Category: relationships

Posted on

stuck in a rut

If you’re someone who feels stuck in a rut, this one is for you. 

I was recently revisiting Gretchen Rubins’ book The Happiness Project. When I read, “I wasn’t depressed, and I wasn’t having a midlife crisis, but I was suffering from midlife malaise– a recurrent sense of discontent and almost a feeling of disbelief… Is this really it?” 

She went on, “… though at times I felt dissatisfied, that something was missing, I also never forgot how fortunately I was… I had everything I could possibly want– yet I was failing to appreciate it. Bogged down in petty complaints and passing crises, weary of struggling with my own nature… I wasn’t as happy as I could be, and my life wasn’t going to change unless I made it change.” 

This. This was me in 2018. I could NOT figure out what was missing from my life. 

It turns out it was me, and in time, I learned that:

~ I was not stuck; I had more control over my life than I thought. 

~ I was not appreciating what I had, instead of choosing to seek the good in my everyday life.

~ And I was not expanding that by taking a few seconds or even a minute to soak it all in– absorbing it into my core. 

So, if you are someone who feels stuck in a rut– what can you do differently? 

Start with the things listed above, but then also:

Switch things up by driving a different route to work, pick up a new activity (or rediscover an old one), and reach out to family or friends to connect with. 

You can meet new people and offer to meet someone for coffee, join a gym, or other group of like-minded people. 

You might like to start with a clean space, so declutter your home, workspace, or closet. 

Just try different things until you find the things you like to do. 

I recently signed up for Flathead Area Mountain Bike’s Women’s Clinics. My family was shocked and asked why I suddenly wanted to start mountain biking. My bike is 20 years old and I can probably count on two hands how many times I’ve mountain biked in those 20 years, but I wanted to do something different. I also thought I might like it better if I learned how to mountain bike properly. And, I’m in better shape than I have been; I now have more stamina. (I know what they mean when they say it’s time in the seat. They’re talking about building muscle, which takes time and consistency.) 

I’m loving it. It’s challenging mentally and physically. Am I still sometimes getting frustrated with what I can’t do? Sure, but I’m able to take it in stride. 

I recently also bought a 1000-piece puzzle. I seriously dislike that thing. I don’t understand it; it’s really hard; all the pieces and colors look the same. I really didn’t know what I was getting into when I bought it. And now I know- I will either not be buying another puzzle again, not buying one this hard, or at least knowing what I’m getting into if/ when I commit to one again.

If you feel stuck in a rut, decide to do something different and go after it. You will either love it or learn that you don’t, and you will no longer feel like you’re stuck in that rut. 

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

Posted on

People Pleasers Are Liars?!

I recently heard that people pleasers are liars, and at first, I was like, “What?! No!”

But after consideration, I can see how it’s true.

Let’s say your desired result is to lose weight.

Your sister visits and brings you a box of baked goods from a fantastic bakery near her.

She’s excited to share these treats with you, but you know these treats are not on your dietary plan and may hinder your progress in losing weight.

But you also don’t want to tell her no because, after all, she went through the trouble of buying and bringing them to you; she wants to make you happy, and you don’t want to make her upset.

What are your options?

If you say yes to her, you are saying no to yourself, to your goals & dreams.

And you are lying because your genuine desire is to lose weight, not to eat the treats. (I mean, let’s be real, you probably want to eat the treats AND lose weight, but that’s not how weight loss actually works.)

So, what to do?

First, decide how you want to show up to this.

Maybe you want to be kind and gracious.

Consider– what would someone loving, kind & gracious do?

They might say, “Thank you so much for this generous gift. I love you so much, and I’m touched that you thought of me. I’m sorry I didn’t share this previously, but I’m working towards losing weight. Treats like these are not on my food protocol. Would you like me to keep them for you or share them with our neighbor?”

You can be loving, kind & gracious, AND responsible for yourself, staying true to your weight loss goal.

And your sister can be responsible for herself– for her thoughts, feelings & actions, too.

This is how we create and live a life we love.

P.S. As a reminder, as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

P.P.S. You can get in early and register for the next free monthly Christine Seager Coaching Masterclass on How to Create More Fun by registering here.

Posted on

change (happening to you)

When you feel like changes are happening to you,

Like you have no control over your job, your life, or things happening around you,

You think the changes are unnecessary or that you don’t have time, or you’ll never quite get the hang of it,

When you feel frustrated, angry, stressed, and overwhelmed,

You complain to your co-workers, feel disrespected by your boss, and worry about the security of your job,

Your relationships might suffer, you may miss growth opportunities, and you will likely perform less effectively.

And you surely will not get the hang of it.

But if you consider how the changes might be good,
if you remember that you have the potential to learn and adapt,
if you decide to embrace changes and be a valuable resource in helping others,

You will feel more optimistic, proud, confident, and accomplished.

You will then be more likely to participate in training and education related to changes.

You could be a resource and lead by example.

And then you will surely get the hang of it.

And maybe even like your job even more.

If this sounds good, but you don’t know HOW, join me THIS Wednesday, October 25, 2023, at noon MT for my free monthly masterclass on Handling Change. Registration is required– you can do so here.

P.S. Did you know that coaching is peer-reviewed? Dr. Tyra Fainstad, MD, Dr. Adrienne Mann, MD, and Dr. Krithika Suresh, Ph.D., et al, conducted a study of over 1,000 women residents and fellow physicians, enrolling about half of them in a group coaching program while the other half did not receive any coaching. Their research found that coaching drastically improves burnout, imposter syndrome, and self-compassion (among other things). Click here to read the study that was published in The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) or here to read it on PubMed.

Posted on

a study of one

You can do a study of one. 

Just you. 

And you can apply the scientific process to yourself. 

What is the goal? 

Gather information. 

Form a hypothesis.

Test with an experiment.

What are the results? 

Analyze the results- what worked, what didn’t, and what would you like to do differently?

State your conclusion. 

For example, 

Goal: get the most out of the rest of summer. 

Cool! 

How might you like to do that? What is your hypothesis? 

Hypothesis: try different beach activities– swimming, reading, picnicking, beach games, fishing. 

Experiment: schedule your beach activities & try them one at a time. 

Data: Take notes on the activity you participated in, the level of joy you/ your family experienced, and how you felt. 

Analyze: Which activities netted the best results? What worked, what didn’t work, and what do you want to do differently? 

Adjust based on your analysis. If necessary, create a new hypothesis to explore and repeat the process. 

Other examples: 

Discover new local restaurants to enjoy during the summer.

Develop your photography skills and capture the essence of summer.

Embrace the spirit of adventure and push your boundaries with outdoor activities.

You can apply this to literally anything, and it’s so easy to do when it’s an experiment of one- just you. 

If you’d like to learn more about How to Get the Most Out of the Rest of Summer (& other applications for the scientific process in your life), join me on Wednesday, July 26, 2023, at 11 AM MT for my next free Masterclass. Registration is required; you can do so here.

Posted on

co-sign

Are you someone who needs others to co-sign on your ideas?

You’re afraid of being judged, criticized, or doing it “wrong.”

This might look like:

You want to write a book but struggle to start writing or sharing this dream with others.

You constantly seek validation from fellow writers & online writing communities.

You do all the research to ensure your idea is worth pursuing and that you know exactly how to do it.

You don’t trust your own creativity & you rely on external validation before taking any concrete steps toward writing. 

Perhaps you want to switch careers and pursue your desire to become a wedding planner.

You constantly seek validation from your friends & family that this is a good idea. 

You don’t attend workshops or start marketing your business until everyone else is onboard, too.

You struggle to trust your own talent & abilities without constant reassurance from others.

You spend time talking to everyone else rather than 

Believing in your ideas, 

Being proactive in your decision-making, 

Taking empowered action, 

(Even if others are skeptical), 

And developing the self-confidence 

To make decisions based on your desires and values, 

Trusting your own judgment,

Embracing your individuality, 

And creating & living a life you love. 

You don’t need others to opt in, co-sign, or agree with what you are doing. 

You only need to believe in yourself, 

Recognizing your own enoughness, 

Just as you are. 

If you’d like help to recognize your own enoughness, I can help.

Click here to take the first step & book your complimentary, no-obligation consultation.

As a reminder, for LHW employees, coaching is free! Click here to book your in-person coaching session or here for a remote coaching session.

Posted on

not enough

Not feeling like you’re enough can look like many different things: 

~hesitating to share your opinions or ideas at work

~feeling insecure about your appearance & comparing yourself to others

~avoiding taking on leadership roles or projects because you’re worried about failure or judgment

~feeling uncomfortable when you receive compliments or praise and then dismissing them or downplaying your accomplishments

~struggling to advocate for your own needs & preferences in relationships

~doubting your abilities and qualifications for promotions, even when you meet the required criteria

~being overly self-critical or focusing on your perceived flaws

~perseverating &/or not able to let go when you make a mistake

~hesitating to uphold your boundaries with micromanaging bosses, difficult colleagues, or mothers-in-law

~being reluctant to speak up or contribute to the conversation in social gatherings

~questioning your ability to provide guidance & support to your older children

~being overly concerned about what others think of you, seeking external validation for your self-worth

~hesitating to ask for help or support because you’re worried it would be seen as a sign of weakness… 

And these are just a few. 

Does any of this sound familiar to you? 

I call this not feeling like you are enough. 

Right now, 

just as you are, 

because you are, 

even if you don’t see it in yourself. 

If you’d like to learn how to 

Find Your Enoughness

Join my email list

And I will send you this FREE Masterclass

Where I’ll teach you how.

See you there.

Posted on

the VALUE of coaching

Clarity: Coaching helps you clarify your values, priorities, and aspirations, enabling you to make informed decisions aligned with your true desires.

Empowerment: Through coaching, you’ll develop self-awareness, self-confidence, and assertiveness, empowering you to set and enforce healthy boundaries, freeing you from people-pleasing tendencies.

Overcoming perfectionism: Coaching provides practical tools and strategies to challenge perfectionistic tendencies, helping you embrace progress over perfection and fostering self-acceptance.

Action-oriented mindset: Coaches support you in overcoming procrastination by breaking down goals into actionable steps, enhancing your time management skills, and fostering accountability.

Goal attainment: With coaching, you’ll set clear, measurable goals and receive guidance on creating effective action plans, increasing your likelihood of achieving personal and professional milestones.

Enhanced fulfillment: Coaching encourages you to explore and pursue a life you love, aligning your actions with your passions, values, and strengths, ultimately leading to increased fulfillment and happiness.

So that you can FEEL BETTER!! 💕💕 If you’d like support to feed better, too- reach out; I can help you.

Posted on

taking time for you… without guilt

You feel guilty anytime you want to take time for yourself, thinking you should be doing something more productive, like mowing the lawns, reading your book, or just sitting on the front porch for a hot minute.

You worry that taking time for yourself means neglecting your responsibilities.

You feel overwhelmed by the constant pressure to keep doing.

You constantly feel as if you’re doing something wrong, even though you’re exhausted.

You’re sometimes fed up & tired of putting work & everyone else’s needs before yours.

But you continue to fill your schedule with tasks & responsibilities, leaving little downtime.

You continue to put work & everyone else’s needs before yours.

And you avoid taking breaks or resting, believing it’s unproductive or wasting time.

But rather than feeling guilty, remember:

Some downtime is essential for your well-being.

It’s OK for you to rest, take a break, go for a walk.

Taking time for yourself lets you recharge, be more productive, and be present for others.

Productivity can be about taking care of yourself and finding balance, too.

You don’t need to feel guilty or think you should be doing something else.

With this added self-compassion, you can:

Decide to block off some downtime in your schedule.

Set boundaries & communicate them to others as needed.

Prioritize yourself & your needs alongside your responsibilities.

And actually enjoy your downtime without guilt & pressure.

You’ll have less guilt, more compassion, greater well-being, and be better able to rest, relax & recharge.

You will be even more productive & effective in your work & responsibilities.

Have a better work-life balance,

And an increased overall satisfaction and fulfillment in life.

If you’d like support to take the time you deserve for yourself without worrying about being productive, prioritize self-care, recharge, and be more present while still fulfilling your responsibilities, this is exactly what I help my clients with.

Click here to book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation call.

LHW Employees can click here to book an in-person coaching call or here to book a remote coaching session as a benefit for working at Logan Health Whitefish. Isn’t that nice?!? 

Posted on

lead with your heart

Embrace the power of leading with your heart!

When you trust and follow your heart’s guidance, amazing things unfold.

Here’s why leading with your heart is not just important but also a game-changer:

Authenticity: Leading with your heart allows you to be your true self.

It’s about embracing your values, passions, and desires without compromise.

By staying true to yourself, you attract genuine connections and experiences.

Clarity & Alignment: Your heart knows what truly resonates with you.

By tuning in and listening closely, you gain clarity about your path, goals, and aspirations.

This alignment brings focus, motivation, and a sense of purpose.

Empathy & Connection: Leading with your heart opens the door to understanding and empathy.

You create deeper connections and foster meaningful relationships when you approach others with compassion, kindness, and genuine care.

Intuition & Wise Decisions: Your heart holds an innate wisdom that transcends logic.

By tapping into your intuition, you make decisions that feel profoundly right.

Trusting your instincts leads to well-informed choices and personal growth.

Resilience & Fulfillment: Following your heart often means taking risks and embracing vulnerability.

It builds resilience as you navigate challenges with courage and determination.

Ultimately, living in alignment with your heart’s desires brings deep fulfillment and a sense of wholeness.

So, let’s lead with our hearts, embracing authenticity, clarity, empathy, intuition, and resilience along the way. 

Trust that when you honor the wisdom of your heart, the path ahead becomes brighter and more fulfilling.

If leading with your heart interests you, book a complimentary, no-obligation consultation here.