Unknown, unsure, and uncertain have been coming up a lot recently. Many people are facing this right now. (It’s funny how things work like this. When I worked in the Emergency Room, we joked that there was “special” on MIs, abdominal pain, or whatever the “flavor” of the shift was. Today’s special is on the unknown, LOL.) And given the global pandemic and how things are constantly changing— it’s no wonder!
For clarity, “unknown” is defined as “not to have (information of some kind) in your mind; not to understand (something): not to have a clear and complete idea of (something).” (Merriam-Webster.com)
Are you familiar with the fable about the Chinese farmer and his sons? Let me indulge you.
Once upon a time, there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “We’ll see.” The next day the horse came back, bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening, everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “We’ll see.” The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “We’ll see.” The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “We’ll see.” [https://www.craftdeology.com/the-story-of-the-chinese-farmer-by-alan-watts/]
Of course, life would be so much easier if someone just handed us an instruction manual. You would know exactly what was around every corner and how to handle every situation. But goodness, wouldn’t that be boring? And sure, sometimes when things are really feeling uncertain and scary, you’d welcome some boring into your life… but this is the beauty of life. It just doesn’t work this way.
Pema Chödrön asks, “How can we relax and have a genuine, passionate relationship with the fundamental uncertainty, the groundlessness, of being human?” To which she also answers, “What if we accepted it and relaxed into it? What if we said, ‘Yes, this is the way it is; this is what it means to be human,” and decided to sit down and enjoy the ride?” [Living Beautifully, p. 4]
Oh my goodness, can you imagine? To just sit down and enjoy the ride of life? You would have so much less stress, less worry, less time spent spinning your wheels trying to hit an impossible target.
I know… you might be thinking: but Christine, that’s a lot. I have all this stuff going on; I can’t just sit back and enjoy the ride; there’s too much to do and too many things to plan.
Don’t worry; I’ve got you.
Tell me: WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
Seriously, write a list. Take out a pen and paper and write it all down and when you’re done writing, check-in is there more? Any little thing will do. You can even title it, “This is what I know…” (I like Oprah’s line: “this is what I know for sure…”)
When you feel confused, upset, or overwhelmed with all of the unknowns, when it feels like everything is unstable and out of your control— prove to yourself that you do know some things.
