I had a few stressful experiences this past August that I’m sharing with you.
First, my parents came for a visit to Montana. I was concerned about their visit b/c our Delta variant numbers, and hospital admissions have been increasing locally. I, of- course, don’t want them to get sick at all, but especially during a visit to see us. So, I was hypervigilant, analyzing every touch, every person I spoke with, and every place I went for two weeks before their arrival.
Then, while still raw with this fear and worry (my parents were still here), Scott left on a medical mission trip. He was on a plane within 32 hours, and because he was away at work (he still had to finish his shift, drive 3 hours home, and then pack), we had only 1 hour to spend together before he was off to the Middle East.
My mind was like: Alert! System overload!! Alert! System overload- with all the bright lights and sirens going at once. And, quite frankly, the evening Scott left, I was not firing on all cylinders; I was utterly stressed out, forgetful, and struggled to make any further decisions.
As a coach who pays attention to her mindset, I noted what I could do to help mitigate these seemingly “out of my control” circumstances. [A funny thing about control: when you think you have no control, you actually do b/c you can always control yourself, so you always have some control.]
First, I gave myself GRACE, and I asked for extra grace from those around me. I asked point-blank, saying, “This is not a good time for me, right now, please be extra kind to me for a little while.”
Second, I STAYED PRESENT, taking each moment as it came and keeping my fears in check, for example, thinking: “At this moment, I’m not aware that Scott is in any imminent danger.” I let that be good enough and kept going.
Third, I chose to FILTER information. I take news and information in when I am ready to hear and deal with it. While not for everyone, this has been a useful protective mechanism. This does not mean that I’m not aware of what’s happening around me- it just means that I get to choose when I let it in and how I react to it.
I also filtered out the fears, doubts, & worries that my mind offers. Like a toddler about to touch a hot stove, I push those thoughts aside and then focus on something more interesting… like staying present, being kind to others, and having grace for myself.
