But first, a story.
In April of 2019, I canceled a trip. It was my first coaching workshop in Sacramento, CA. There was a series of unfortunate events.
First, Scott was away on a “medical mission” trip, as I call them, out saving the world.
Then, Max got kennel cough, so I couldn’t board him. Fortunately, Tara was able to stay with him, even though this was inconvenient for her.
Finally, at 10 PM the night before my 6 AM flight, I discovered the basement had flooded in the worst way- yep, the septic system backed up.
I worked hard to figure out every option. I could work through the night to clean up the mess, change my plane tickets, and call the septic people first thing in the morning, but the flights didn’t work out & I would miss my first day of class, and attendance was required. Also, I couldn’t leave Tara here without running water or septic, and there was nowhere else for (a contagious) Max to go. So I finally called it, and to say I was crushed is an understatement.
I bawled while I called the airline to see if I could change my tickets. I bawled while I called the Academy of Coaching Excellence to cancel my attendance the next day. I bawled for hours and hours while talking to Tara until 1 AM because I was so heartbroken. I really wanted to do this; I NEEDED to do this… and I blamed it all on Scott.
Yep. All of it.
The kennel cough, and that we even had a dog in the first place. The septic malfunction. The fact that he was gone- he was not here to help ME, and I needed his help right now!
Never once did I look to me or see my role in this. Um, hello?
Yes, I agreed to get the dog. There was nothing to be done about the kennel cough- I don’t even know where he got it. I could have checked the septic or even reminded him to do so before he left. And as far as Scott’s being here to help me? He was busy helping people in far more need than me.
So, the next time you blame your spouse, take a minute to check yourself. What was your role? You’re a grown-ass, independent woman- how did you contribute to the situation?
The outcome of this story: I cleaned up the basement and called the septic people first thing the following day. They instructed me on what to do, and it wound up being a simple fix. Max recovered from his kennel cough. Scott returned safely from his trip. I rebooked my flight and attended the coaching workshop in July of 2019, delaying my coaching career by three months. This time wound up being beneficial, as Scott and I spent some time working on ourselves, examining our relationship and life goals- leading us to be happier together in the past two years than we were in the previous decade.
