, too.

This is how we create and live a life we love.

P.S. As a reminder, as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here

P.P.S. You can get in early and register for the next free monthly Christine Seager Coaching Masterclass on How to Create More Fun by registering here.

distraction

Are you someone who is easily distracted? If so, this one is for you. 

Being easily distracted can lead to frustration, feeling overwhelmed, anxiousness, or stress. 

If you even catch yourself being distracted in the first place, you might think: 

“What is wrong with me? Why can’t I stay focused?”

“I can’t ever get anything done.” 

“Why can’t I focus on just one thing like everyone else?” 

Or 

“It takes me forever & I’ll never catch up when I can’t get things completed.” 

You know staying focused will help you be more productive, save time, and achieve your goals, but how can you do that? 

Well, a few ways. 

First, mindset: 

“I can learn how to do this.” 

“I am in control of my attention.” 

“I can try a few different things until I find something that works.”

Or

“I am improving my productivity.” 

The strategy: 

  1. Notice what you’re doing that has you distracted. I.E., is your phone in your hand when you’re supposed to be getting ready for work? Or you’re talking to your family when you should have been out the door already? See if you can determine your thoughts just before you picked up your phone. 
  2. Repeat in your head what you are doing, what task you are completing. I.E., I’m getting dressed. Or I’m gathering my lunch. Or, I’m writing an article. One part of your brain can focus on the task & the other part is reminding your brain of what you’re focusing on. 
  3. You can set a timer. A metronome may help, too– the ticking sound can be a constant reminder to stay on task until the task is complete. 

It’s helpful to realize that being easily distracted is not a problem; it’s something you can figure out how to work with so you can stay better focused & achieve your goals. 

change (happening to you)

When you feel like changes are happening to you,

Like you have no control over your job, your life, or things happening around you,

You think the changes are unnecessary or that you don’t have time, or you’ll never quite get the hang of it,

When you feel frustrated, angry, stressed, and overwhelmed,

You complain to your co-workers, feel disrespected by your boss, and worry about the security of your job,

Your relationships might suffer, you may miss growth opportunities, and you will likely perform less effectively.

And you surely will not get the hang of it.

But if you consider how the changes might be good,
if you remember that you have the potential to learn and adapt,
if you decide to embrace changes and be a valuable resource in helping others,

You will feel more optimistic, proud, confident, and accomplished.

You will then be more likely to participate in training and education related to changes.

You could be a resource and lead by example.

And then you will surely get the hang of it.

And maybe even like your job even more.

If this sounds good, but you don’t know HOW, join me THIS Wednesday, October 25, 2023, at noon MT for my free monthly masterclass on Handling Change. Registration is required– you can do so here.

P.S. Did you know that coaching is peer-reviewed? Dr. Tyra Fainstad, MD, Dr. Adrienne Mann, MD, and Dr. Krithika Suresh, Ph.D., et al, conducted a study of over 1,000 women residents and fellow physicians, enrolling about half of them in a group coaching program while the other half did not receive any coaching. Their research found that coaching drastically improves burnout, imposter syndrome, and self-compassion (among other things). Click here to read the study that was published in The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) or here to read it on PubMed.