Oh my goodness, he’s done it again.
The laundry is in a heap on the floor, right NEXT TO the hamper, not actually in the hamper.
You’ve asked him time & time again to put the dirty clothes IN the hamper, but he doesn’t.
You even moved the hamper to where he drops his dirty clothes on the floor, but still no.
So, you take a deep breath & try to remember what you learned in Christine’s Collaborative Communications workshop.
You get calm & curious.
You state what you see.
You validate & show understanding.
You ask for his solution.
And later, you evaluate.
Of course, ideally, after this conversation, the laundry makes it into the basket, but more importantly,
Because you collaborated calmly, instead of coming “at” him, he is more willing to talk about it.
Because you showed understanding instead of angrily asking him why?! He feels loved & supported, & not like he’s in ‘trouble.’
You & your partner are on the same team.
You can come to a solution that works for both of you.
And you’ve averted an argument over something as trivial as laundry.
