You are perfect in your humanness right now, just as you are.
You don’t need your spouse to validate you, prove that you are lovable, or complete you (cue Jerry McGuire).
And however you want your spouse to make you feel, you can feel right now.
Are you looking to him to make you feel pretty? Think of 3 ways you are pretty.
Do you want him to help you feel loved? What are 3 ways you are loved?
Do you want him to prove your worthiness? What are three ways you are worthy right now, on your own, without his telling you so?
Because here’s the thing-
nothing outside of you can make you feel a certain way.
Only YOU can make you feel a certain way.
This is great news because if it’s all up to you, you have power over it. You can choose to feel whole and complete and perfect in your imperfectly human way right now.
You complete you, not your spouse.
Any compliments, validation, “good feels” you get from your spouse are bonus material, the icing on the cake, the cherry on top. You don’t need them to feel complete because you already know you are.
If you’re asking, “But how?”
See that it’s a choice.
Choose to think thoughts that support you to feel that way.
Find evidence to support it.
Each moment is an opportunity to feel how you want to feel.
What thoughts support you to feel complete?
I exist, therefore I am lovable. I’m already perfect in my imperfect human way. I have goals & dreams & am working toward them. I have my own answers within me & am learning to listen to them.
Find evidence to support it.
My parents love me, God/ the Universe loves me, the cat loves me (not Max b/c he loves Scott most, haha). I am imperfect, but I try. I am working towards my goals & dreams. I have my own answers and am learning to listen to them. This is an ongoing practice for me- I checked in with myself (as I checked in with my team at work) to see what I think I should be doing, what my people need to hear, etc.
Now it’s your turn.
What feelings are you looking to get from your spouse?
What thoughts will support you to feel that way for yourself?
Then, find the evidence to support those thoughts.
