Category: self-awareness

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MIRRORING

Have you ever noticed how we tend to mirror one another? It’s a natural part of human interaction. When someone is upset, we often find ourselves feeling upset as well. If someone is critical, we might respond with our own criticism. This mirroring happens instinctively, but with some awareness, we can manage it and use it to better help ourselves and others.

How Mirroring Works

Mirroring means we think, feel, and do what we want the other person to think, feel, and do. It’s like holding up a mirror to their behavior. If someone is kind to us, we will likely be kind in return. But if someone is negative, we might reflect that negativity back at them. This process can work both positively and negatively.

The problem is that our default setting often leans towards negativity. It’s easy to get caught up in a cycle of negative thoughts and emotions, especially in challenging situations. But here’s the good news: we can override this default setting. By becoming aware of our reactions, we can choose to respond differently.

A Common Example: The Critical Mother-in-Law

Imagine your mother-in-law is constantly criticizing you. She judges your decisions, offers unsolicited advice, and seems to believe that you’re doing everything wrong. Naturally, you might think, “She shouldn’t criticize me; she shouldn’t judge me; she should be nicer; she should mind her own business.”

But take a moment to notice what’s happening here. You think she’s doing it wrong—exactly what she’s thinking about you. You’re both caught in a cycle of judgment and negativity.

Feelings: A Reflection of Each Other’s Emotions

Mirroring also happens with emotions. If someone you care about is upset, you might get upset that they’re upset. Or if they’re worried, you start worrying about how much they’re worrying. This emotional mirroring can amplify the situation, leading to even more distress for both parties.

Actions: Reacting in Kind

Our actions often mirror the actions of others. If someone yells at you, it’s easy to start yelling back. If someone shows up upset, you might match their mood. But what if you didn’t have to react this way? What if there was another option?

Breaking the Cycle: Awareness Is Key

The truth is, their thoughts don’t affect you. What affects you is your own thoughts, feelings, and actions. You might think you’re mad because your mother-in-law is judging you, but in reality, you’re mad because of your own judgment of her—and maybe even your own self-judgment.

So, ask yourself: In what way have I become the exact thing that I disapprove of in them? Identifying this is not about shaming yourself or thinking you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way. It’s simply about awareness. “Oh, I get it; that’s what’s going on for me. That’s why I’m feeling this way.”

Sometimes, just being aware of what’s happening is enough to help you put it down. When you understand that you’re mirroring the other person’s negativity, you can choose to respond differently. You can choose not to mirror their anger, judgment, or worry. Instead, you can decide how you want to think, feel, and act.

The Power of Choice

Mirroring is a natural part of our interactions, but it doesn’t have to control us. By being aware of how we’re mirroring others, we can choose our responses. We can break the cycle of negativity and create more positive, constructive interactions. It starts with awareness and deciding to override these “default” settings.

Remember, you don’t have to be what you disapprove of in others. You can choose a different path.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book a remote or Zoom coaching session here. 

P.S. You can register for the next free Christine Seager Coaching Masterclass on What to Do When You’re Not Getting Results by clicking here. 

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your self-concept

If you struggle to meet your goals and often let yourself down, this is for you. To be clear, this one is about your self-concept rather than the actions you do (or don’t) take.

You probably often hear me talking about creating and living a life you love. 

Your self-concept is how you CREATE your life rather than just life happening TO you.

It’s about deciding in advance what you want for your life and who you must be to create that life. 

If you’re trying to create results in your life and taking lots of action without addressing your self-concept, it will not work. 

If who you are being doesn’t match the results you’re working to create, you will sabotage your results every single time. 

For example, if you identify as someone who is overwhelmed, overwhelm the result you will produce. 

You simply cannot create results without changing your identity and your self-concept.

Here’s how to change your self-concept: 

  1. Assess—where are you now, and where do you want to be? 
  2. Define—why do you want it? Why is it important to you? And who do you need to be to get it? Consult with your future self. 
  3. Decide—what you want to change. What can you do to get from here to there, and where do you want to start? If necessary, borrow from other areas where you have created change. Consider how you did it and apply that here. 
  4. Plan and implement while also becoming the person who creates new results. 
  5. Evaluate your results—Find evidence that who you are becoming and what you are doing is working. Then, see what you might want to try differently (if anything). 

Then, as I love to say—wash, rinse, repeat; this is an ongoing process. 

This is how life works. We are constantly evolving and striving for the next thing. When we’re done, we’re dead, so learn to appreciate the journey.

If this interests you and you would like to learn more about changing your self-concept, join me via Zoom on Wednesday, July 17th, at 11 AM MT for the next FREE monthly masterclass. Registration is required, and you can do so by clicking here.

As a reminder, as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, you are entitled to fully confidential coaching at no cost to you. (Yes, it’s free for you). You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. If you have any questions, just email me at Christine@christineseager.com.

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The Difference Between & Solutions for Burnout & Overwhelm

Burnout is defined as a person in a state of physical or mental collapse caused by overwork or stress. 

It happens when you are producing results– like your hair is on fire, but you’re pushing through it, still working, still doing. It might look like things are fine, but you’re slowly dying on the inside. 

People think this happens when we work too many hours or too hard, but not necessarily. You can work many hours and still not get burned out, and you can work very hard and not get burned out. It’s the thoughts behind it, the attitude that leads to burnout. 

When I worked in the ER, I likened this to the difference between a busy day and a cluster eff day. We could see 60 patients in a 12-hour shift, and things could go smoothly, like clockwork, or we could see 30 patients in 12 hours & it could be a cluster— a big difference. In either case, everything could go sideways, but you can think: this always happens to me. Or you can think: this is what happens in a busy ER; this is just part of the deal. This is what I signed up for. 

Burnout happens when you’re trying to outrun a negative emotion. 

The solution is to give yourself more space. Relax, slow down, and be more intentional with your actions. Work smarter, not harder. Rest, take a break if you can. Manage your mind. Purposefully direct it to better thoughts. 

For example: 

  • I signed up for this when I took this job. 
  • People are out enjoying the nice weather; of course, there are a lot of injuries now. 
  • Tourists are also trying to enjoy the outdoors. Sometimes, they don’t know what they’re doing and make poor decisions, which can be costly—both physically and financially. 
  • I’m glad they’re here, and I’m equipped to help them. 

Overwhelm is defined as being overcome completely; to overpower, especially with superior force, to cover or bury beneath a mass of something.

Overwhelm happens when you are not producing results, like when your hair is on fire and you’re running around in circles.

It’s an emotion, a way for your brain to stay comfortable because when we feel overwhelmed, we often resist, react, or distract (aka. do nothing; take no action; spin our wheels). 

The good news is— because it is an emotion, you have control over it. Since you are creating it, you can change and manage your overwhelm. 

Overwhelm looks like feeling confused about what to do (how to get started or what to do next). You might have an unclear plan and procrastinate, thinking, “I don’t know what to do; I’m just so busy.” 

But it doesn’t have anything to do with your to-do list. It has to do with the thoughts in your brain about how overwhelmed you feel. You’re likely spending more time thinking overwhelming thoughts than actually doing things or taking action. (Also, notice that if you have a to-do list, then you actually know what to do, so check your list.) 

You can tell this is you because you see that you haven’t actually done much. You’re spinning, not creating. 

The solution is to plan and then do; take action. Make decisions: Pick one thing and do it, then the next, and the next. Constrain to doing one thing at a time, not all of the things at once. Take intentional action and get things done. All while managing your mind—not letting it run amok, thinking overwhelming thoughts, and creating the feeling of overwhelm. 

Knowing the difference between burnout and overwhelm will help you determine solutions to mitigate each in your life so that you can create and live a life you love rather than just going through the motions.

What are your thoughts? What are your questions? What would you love to learn more about here? Leave your comments below.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

You can register for the next free Christine Seager Coaching Masterclass on How to Change Your Self-Concept by registering here.

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under-living

Are you under-living? 

It might look like: 

~ a job you don’t love. 

~ relationships that are more stressful than joyful. 

~ travel you’re not taking. 

~ time you’re not spending doing what you love to do. 

~ feeling like a robot going from one required task to the next. 

You’re so annoyed with where you’ve wound up, with what you’re doing with your one wild and precious life. 

(You hate to admit that you feel like you might be wasting it.) 

You want more. 

You have dreams. 

You wish you could just step out of your life into a different one. 

Or maybe you like most of your life if only you could

~ be a better parent. 

~ have a different body. 

~ be a better manager. 

~ feel more confident. 

~ make more time. 

~ have a better marriage. 

~ feel in control of your life at large. 

~ could have more excitement & adventure like you used to. 

You feel stuck, frustrated, disappointed, and discouraged, and you have basically given up on remembering what you love to do. 

You want to make changes, but it feels overwhelming. 

You worry that it may not be possible for you. 

You don’t know where to start. 

You don’t know what to do. 

You don’t follow through. 

You aren’t consistent. 

So things just stay the same. 

Even though you so desperately want a different experience for yourself, your life, and your family. 

Please know that under-living is optional. 

You can opt-out.

And opt-in to living a life you truly love. 

It IS possible. 

You can have all of those things—be a better parent, have a better body, be a better manager, feel more confident, make more time, have a better marriage (have better relationships), feel in control of your life, have more excitement and adventures—live a life you love. 

And here’s the kicker– nothing outside of you has to change. 

It starts with you, just you, and your brain—where you choose to focus and how you choose to manage your mind. 

If you want to learn how, book an appointment or set up a consultation. We’ll discuss what you’re looking for specifically, and I’ll tell you how coaching can help. Then, the fun part—we’ll get to work creating a life you love. 

Go from this:

To this:

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jealousy

Jealousy often gets a bad rap. It’s usually seen as a negative emotion that breeds resentment and unhappiness. But what if we could flip the script on jealousy and view it as an indicator of our own desires and aspirations? Instead of letting envy fester, we can use it as a catalyst for personal and professional growth. Here’s how this unconventional take on jealousy could play out in your life.


Imagine you’re a nurse who feels jealous of a colleague who recently received a promotion to a managerial position. Instead of stewing in resentment, recognize that this jealousy is highlighting your own desire for career advancement. You want to be recognized for your hard work and dedication, too. Use this realization as motivation to seek out leadership training, take on more responsibilities, or speak with your supervisor about your career goals. By doing so, you can position yourself for future promotions and achieve the professional success you crave.


If you are a physician, you may feel envious of a fellow doctor who perfectly balances their demanding job with a vibrant personal life, including ample family time and engaging hobbies. This jealousy reveals your own yearning for a better work-life balance. Start by assessing your current schedule and identifying areas where you can delegate tasks or streamline processes. Prioritize self-care and set boundaries to ensure you have time for personal interests and family. By making these changes, you can enjoy a more fulfilling and balanced life.


Perhaps you’re a medical technician who feels jealous of another technician with specialized skills that lead to more interesting assignments and higher pay. This envy is simply your inner voice telling you that you want to develop your own expertise. Look for opportunities to attend workshops, earn certifications, or take advanced courses in your field. By enhancing your skills, you’ll open doors to exciting assignments and greater recognition.


As a healthcare assistant, you might envy a colleague attending a prestigious continuing education program or medical school. This jealousy points to your own aspirations for further education and career advancement. Research educational opportunities that align with your interests and goals, and take steps to apply for programs or scholarships. Investing in your education will pave the way for a brighter and more rewarding future.


Imagine you’re a junior doctor feeling jealous of an experienced doctor who has a strong rapport with patients and is often requested by name. This envy indicates your desire to build similar relationships with your patients. Focus on developing your communication skills and empathy. Take time to listen to your patients and understand their concerns. By doing so, you’ll build trust and rapport, becoming a beloved and respected doctor in your own right.


If you’re a healthcare researcher feeling envious of a peer who frequently publishes in high-impact journals and is invited to speak at conferences, this jealousy highlights your ambition for academic recognition. Channel this energy into your own research projects. Collaborate with colleagues, seek mentorship, and dedicate time to writing and submitting your work for publication. By committing to your research, you’ll gain recognition and make significant contributions to medical knowledge.

The key to transforming jealousy into action is to recognize it as a signal of your own desires. Once you’ve identified what you want, take proactive steps to achieve it.

  1. Assess: Reflect on what specifically triggers your jealousy. What does this person have that you want?
  2. Plan: Define what achieving this desire looks like for you. Set specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals.
  3. Implement: Develop a plan to work towards your goals. This might include seeking additional training, networking, or making lifestyle changes.
  4. Commit: Remember that achieving your dreams takes time and effort. Stay committed to your goals, and be patient with yourself.

By turning jealousy into a driving force for positive change, you’ll not only make your dreams come true but also experience additional benefits:

You’ll feel more energized as you work towards your goals.
Your self-improvement will help you grow personally and professionally.
Achieving your desires will lead to a greater sense of fulfillment and happiness.
Focusing on your own growth rather than comparing (and despairing) yourself with others can lead to healthier and more positive relationships.
You can inspire those around you to pursue their own dreams and aspirations.

Jealousy does not have to be a problem. Instead, you can view it as a powerful indicator of what you want in life. By recognizing and acting on these desires, you can transform envy into action and create a fulfilling and successful life.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

P.P.S. You can register for the next free Christine Seager Coaching Masterclass on How to Change Your Self-Concept by registering here.

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rock star

When I went to my husband’s work Christmas party in December, 

I felt like a rock star & I can’t even tell you how fabulous that was.

I didn’t even really realize how much less stress & anxiety I was feeling until I was in the shower, getting ready. 

(Isn’t all of our best thinking done in the shower?)

I compared my feelings for this Christmas party to one I attended just a year ago.

I was a complete hot mess.

I felt inadequate, insecure, anxious, exposed, & had dread.

I had all the negative self-talk, 

100% of which was untrue, 

but I 100% believed it.

I didn’t have anything “good” to wear, my hair was a mess, & I felt fat. 

I tried to force myself to feel better while feeling like a complete sh*t-show on the inside. 

It didn’t work & instead, I had a meltdown.

After being fully dressed & 80% ready to go, I took off all my clothes to regroup & start over.

I even took another shower– sweaty & wanting to wash the tear stains from my face.

I was more than an hour late to that party.

This year, I Marco Polo’d with some girlfriends to get their input on my outfit.

I felt like I looked amazing. 

I got showered, dressed, & ready with zero drama.

I felt comfortable and confident.

I openly approached & initiated conversations with people.

I felt so good & grateful; words are inadequate to describe it accurately,

but I can feel it in my heart– like my heart aches with goodness & gratitude

for myself,

for my work on me,

for my coaches, 

& for the coaching I do with my clients, too.

So, what changed?

I got coached and learned 

• how to build self-trust

• how to manage my mind

• how to manage my negative emotions & create better feelings 

• how to have fun & so much less anxiety

And you can, too.

If you want to feel like a rock star,

If you want to be able to get ready for an event without a hot mess meltdown,

If you want friends who will give you Marco Polo outfit advice,

I can help you. 

You can join me for a free monthly webinar about How to Build Self-Trust on 1/31/24 at 11 AM MT. Register here. 

Or, you can book a consultation here. 

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

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what if

You think you can’t, but WHAT IF you could?

You might think, but I don’t know how.

You might think you don’t have the money.

Or the time,

Or you couldn’t possibly do that right now,

It’s too busy, and

There are other things you “should” do.

It feels impossible,

Or selfish,

Or too hard.

And you feel stuck,

Maybe lack,

Definitely frustrated.

You stay right there.

You don’t see how it could be possible.

You remain miserable in your own life.

Instead, consider:

What DO you know?

This is how you get started.

You see possibility.

If you see someone else do it,

Then, know it’s available for you to do, too.

How COULD you create more money?

How COULD you find the time?

How COULD you possibly do that right now?

How COULD you do that now, even when it’s busy?

Who says there are other things you “should” do & do you want to listen to them?

How could it be possible?

How is it selfish NOT to?

How could it be EASY to do?

How could you get UNstuck?

How could there be plenty?

What DO you know?

Start there, 

See possibility, 

Then, decide how you want to move forward, 

In creating and LIVING a life you love.

If you want to be EMPOWERED to create amazing results in your life, 

If you want to learn how to create a clear, specific, actionable & repeatable plan, 

If you want to learn how to implement (even when it’s uncomfortable), 

Book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation where you can tell me what results you would love to create, and I will tell you how I can help.

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a study of one

You can do a study of one. 

Just you. 

And you can apply the scientific process to yourself. 

What is the goal? 

Gather information. 

Form a hypothesis.

Test with an experiment.

What are the results? 

Analyze the results- what worked, what didn’t, and what would you like to do differently?

State your conclusion. 

For example, 

Goal: get the most out of the rest of summer. 

Cool! 

How might you like to do that? What is your hypothesis? 

Hypothesis: try different beach activities– swimming, reading, picnicking, beach games, fishing. 

Experiment: schedule your beach activities & try them one at a time. 

Data: Take notes on the activity you participated in, the level of joy you/ your family experienced, and how you felt. 

Analyze: Which activities netted the best results? What worked, what didn’t work, and what do you want to do differently? 

Adjust based on your analysis. If necessary, create a new hypothesis to explore and repeat the process. 

Other examples: 

Discover new local restaurants to enjoy during the summer.

Develop your photography skills and capture the essence of summer.

Embrace the spirit of adventure and push your boundaries with outdoor activities.

You can apply this to literally anything, and it’s so easy to do when it’s an experiment of one- just you. 

If you’d like to learn more about How to Get the Most Out of the Rest of Summer (& other applications for the scientific process in your life), join me on Wednesday, July 26, 2023, at 11 AM MT for my next free Masterclass. Registration is required; you can do so here.

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the cure for overwhelm

Vagueness leads to overwhelm.

And the cure for overwhelm is specificity.

What exactly is it that has you feeling overwhelmed?

Be specific.

Then check in- is it true?

(Often, that alone will be sufficient when you see it’s not true.)

Try this:
I don’t have enough time.

Take a step back & take a look at it; get specific & objective.
What does not enough time mean?
How much time do you need?
What, specifically, do you need time for?
How much time do you think that will take?
How much time do you actually have?
Are you using that time to the best of your ability?
Is there somewhere you “wring out” more time?
Can you batch things?
Is everything on your list a priority?
Is there someone you can delegate to?
How might you be able to create more time?

When you’re able to get more specific & objective,
you can more clearly see what you’re working with

And from there, you have more brain space to develop more creative solutions.

Be specific & break it down.

If you feel overwhelmed and struggle with time management, I can help; book a consultation now!

Logan Health Whitefish Employees, book an in-person coaching session here; or a remote coaching session (via phone or Zoom) here.

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self-doubt

Do you feel inadequate and full of self-doubt? 

You feel frustrated & resent your boss; you think she’s power-tripping. 

You want a better work-life balance. Lots less work/ lots more life, of- course. 

You constantly try to figure out how you can work fewer hours AND get the bills paid. 

You know you do a good job, but your brain is more likely to remind you of where you’re lacking than of your good work. 

You have a vague sense of dissatisfaction & constantly feel like something is missing. 

You aren’t happy, you aren’t even content & you lack motivation for everything you want to do (not just work, but at home, too). 

You’re constantly exhausted & frankly, just over it. 

I challenge you to seek out your unique strengths & talents and recognize what makes you you. 

When you identify what is holding you back,

And you see where you are holding yourself back,

And you decide to step into who you truly are at your core,

And share that with the world–

You will have a greater sense of fulfillment. 

You will build a stronger & more connected relationship with yourself & those whom you choose to share yourself with. 

You will have more motivation & be energized. 

You will have the capacity to find a better work-life balance. 

You will create & live a life you love for you by you (and this does not mean at the exclusion of others). 

How? 

~ take proactive steps to improve your self-confidence & overcome your self-limiting beliefs
~ actively pursue opportunities to create a more fulfilling work environment or explore part-time options
~ engage in activities that bring you joy & fulfillment
~ have the courage to seek something different 
~ be willing to take action, even when it’s uncomfortable 

If you struggle with this or don’t know what to do or how to do it– I would be honored to support you. I have done this work myself & this is exactly what I help my clients with. Reach out. Let’s talk. Click here to take the first step & book your complimentary, no-obligation consultation.

As a reminder, for LHW employees, coaching is free! Click here to book your in-person coaching session or here for a remote coaching session.