Category: decision-making

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under-living

Are you under-living? 

It might look like: 

~ a job you don’t love. 

~ relationships that are more stressful than joyful. 

~ travel you’re not taking. 

~ time you’re not spending doing what you love to do. 

~ feeling like a robot going from one required task to the next. 

You’re so annoyed with where you’ve wound up, with what you’re doing with your one wild and precious life. 

(You hate to admit that you feel like you might be wasting it.) 

You want more. 

You have dreams. 

You wish you could just step out of your life into a different one. 

Or maybe you like most of your life if only you could

~ be a better parent. 

~ have a different body. 

~ be a better manager. 

~ feel more confident. 

~ make more time. 

~ have a better marriage. 

~ feel in control of your life at large. 

~ could have more excitement & adventure like you used to. 

You feel stuck, frustrated, disappointed, and discouraged, and you have basically given up on remembering what you love to do. 

You want to make changes, but it feels overwhelming. 

You worry that it may not be possible for you. 

You don’t know where to start. 

You don’t know what to do. 

You don’t follow through. 

You aren’t consistent. 

So things just stay the same. 

Even though you so desperately want a different experience for yourself, your life, and your family. 

Please know that under-living is optional. 

You can opt-out.

And opt-in to living a life you truly love. 

It IS possible. 

You can have all of those things—be a better parent, have a better body, be a better manager, feel more confident, make more time, have a better marriage (have better relationships), feel in control of your life, have more excitement and adventures—live a life you love. 

And here’s the kicker– nothing outside of you has to change. 

It starts with you, just you, and your brain—where you choose to focus and how you choose to manage your mind. 

If you want to learn how, book an appointment or set up a consultation. We’ll discuss what you’re looking for specifically, and I’ll tell you how coaching can help. Then, the fun part—we’ll get to work creating a life you love. 

Go from this:

To this:

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stuck in a rut

If you’re someone who feels stuck in a rut, this one is for you. 

I was recently revisiting Gretchen Rubins’ book The Happiness Project. When I read, “I wasn’t depressed, and I wasn’t having a midlife crisis, but I was suffering from midlife malaise– a recurrent sense of discontent and almost a feeling of disbelief… Is this really it?” 

She went on, “… though at times I felt dissatisfied, that something was missing, I also never forgot how fortunately I was… I had everything I could possibly want– yet I was failing to appreciate it. Bogged down in petty complaints and passing crises, weary of struggling with my own nature… I wasn’t as happy as I could be, and my life wasn’t going to change unless I made it change.” 

This. This was me in 2018. I could NOT figure out what was missing from my life. 

It turns out it was me, and in time, I learned that:

~ I was not stuck; I had more control over my life than I thought. 

~ I was not appreciating what I had, instead of choosing to seek the good in my everyday life.

~ And I was not expanding that by taking a few seconds or even a minute to soak it all in– absorbing it into my core. 

So, if you are someone who feels stuck in a rut– what can you do differently? 

Start with the things listed above, but then also:

Switch things up by driving a different route to work, pick up a new activity (or rediscover an old one), and reach out to family or friends to connect with. 

You can meet new people and offer to meet someone for coffee, join a gym, or other group of like-minded people. 

You might like to start with a clean space, so declutter your home, workspace, or closet. 

Just try different things until you find the things you like to do. 

I recently signed up for Flathead Area Mountain Bike’s Women’s Clinics. My family was shocked and asked why I suddenly wanted to start mountain biking. My bike is 20 years old and I can probably count on two hands how many times I’ve mountain biked in those 20 years, but I wanted to do something different. I also thought I might like it better if I learned how to mountain bike properly. And, I’m in better shape than I have been; I now have more stamina. (I know what they mean when they say it’s time in the seat. They’re talking about building muscle, which takes time and consistency.) 

I’m loving it. It’s challenging mentally and physically. Am I still sometimes getting frustrated with what I can’t do? Sure, but I’m able to take it in stride. 

I recently also bought a 1000-piece puzzle. I seriously dislike that thing. I don’t understand it; it’s really hard; all the pieces and colors look the same. I really didn’t know what I was getting into when I bought it. And now I know- I will either not be buying another puzzle again, not buying one this hard, or at least knowing what I’m getting into if/ when I commit to one again.

If you feel stuck in a rut, decide to do something different and go after it. You will either love it or learn that you don’t, and you will no longer feel like you’re stuck in that rut. 

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

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The Solution to Overthinking

Overthinking is a way our brains keep us small, safe, and exactly where we are.

Let’s say you have a career decision to make. Should you stay in your current position or start a new job with a different company?

You don’t know the “right” answer because you don’t fully know what it will be like once you get there.

Will it be easier or harder?
Can you make the same amount of money you make now?
What will the people you work with be like?
What about your new boss?
What will the hours be (not what they say they will be)?
What sort of support will you have?
Will they deliver on their promises?

You can’t tell how this will work out for you until you get there, no matter how much research you do or what questions you ask.

Getting data is undoubtedly helpful, but no one can decide for you.

And you will never have a 100% guarantee, either way.

So, I suggest you simply DECIDE.

Ask yourself: if either way was the “right” decision, what do you WANT to do?

Then go & make that BE the right decision.

Go all in on that decision.

I’m Christine. I’m a RESULTS coach. This means I help my clients have, do, be, or achieve anything they want in life– because life is too short to be so miserable.

I have a few one-on-one coaching spots available, starting in April.

You can check out at my next free monthly masterclass, How to Create More Fun, on March 13. Registration is required; you can do so here.

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish, employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

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rock star

When I went to my husband’s work Christmas party in December, 

I felt like a rock star & I can’t even tell you how fabulous that was.

I didn’t even really realize how much less stress & anxiety I was feeling until I was in the shower, getting ready. 

(Isn’t all of our best thinking done in the shower?)

I compared my feelings for this Christmas party to one I attended just a year ago.

I was a complete hot mess.

I felt inadequate, insecure, anxious, exposed, & had dread.

I had all the negative self-talk, 

100% of which was untrue, 

but I 100% believed it.

I didn’t have anything “good” to wear, my hair was a mess, & I felt fat. 

I tried to force myself to feel better while feeling like a complete sh*t-show on the inside. 

It didn’t work & instead, I had a meltdown.

After being fully dressed & 80% ready to go, I took off all my clothes to regroup & start over.

I even took another shower– sweaty & wanting to wash the tear stains from my face.

I was more than an hour late to that party.

This year, I Marco Polo’d with some girlfriends to get their input on my outfit.

I felt like I looked amazing. 

I got showered, dressed, & ready with zero drama.

I felt comfortable and confident.

I openly approached & initiated conversations with people.

I felt so good & grateful; words are inadequate to describe it accurately,

but I can feel it in my heart– like my heart aches with goodness & gratitude

for myself,

for my work on me,

for my coaches, 

& for the coaching I do with my clients, too.

So, what changed?

I got coached and learned 

• how to build self-trust

• how to manage my mind

• how to manage my negative emotions & create better feelings 

• how to have fun & so much less anxiety

And you can, too.

If you want to feel like a rock star,

If you want to be able to get ready for an event without a hot mess meltdown,

If you want friends who will give you Marco Polo outfit advice,

I can help you. 

You can join me for a free monthly webinar about How to Build Self-Trust on 1/31/24 at 11 AM MT. Register here. 

Or, you can book a consultation here. 

Reminder: as part of the benefits offered at Logan Health Whitefish employees get free coaching sessions. You can book an in-person coaching session here or a remote/Zoom coaching session here. 

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change (happening to you)

When you feel like changes are happening to you,

Like you have no control over your job, your life, or things happening around you,

You think the changes are unnecessary or that you don’t have time, or you’ll never quite get the hang of it,

When you feel frustrated, angry, stressed, and overwhelmed,

You complain to your co-workers, feel disrespected by your boss, and worry about the security of your job,

Your relationships might suffer, you may miss growth opportunities, and you will likely perform less effectively.

And you surely will not get the hang of it.

But if you consider how the changes might be good,
if you remember that you have the potential to learn and adapt,
if you decide to embrace changes and be a valuable resource in helping others,

You will feel more optimistic, proud, confident, and accomplished.

You will then be more likely to participate in training and education related to changes.

You could be a resource and lead by example.

And then you will surely get the hang of it.

And maybe even like your job even more.

If this sounds good, but you don’t know HOW, join me THIS Wednesday, October 25, 2023, at noon MT for my free monthly masterclass on Handling Change. Registration is required– you can do so here.

P.S. Did you know that coaching is peer-reviewed? Dr. Tyra Fainstad, MD, Dr. Adrienne Mann, MD, and Dr. Krithika Suresh, Ph.D., et al, conducted a study of over 1,000 women residents and fellow physicians, enrolling about half of them in a group coaching program while the other half did not receive any coaching. Their research found that coaching drastically improves burnout, imposter syndrome, and self-compassion (among other things). Click here to read the study that was published in The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) or here to read it on PubMed.

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I don’t know; I’m not sure

How often do you find yourself thinking or saying, “I don’t know,” or “I’m not sure”?

Beware! It’s just a ploy from your brain to keep you in inaction, preventing you from moving toward your goal. 

For example, regarding your career, you might think: 

• I don’t know if this is what I want to do. 

• I don’t know what I would do differently. 

• I don’t know what else I even could do. 

We could substitute “I’m not sure” for any of those examples, but I’ll give you a few more. 

• I’m not sure this is for me. 

• I’m not sure this is the right thing. 

• I’m not sure how I wound up here. 

• I’m not sure if I want to make a change. 

• I’m not even sure where to start. 

You feel confused or stuck, so there you sit in your continued confusion, continued stuckness.

Wash, rinse, repeat this negative cycle, or maybe you even make a few moves, some small changes, but then you get stuck &/or confused again & you’re back in the negative cycle. 

Instead of believing that you don’t know, try answering these questions for yourself,

• “But what if I did know?”

• “What do I think my answer would be?” 

• “What could my answer be?” 

• “What do I think my answer is?” 

Take the pressure off, landing on the “exact right answer right now,”

Just explore & see what comes up for you. 

When I was leaving my nursing supervisor position, every day, I walked past my friend’s office & told her about a new job idea, something different every day. (I was still figuring out what I wanted to do next, and staying in “I don’t know/ I’m not sure” would never lead to a new career.) 

• teaching paddle boarding

• driving people over Going to the Sun Road

• opening a flower shop

• opening a bookstore

• managing AirBnBs

• concierge (medical or personal) 

• leading all women’s tour groups 

It was so much fun.

It made me more creative. 

I brainstormed and paid attention to see how these ideas felt to determine if any truly interested me. 

Usually, we laughed at the ridiculousness, but a few actually stuck. 

Don’t believe the hype!!

Be onto your brain & the BS it’s offering you. 

Don’t believe that you don’t know.

You DO know. 

You just need to look around a bit, don’t judge yourself, create safety, and be willing to get creative (and ridiculous, if that’s what it takes) to see what comes up for you. 

If you’d like help to get unstuck to break the cycle of unknowing, I can help; I’ve truly done this work myself. Believe me– I have been there and can help you, too. 

Do I have all of the answers at all times? For sure, no. 

But I have created a safe & nonjudgemental environment within myself. 

And I do know how to get unstuck. 

I know how to conjure up the courage to try new things. 

I know where to focus my brain,

how to find evidence of beliefs to support me, 

and how to move past my self-limiting beliefs.

If you’d like help, have a little courage, too, to reach out & message me or just go ahead and book a consult. I know the first step isn’t always easy, but if this resonates with you, I assure you that you are in the right place, and I can help you. I’ll teach you some things, we’ll coach & we will get there together.

And this is exactly how you create & live a life you love.

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a study of one

You can do a study of one. 

Just you. 

And you can apply the scientific process to yourself. 

What is the goal? 

Gather information. 

Form a hypothesis.

Test with an experiment.

What are the results? 

Analyze the results- what worked, what didn’t, and what would you like to do differently?

State your conclusion. 

For example, 

Goal: get the most out of the rest of summer. 

Cool! 

How might you like to do that? What is your hypothesis? 

Hypothesis: try different beach activities– swimming, reading, picnicking, beach games, fishing. 

Experiment: schedule your beach activities & try them one at a time. 

Data: Take notes on the activity you participated in, the level of joy you/ your family experienced, and how you felt. 

Analyze: Which activities netted the best results? What worked, what didn’t work, and what do you want to do differently? 

Adjust based on your analysis. If necessary, create a new hypothesis to explore and repeat the process. 

Other examples: 

Discover new local restaurants to enjoy during the summer.

Develop your photography skills and capture the essence of summer.

Embrace the spirit of adventure and push your boundaries with outdoor activities.

You can apply this to literally anything, and it’s so easy to do when it’s an experiment of one- just you. 

If you’d like to learn more about How to Get the Most Out of the Rest of Summer (& other applications for the scientific process in your life), join me on Wednesday, July 26, 2023, at 11 AM MT for my next free Masterclass. Registration is required; you can do so here.

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the cure for overwhelm

Vagueness leads to overwhelm.

And the cure for overwhelm is specificity.

What exactly is it that has you feeling overwhelmed?

Be specific.

Then check in- is it true?

(Often, that alone will be sufficient when you see it’s not true.)

Try this:
I don’t have enough time.

Take a step back & take a look at it; get specific & objective.
What does not enough time mean?
How much time do you need?
What, specifically, do you need time for?
How much time do you think that will take?
How much time do you actually have?
Are you using that time to the best of your ability?
Is there somewhere you “wring out” more time?
Can you batch things?
Is everything on your list a priority?
Is there someone you can delegate to?
How might you be able to create more time?

When you’re able to get more specific & objective,
you can more clearly see what you’re working with

And from there, you have more brain space to develop more creative solutions.

Be specific & break it down.

If you feel overwhelmed and struggle with time management, I can help; book a consultation now!

Logan Health Whitefish Employees, book an in-person coaching session here; or a remote coaching session (via phone or Zoom) here.

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self-doubt

Do you feel inadequate and full of self-doubt? 

You feel frustrated & resent your boss; you think she’s power-tripping. 

You want a better work-life balance. Lots less work/ lots more life, of- course. 

You constantly try to figure out how you can work fewer hours AND get the bills paid. 

You know you do a good job, but your brain is more likely to remind you of where you’re lacking than of your good work. 

You have a vague sense of dissatisfaction & constantly feel like something is missing. 

You aren’t happy, you aren’t even content & you lack motivation for everything you want to do (not just work, but at home, too). 

You’re constantly exhausted & frankly, just over it. 

I challenge you to seek out your unique strengths & talents and recognize what makes you you. 

When you identify what is holding you back,

And you see where you are holding yourself back,

And you decide to step into who you truly are at your core,

And share that with the world–

You will have a greater sense of fulfillment. 

You will build a stronger & more connected relationship with yourself & those whom you choose to share yourself with. 

You will have more motivation & be energized. 

You will have the capacity to find a better work-life balance. 

You will create & live a life you love for you by you (and this does not mean at the exclusion of others). 

How? 

~ take proactive steps to improve your self-confidence & overcome your self-limiting beliefs
~ actively pursue opportunities to create a more fulfilling work environment or explore part-time options
~ engage in activities that bring you joy & fulfillment
~ have the courage to seek something different 
~ be willing to take action, even when it’s uncomfortable 

If you struggle with this or don’t know what to do or how to do it– I would be honored to support you. I have done this work myself & this is exactly what I help my clients with. Reach out. Let’s talk. Click here to take the first step & book your complimentary, no-obligation consultation.

As a reminder, for LHW employees, coaching is free! Click here to book your in-person coaching session or here for a remote coaching session.

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co-sign

Are you someone who needs others to co-sign on your ideas?

You’re afraid of being judged, criticized, or doing it “wrong.”

This might look like:

You want to write a book but struggle to start writing or sharing this dream with others.

You constantly seek validation from fellow writers & online writing communities.

You do all the research to ensure your idea is worth pursuing and that you know exactly how to do it.

You don’t trust your own creativity & you rely on external validation before taking any concrete steps toward writing. 

Perhaps you want to switch careers and pursue your desire to become a wedding planner.

You constantly seek validation from your friends & family that this is a good idea. 

You don’t attend workshops or start marketing your business until everyone else is onboard, too.

You struggle to trust your own talent & abilities without constant reassurance from others.

You spend time talking to everyone else rather than 

Believing in your ideas, 

Being proactive in your decision-making, 

Taking empowered action, 

(Even if others are skeptical), 

And developing the self-confidence 

To make decisions based on your desires and values, 

Trusting your own judgment,

Embracing your individuality, 

And creating & living a life you love. 

You don’t need others to opt in, co-sign, or agree with what you are doing. 

You only need to believe in yourself, 

Recognizing your own enoughness, 

Just as you are. 

If you’d like help to recognize your own enoughness, I can help.

Click here to take the first step & book your complimentary, no-obligation consultation.

As a reminder, for LHW employees, coaching is free! Click here to book your in-person coaching session or here for a remote coaching session.